Groom's Family Hates Me

@Christine, her issue was that they would want her to NOT work while she was waiting on disability.

Can someone please message ME what the confession was?

NH- this is not being said cruelly..but please stop. All you had to say "wow I can see how that came off wrong.. This is what I meant....sorry ladies" no one is pushing you out, stay and get wedding advice, but the whole "I'll leave so I won't bother anyone" crap is dramatic and doesn't make you look better.

You apologized, mistakes were made.. move on.

Myers is giving you good advice. Don't leave.

@Christine, no prob. : )

@xxxxxx/NotHappening/MaybeNatMaybe, no one here attacked you. I really think you need professional counseling if this hurts you. From your past posts it seems like your self esteem is a bit low. Go get some help. No need to swan off after all the good advice given!

Holy Hell in a Hand Basket - is this what happens when I don't get to be on WW all day? Holy fuck.

Not really sure what is going on anymore.

But I'm always #TeamEmmy

And team #catwedding

And #teamshoepeen?

@Rosemary, I totally love it that you answered the OPs question after this 14-page disaster, ROFLMAO.

Oh gosh, I'm not on #teamshoepeen. It burns my eyes!!!!!

Lol

#DownfallOfSociety

~I seriously can't say or write that enough! Can't stop laughing~

I skimmed this post because, I mean, 14 pages? C'mon.

What's the downfallofsociety one for?

Oh.....working women are the #downfallofsociety

What the.... I had work to do today. I lurked and read a bunch of pages, and still, wtf...

@ Deborah, I kind of get what you're saying if his family is Asian, especially conservative. To be honest there's probably nothing you can do, but be stubborn and continually respectful despite their disrespect for you and maybe in time they will see you eye-to-eye. I would probably (unfortunately) try to minimize interactions with them since it seems to aggravate them. If you're struggling financially are you and your FH able to pick up more work (I know you have some disabilities but even then instead of hiking and organizing birthday parties/welcome events etc....).

@xxxxx Don't leave, unless it's so that you can get some help. Still concerned for you...!

kk, back to work now, peace out WW!

@ Deborah, also my other advice is to try and educate yourself and your husband about finances, and to make smart financial decisions (like not running up bad debt, and not even running up debt with his family for a start). Save some money every pay, even if it's only $2 at first. If either of you gets a raise, immediately put it into paying off debt or saving, don't spend it.

Ohhh that's what xxxx/maybenotmaby/whatever her name was on this thread - said?

Well one downfall is also have a controlling/mama'sboy FH who wants to put a weight clause in a prenup. That would be the big one to me.

Yes, that's the essence of it. Caused an uproar.

So there's some confusion up in here. So let's get some things straight

1. Chronic illness doesn't mean you are sick 24/7 - just more often than not. And I don't care if someone's co-worker has fibromyalgia or what not. Unless you live it you don' t know what you are taking about. Every person is hit differently and every person has good days and bad days of not feeling well.

2. I haven't organized birthday parties or gone hiking in about a YEAR. At that time, my symptoms seemed to have diminished some. And even then it was a 2 mile flat walk around a wooded lake. Not that I need to justify myself to anyone.

3. I AM WORKING! I work three jobs right now! I couldn't work for awhile because of my migraines and back pain. I also had a balloon catheter with the expectation of doing a stent in April.

4. We have come a LONG WAY in our relationship. And he treats me like a saint. When I couldn't work and couldn't get out of bed because of my pain, he made me lunch and left it by my bed every day. He takes me to the doctor's when it's hard to get to by train (we live in the city). He cleans the house and cooks. I bet your men or women are not perfect either so stop saying crappy things about mine. He has told his family to accept that we are together and we are moving away to put more distance between us and his family. Also we see a counselor to talk about the issue and the counselor thinks he needs to "man up" a little. Sure, he does, but he's come a long way and being the oldest son of a conservative Asian family it is much different than what we are used to in American culture. So stop judging.

5. We are having a very low cost wedding. Trying to stay under $5,000. We got my dress for fairly cheap. We have a venue that's only $200 for the ceremony and could even possibly volunteer at our venue for a few weekends to lower the cost. It's at a camp where i grew up. They will also be doing the catering. And most of the decoration are DIY and as my mom runs a card business she will be doing the invitation, programs, save the dates and whatnot.

6. The reason we broke up six years ago is i wouldn't push myself to work. I was in school full-time. Not feeling well (though better than I feel now) and wouldn't work. His family told him that i should drop out of school which ticked me off. It wasn't healthy but we have grown.

And as for disability - it's pretty easy to get when your mom is deaf and it is so cut and dry. But when you are in your early 30s and doctors are still trying to figure everything out it's not so easy. My mother had open heart surgery (her second) and the lawyer told her that she might not be approved right away and she was.

Sounds like you're going in the right direction then.