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Champion August 2017

Guest attire: How much say does the couple get?

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Mrsbdg, on September 6, 2019 at 3:37 PM

Hey y’all!
Well. My dad is getting married in December 🙄 As planning has gone on his FW has really pushed my sister and I around and I’m curious if my hatred towards her is tainting my judgement (okay, I’m bored at work too and her most recent text came through this morning and I’m still processing)

The wedding doesn’t have a listed dress code but she’s been texting us lists of rules even though we haven’t asked her input at all.

Also we are not in the wedding party or in any way a part of the ceremony.

Her rules thus far:
Wear clothing that covers all tattoos (for me that’s : forearm, wrist, behind my ear, and upper shoulder) (for my sister that’s :upper back, ribs and wrist)
Shoulder, chest, back and stomach covered (no mesh)
No suits, pants or jumpsuits
I remove all piercing (nose, septum, rook, and tragus)
No black, grey, red, yellow, or green
No books or sneakers under my dress (and no stilettos for my sister)
Floor length or knee length dresses
Nothing tight or fitted
No natural curls, no heavy makeup, no red or dark lipstick, and no dark nail polish

Other rules are:

We aren’t to talk to her family without her or my father around.

We aren’t allowed to drink.

My sister, husband, and I aren’t to speak Spanish to one another around her family.

A few of these rules I already plan to break: I’m drinking and speaking to my husband any way I wish. I’m tempted to just buy whatever dress I want.

Also, yes, we’ve talked to Dad and sent him screenshots and he’s basically said she’s a picky bride and that we need to respect our FMIL.

