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Savvy February 2019

Horrible bridesmaids🤬

Em99, on September 16, 2019 at 11:01 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 51
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Did anyone else on here have a horrible bachelorette party? Let's just say instead of everyone "taking care of me" I took care of them😑 I literally had to pay for my "maid of honor" and where we went was not so cheap 🤦🏼‍♀️ And still continuing to plan everything for myself!! My bridal shower is in two weeks and I'm honestly so furious at this point!! The wedding is three weeks!


  • Kaleigh
    Expert December 2019
    Kaleigh ·
    Where did y’all go? And what happened?
  • Cynthia
    Devoted November 2019
    Cynthia ·
    I feel you with bridesmaids not helping pull their weight. I have 4 and my bestie has been the only one helping me with everything! I almost have to babysit everyone and I haven’t asked for much. My sister who is my maid of honor and her girlfriend still have not gotten their dresses altered and my wedding is in 46 days! I’m beyond stressed 😩 my sisters girlfriend is very short and the dresses are long so they need to almost cut it in half so it’s not too long and dragging. My work friends who are not in the bridal party are planning my bachelorette and none of my bridesmaids helped with that. I honestly don’t think that is asking for much like fix your dresses, help me here and there, and show up at the alter. I’m sorry you are going through a similar problem with not getting the help you need I get everyone is busy, but I know I would be helping them if it was reversed.
  • Vicky
    Expert January 2020
    Vicky ·

    Who chose the location? How did you end up paying for your MOH?

    I'm not sure why anybody would be taking care of anybody. It's a celebration.

    What do you mean by "still continuing to plan everything for myself"?

  • Mrsbdg
    Champion August 2017
    Mrsbdg ·
    I’m confused. How did you end up at a place that only you could afford?

    Are you hosting your own shower?
  • Tilar Fifield
    Devoted August 2019
    Tilar Fifield ·
    I had a bridesmaid I had to remove because she was too irresponsible to financially commit. I understand what it’s like to be frustrated with your girls. Do they know you were expecting them to help out with wedding tasks? Are they aware you need help and just ignoring you? Or were you just expecting them to know better. There were a couple times I was irritated that my girls didn’t help me, but I realized it because I wasn't asking for help. And to be honest, I really didn’t want help. I wanted to do it all myself, I more just wanted someone to make sure I was all good. Also, I had a bridesmaid ask my MIL to pay $600 for a limo service for my Bach party 😐 SO embarrassing! Needless to say we did not have a stupid limo 😂
  • L. Madhak
    Expert October 2020
    L. Madhak ·
    I've been lucky and at the moment, everyone has been helpful.

    I honestly don't think anyone is throwing me a bridal shower or bachelorette party. A lot of friends and family are in other cities and other states. I know this is my second wedding, but I eloped with my first and didn't get anything for that one, not even a cake. I'm a little sad that there won't be any parties, but I'd rather have them show up for the wedding if it is a matter of cost.
  • Futuremrsmccormack
    Expert February 2020
    Futuremrsmccormack ·
    View Quoted Comment
    I agree with Vicky. What happened that she needed taking care of? And why would you need taking care of? It's a bummer that you had to pay, but if you planned the bachelorette and decided to go somewhere expensive without consulting them, then I'm not sure what you expected.
  • Kelsey
    Dedicated October 2019
    Kelsey ·
    I have EIGHT bridesmaids I’ve been in all of their weddings so I couldn’t leave anyone out. I was no joke with each of them during the whole process drove hours for events and talked to all the brides non stop about details for their weddings. Now it’s my turn and they are barely there for me they have no idea what’s going on with the wedding and I’m just annoyed because I bent over backwards for them. But I try to be understanding because now they all have kids. But thankfully we did have a good time at the bachelorette party that my sister and I hosted but I payed for a lot of it.

    Horrible bridesmaids🤬 1
  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
    Why didn't people plan an evening everyone could easily afford, themselves?
  • Sexypoodle
    Super October 2020
    Sexypoodle ·
    I just can’t imagine that this is brand new behavior from your “maid of honor“and that you never experienced issues with her before. This id completely out of left field for her??? I doubt it.
  • Caytlyn
    Champion November 2019
    Caytlyn ·

    Maybe don't plan events for yourself and you won't end up that places only you can afford?

  • Caytlyn
    Champion November 2019
    Caytlyn ·

    I don't think that it's fair to assume (on an all inclusive forum) that her future spouse is a man or to stereotype and assume that he doesn't enjoy wedding planning. Even if so, it's his wedding and if he wants it, he should be held responsible for helping to plan. It also shouldn't be assumed that your closest friends want to be put to work for your wedding. That seems to be a common misconception, maybe because of how TV shows and movies portray wedding planning.

    This is a planning forum. People come here to ask for advice. That doesn't mean that they have to like the advice that they receive or that it has to be sugar coated. I'm sorry that my comment seems to have offended you so much.

  • Da Mom
    August 2022
    Da Mom ·

    I think your expectations of what your BM’s are “supposed” to be doing needs adjusting. They do not need to plan anything. Not a shower, not a Bach party, and certainly not your wedding. Things have really gotten crazy these days with over the top pre celebrations. The financial burden is outrageous. Step back and remember you are preparing for a marriage. Focus on that instead of what you think everyone else should be doing for you and you won’t be disappointed.

  • Jennifer
    VIP September 2020
    Jennifer ·
    1) Thank you for the apology. I am just wanting everyone to be kind. There’s too much unkindness nowadays.
    2) I said guy yes, I was not trying to be uninclusive.
    3) Most men I know hate(d) the wedding planning, and wanted their wife/husband to do it all.
    4) I agree that our perception has changed over the years, mostly due to the points you mentioned.
    But, I also know my grandmothers, aunts and moms bridal party also helped do things...
    5) I think that if the bride and bridal party have previously agreed upon duties it is not unrealistic to think that they will still do them. Not saying that’s the case with this bride and her girls, but it has been on other posts.
  • Stefanie
    Devoted April 2020
    Stefanie ·
    View Quoted Comment
    Bingo! 👏👌
  • Just Said Yes October 2019
    Team NO Bridesmaids! 😁
    Communication is key girl, I just have no patience and no time to deal with all the extra!
    Our wedding is in 3 weeks too 10/12

  • needmorewine
    Expert May 2016
    needmorewine ·
    View Quoted Comment

    I wish this forum still had the "like" button. And that I could like this post 100 times. Expectations are really getting out of hand.

  • Katie
    Super November 2019
    Katie ·
    My MOH who is my sister is planning a shower alongside my mom and grandmother for October and just this past weekend she backed out of the shower because it was too stressful and then call me and said it was really because she didn't want to make the drive or deal with our mother. My sister and I both live in Houston and the shower is 3.5 hours away in our hometown so now i have to drive by myself since she won't be going
  • Jodie
    Savvy April 2020
    Jodie ·
    View Quoted Comment
    Amen. The poster was a bit vague about everything so I can’t say much about her situation but in general there is too much bridesmaids bashing on this forum. Too many are “horrible” or being “fired”when in reality the true focus should be the marriage as you said
  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·

    I'm so sorry you had a bad bachelorette experience. Thankfully my bach & shower & whole wedding planning process was pretty easy, but I did almost everything for wedding-related stuff and made it super easy for them. My MOH was super on top of it and thankfully all my BM had super great well-paying jobs so money wasn't an issue, I still covered the entire dinner one night and one round of drinks both nights and favors though. My mom hosted my shower so there wasn't any stress on the BM. At least the bach is over and you can focus on the wedding!