Guest attire: How much say does the couple get?

View Quoted Comment I can’t agree more. This is outrageous

View Quoted Comment I feel so bad for you — and your dad!!!!! She seems like a complete crazy lady! And I feel bad when I tell my daughter silly little rules like no snack bc I’m literally cooking informer of you at the moment lol ohhhhh dear- please keep us posted

View Quoted Comment Lol yeah... It usually gets a chuckle...😂

A very few things on her list are right. Do those, because they are commonly accepted etiquette.
Guests and family find out the level of formality of the wedding party, and dress in that way or one step less formal. She has chosen formal/ semi-formal or cocktail ( depending on time of day.) Unlike celebrity glamor or club wear, this means draw a string around the top of bust and underarms, all around. And another about 2-3" above your knees. Everything in between is covered . So tattoos on someone's ribs would never be seen. But lower legs, arms, head, neck and shoulders, it is up to you what is and is not covered. Boots or sneakers, too casual, and stillettos or platforms ( or anything with glitter and rhinestones all over) too glam, are not okay for formal or semi. But regular flats, any heels not high spikes, that are appropriately dressy, are fine. Wear your pier Ed jewelry, but use understated or formal studs or loops. Not skulls dangling from safety pins, but if you want a Ruby nose ring ...go for it. . . . All the rest of the rules are garbage. . . . Someone should tell FMIL ( actually, tell the dad) , that the formality of the ossasion, and the polite behavior expected of guests, always starts with the hostess. Bride can check with Miss Manners or any other social protocol or etiquette person, and be told that the bride does not dictate color or style of clothes, only formality. To do otherwise is RUDE. And brides cannot expect politeness and appropriate formal social manners from guests when the bride herself sets an example of total rudeness . Memos and lists are a business tool. You may convey info about lodgings or plane reservations in a memo. But to write a list of manner of dress, or behavior, for family or guests for a social occasion, shows she herself has no manners or class. Send her a general etiquette book as a gift. Wear formal ( but not tux or black tie) or knee length dressy dresses, or evening or dressy suit or pantsuit like palazzo pants. Shoes of the formality of the dress or suit/ evening pants. And ignore the rest of it.

View Quoted Comment I think that fits the rules perfectly! 😂😂

View Quoted Comment Ikr! I’m thinking of going full Mortica Addams (Christina Ricci’s version) I’ll let y’all know what we settle on.

My husband is excited to figure his outfit

View Quoted Comment We NEEEEEEEEEED pics! That sounds fabulous!

View Quoted Comment For my wedding, I told my sis and my 64 yr old mother not to hide their tattoos if they don't want to. My mom was a tattoo artist and I love the art she put on her own body. My sis has an amazing half sleeve. Hell, even one of the groomsmen (My FSIL's husband) is covered in tattoos. I would NEVER expect them to be anything but themselves.

Would it be horrible to wear the most ugly dress you could find? 😈

View Quoted Comment Yeah this all started with a series of texts when they first picked a date.

She has sent most of these in random texts over the past few months.

I planned to wear a long gown that covered my shoes because I have to wear sneakers of some sort because of my recent spine surgery (flats don’t offer enough cushion and my surgeon and PT want me in supportive shoes for the entire first year post-op).

Hahaha I’ve *totally* thought about gifting her a few books on hosting and wedding planning with some sections highlighted and underlined 🤣

Not much.

The Bridal couple can only provide a type of dress and spread the word as to whether it’s formal, casual, cocktail, dressy casual, business casual, etc...

This cannot be true!!! 😱

Ok, think of what your dad might request and do those out of love & respect for him (a dress that covers tattoos, remove piercings). That way Beotchzilla can’t complain either. If she goes off on you for wearing a prohibited color, boots, or enjoying a drink at the wedding she will look absolutely insane.

I would imagine the clothing and make up rules are for pictures, but as for the drinking, no speaking to others in any language without permission, and other things that require you to curb your heritage or personality...ignore!! She is marrying into your family and vice versa! Both the bride and the groom should accept you for who you are and her family should do the same.

She sounds like a nightmare. I’d wear my long dress with sneakers and call it a day.

View Quoted Comment We weren’t invited to the photo hour, aren’t in the bridal party, won’t be involved in the unity ceremony, and won’t be doing the father-daughter dance (he’s doing it with her two daughters).

Since the rules keep rolling in I’m going to hold off on ordering anything. I want to wear black because I want something I’ll wear again but I was thinking of modifying a gown with lace sleeves and cute all black sneakers

I honestly wouldn’t go. This woman sounds insane, and I don’t think your hatred of her is clouding your judgement. I would talk to your dad and say if she can’t accept you for who you are, then you’re respectfully declining the invite. Absolutely ridiculous.

And props to you for trying to spread acceptance.... those poor brainwashed kids!!!

View Quoted Comment They’re the one of the only reasons I’m maintaining a relationship with that woman and my dad. They’re only 12 and having so many identity issues.

I guess I understand not wearing black since tradotinally it's rude but yellow or green and she didn't even mention white?!? Just break every rule and tell your father that you plan too unless she is going to tone it down. She seems psycho

View Quoted Comment

This!!!! I'm dying over here! I vote for this! ahha

side note: very curious how this all pans out. Whens her wedding?

Strict,conservative is one thing sounding like a crazy psycho bride is another. OMG wear what makes you comfortable although out of respect I would only remove the piercings that can be seen and I would do my best to cover the tattoos.

That is as far as I would go. I would disagree with the people whom have said don't go its your dad you should go and support them but just be open minded and remember that everyone isnt as free spirited and enjoys life like the rest of us.

View Quoted Comment Right ! Sorry but F that. I wouldn’t even want to go at that point.