Mrsbdg
Champion August 2017

Guest attire: How much say does the couple get?

Mrsbdg, on September 6, 2019 at 3:37 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 4 204
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Hey y鈥檃ll!
Well. My dad is getting married in December 馃檮 As planning has gone on his FW has really pushed my sister and I around and I鈥檓 curious if my hatred towards her is tainting my judgement (okay, I鈥檓 bored at work too and her most recent text came through this morning and I鈥檓 still processing)

The wedding doesn鈥檛 have a listed dress code but she鈥檚 been texting us lists of rules even though we haven鈥檛 asked her input at all.

Also we are not in the wedding party or in any way a part of the ceremony.

Her rules thus far:
Wear clothing that covers all tattoos (for me that鈥檚 : forearm, wrist, behind my ear, and upper shoulder) (for my sister that鈥檚 :upper back, ribs and wrist)
Shoulder, chest, back and stomach covered (no mesh)
No suits, pants or jumpsuits
I remove all piercing (nose, septum, rook, and tragus)
No black, grey, red, yellow, or green
No books or sneakers under my dress (and no stilettos for my sister)
Floor length or knee length dresses
Nothing tight or fitted
No natural curls, no heavy makeup, no red or dark lipstick, and no dark nail polish

Other rules are:

We aren鈥檛 to talk to her family without her or my father around.

We aren鈥檛 allowed to drink.

My sister, husband, and I aren鈥檛 to speak Spanish to one another around her family.

A few of these rules I already plan to break: I鈥檓 drinking and speaking to my husband any way I wish. I鈥檓 tempted to just buy whatever dress I want.

Also, yes, we鈥檝e talked to Dad and sent him screenshots and he鈥檚 basically said she鈥檚 a picky bride and that we need to respect our FMIL.

204 Comments

  • Laura
    Rockstar October 2019
    Laura
    • Flag

    I'm sorry but she sounds like a mental case. I think this is an issue for your father to deal with. I see he doesn't seem willing though.

    Normally i'd say it's what the bride wants is what goes, but she's being crazy. I know me and i'd go and wear what I want

    • Reply
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn Online
    • Flag

    This is taking the term bridezilla to a whole new level. I would wear whatever you want and speak however you want to whoever you want. What's she going to do, kick you out?

    • Reply
  • Sara
    Expert June 2020
    Sara
    • Flag

    I don't think I would go.... I am sure that is easy for me to say considering I don't have a relationship with my father... I would just kind of say, "I am afraid I am going to break a rule and I would rather not upset her on her wedding day or be stressed out that i'm not acting or looking appropriate enough for her".

    • Reply
  • earias
    Champion December 2017
    earias
    • Flag

    This is crazy controlling. I would probably break every rule for fun. Also, no books under your dress?

    • Reply
  • Laurinston
    Dedicated September 2019
    Laurinston
    • Flag

    OMG. That's to much. I think that some requests are appropriate since you are family, but she has gone overboard. Might as well wear a burqa.

    • Reply
  • W-K
    Super October 2019
    W-K
    • Flag

    She's being ridiculous. Break every one of those rules and sit in the front row.

    • Reply
  • Brae
    VIP September 2019
    Brae
    • Flag
    Lol I would literally show up in something that breaks every single rule. That may be petty, but that's ridiculous.
    • Reply
  • Lauren
    VIP September 2019
    Lauren
    • Flag

    UGH! Are you in the bridal party past being the groom's daughter? If not then she can take her list and pay for a dress she deems appropriate or she can let you dress yourself like an adult or any other guest at the wedding.

    If I were in this situation I wouldn't go to the wedding. What is left after you apply all those restrictions??? A paper bag?

    • Reply
  • Amber
    Rockstar February 2020
    Amber
    • Flag

    Is this woman insane? Even putting the outrageous attire rules aside, not allowed to talk to her family without her or your father around? What the heck is that? As long as you don't show up in your birthday suit or drop f bombs left and right, I don't see the problem Smiley xd

    • Reply
  • Mrsbdg
    Champion August 2017
    Mrsbdg
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Lol boots my bad.
    • Reply
  • Lauren
    VIP September 2019
    Lauren
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    I would break every rule too! I think she meant boots but I would put books under my dress just to spite her. Smiley xd

    • Reply
  • Kayla
    Dedicated October 2020
    Kayla
    • Flag
    Yikeeeeees bridezilla much?
    • Reply
  • Amber
    Rockstar February 2020
    Amber
    • Flag
    Just realized she didn鈥檛 say no white and floor-length dresses are one of your two "options"... guess you should show up on your wedding dress 馃し馃徎鈥嶁檧锔忦煒 (I kid, I kid) I鈥檓 sorry your future step mom is such a nut case!
    • Reply
  • earias
    Champion December 2017
    earias
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Makes sense, but I like books under the dress better! Smiley tongue

    • Reply
  • Devoted December 2019
    • Flag
    So you can wear orange, purple, blue, or brown? Okay that鈥檚 weird. This woman is NUTS! Assuming you鈥檙e over the age of 18, you do whatever you please! Break ALL the rules!!!! She鈥檚 beyond controlling! Your dad needs to figure this out. She can鈥檛 control you. And if you do the opposite of what she says....what is she going to do? Ground your 馃槀 worst case she tried to kick you out, but how petty would it look to kick out the children of the groom over clothing choices?!
    • Reply
  • Meghan
    Rockstar October 2019
    Meghan
    • Flag

    This is board line insane. I have never seen so many rules in my life. Honestly, you are a grown adult and can do whatever you want. I doubt you would do anything to purposefully disrespect your father, so I don't see why she feels the need to place so many rules on you and your sister. Wear what you want, talk to whoever you want however you want, and drink all the drinks Smiley tongue !

    • Reply
  • Formerbride
    VIP June 2019
    Formerbride
    • Flag
    Doesn't she have enough on her plate without thinking up this list? It's too much. If she is this concerned with your body, attire and behavior she might as well not invite you. 馃し鈥嶁檧锔 I feel bad for you!
    • Reply
  • Mrsbdg
    Champion August 2017
    Mrsbdg
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    I mean that鈥檚 a rule I understand. Her family is very very conservative and very very strict. I accidentally told her daughter it鈥檚 okay to be gay and she freaked out. I鈥檓 not supposed to talk to her children without my dad present so I don鈥檛 鈥渋ndoctrinate鈥 them.
    • Reply
  • Chloe
    Devoted October 2020
    Chloe
    • Flag
    Honestly, I wouldn鈥檛 go. This list is ridiculous, it seems to me that she doesn鈥檛 even want you all there if you can鈥檛 come without hiding every part of yourselves, so I wouldn鈥檛 even bother. I鈥檓 so sorry you have to put up with this!!
    • Reply
  • Nicole
    Devoted September 2019
    Nicole
    • Flag
    I would not even dignify it with a response and then I鈥檇 wear whatever I wanted. Not to be disrespectful or spiteful but treat it like any other wedding you鈥檇 go to. Dress nice and act nice and act like she鈥檚 not loony tunes.
    • Reply

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