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204 Comments

VIP November 2021
· on September 7, 2019 at 10:07 AM
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Yes yes and yes 🥳 this is the best LOL!!!!
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Dedicated June 2021
KimandLarry · on September 7, 2019 at 10:38 AM
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Removing piercings could result in them closing up, depending on where they are. Your tattoos are a part of you and if they don't like it f*** them. As for the unity ceremony and dance, that would be the final straw for me. Being excluded from them is the thing that would keep me home. Wearing whatever the h*** I want to wear.
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Champion August 2017
Mrsbdg · on September 7, 2019 at 11:00 AM
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Ugh the Saturday before Christmas (because NO one will be busy then 🙄).
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Master October 2017
karen · on September 7, 2019 at 11:45 AM
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I would be advising my dad to get a prenup
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Champion August 2017
Mrsbdg · on September 7, 2019 at 12:23 PM
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If the fact he’s #5 and they started dating while she was still married wasn’t a clue, not sure manipulating his children will rank on that list.
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Just Said Yes March 2020
Brittany · on September 7, 2019 at 12:42 PM
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Honestly I wouldn’t go!!! My stepmother never acted like this for her wedding and she is very particular! And anything she specifically wanted me to wear she bought!
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VIP October 2020
Samantha · on September 7, 2019 at 12:52 PM
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I’m a firm believer that respect is earned. You should always treat someone with basic decency but you have to give respect to get it. If your father wants you to respect his FS, then she needs to respect you. Clearly she doesn’t. Your tattoos, piercings, and especially language are a part of who you are and if she’s asking you to cover that up she’s just asking for a performance. I’d seriously discuss this with your father and say you love him and want to support him at the wedding and in his future with his new spouse, but that you will come only as yourself and that means talking to whomever you please and speaking to your husband however you like. I think reasonable accommodations are always good, like formal attire to a black tie event. But this is so far beyond that.
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Just Said Yes September 2019
Tajanik · on September 7, 2019 at 1:02 PM
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Oh no, this list is way to much. I would say respect your father and the woman he’s to marry but wear what you feel comfortable in. Demasiado
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Super August 2006
Cassandra7 · on September 7, 2019 at 1:03 PM
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I assume she is trying to drive you out of your father's life so she can control him more thoroughly.
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May 2021
Catherine · on September 8, 2019 at 10:30 AM
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He is #5? oh in that case, luckily she probably wont be around that long.
Sounds like a b...h. lWear something appropriate for a wedding, but that is your style. Tattoos, piercings and natural curls are you, they stay. If you of age and want to drink, drink. No talking to her family? What is she afraid of? lol Talk to whomever you want! (Most parents would rather kids talk and get involved)
It is sad that she can't accept you for you.
But she is your dads new thing, sorry wife, I will (if you don't mind) recommend being the better person and keeping the peace. My dad did the same thing. She was around for about 4 years. My sister fought her and him at every turn and put a huge wedge between our father, family and herself. I didn't put up with any crap but also didn't fight the whole way and my dad and I did ok.
Good Luck
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Savvy July 2021
Junine · on September 8, 2019 at 10:50 AM
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Really, she is being ridiculous. This occasion Is supposed to be a Happy and fun time but with all her stipulations doesnt dound like anyone is going to enjoy themselves. I wish you all the best and Hey be your self dont let anyone change you!!!
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Expert June 2020
Kelsi · on September 8, 2019 at 1:11 PM
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Maybe it’s just me but at that point, i’d say “it seems like I’m not welcome into this new family” and save myself time and money and not go. It’s really unfortunate she seems so crazy.
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Master November 2022
Chrysta · on September 8, 2019 at 1:55 PM
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OMG! Wow. Personally, I wouldn’t even respond to her and I would wear what I would to any other wedding.
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Expert October 2019
Aleaj · on September 8, 2019 at 2:02 PM
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Wow!! I got a headache just reading all those rules, she is going to drive herself nuts trying to monitor all those rules! She needs help! Lol
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Expert April 2021
Lisa · on September 8, 2019 at 2:09 PM
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Wow she’s being a bit too much with all those requests. I hope you all can work it out. I would just wear what you planned too and enjoy the night the best you can. If anything have your dad talk to her about her demands.
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Super August 2021
Wendy · on September 8, 2019 at 3:09 PM
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Wow that is crazy!! She is definitely being mental just like many have stated.. I would do whatever u wanted and wear whatever I wanted.. if she doesn’t like it once I’m there then oh well..
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Master January 2021
Andrea · on September 8, 2019 at 7:54 PM
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I am so sorry that you're having to go through this. It's unbelievable and almost outlandish. She's telling you no natural curls and cannot speak Spanish? I am not bilingual, but I feel highly offended for you. How dare she say that! Unreal. I would wear a respectful outfit and disregard all the other rules. You should not have to cover up your tattoos and take your piercings out for anyone. Your dad should be speaking up against this, but if I had to guess, he probably would feel conflicted because he doesn't want to go against his future wife. She seems really callous and prejudice. Even if her family is conservative.. REALLY? This is way too far. I hope everything works out for you, and I'd love to hear about an update come December, after the wedding has taken place. Praying for you and your sis
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Super September 2019
ASMini914 · on September 8, 2019 at 8:03 PM
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This sound so ridiculous, I am sorry. What does she expect you to wear???
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Expert August 2020
Heather · on September 8, 2019 at 9:19 PM
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Um she sounds insane and I’m thinking maybe your dad should reconsider. She sounds totally unreasonable. I would wear whatever I wanted and just behave like a normal guest. Your father should definitely put his foot down.
the only thing I could maybe sympathize is speaking Spanish around her family. My stepmom is Spanish and her and her daughter would speak in Spanish at the dinner table in the middle of conversation in front of my dad, brother and I. I know a little Spanish so I knew they were saying things they didn’t want us to hear. We asked them not to do it at the table when all of us are having a conversation because it’s incredibly rude. Sometimes I don’t think that others who are bilingual realize this when they are in conversation with others who aren’t. I’m sure this is not the case with your family, but that is literally the only thing I could think of, but she is a mental case. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this!
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Devoted August 2021
· on September 8, 2019 at 9:27 PM
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I totally agree with the ladies! I’m a little shocked at the extent of her rule book. At first I thought, just don’t go. Then on second thought I would as immature as it sounds, tick off all the don’ts on her list just to see her face!!
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