Getting married before the wedding.

Everyone on here will say yes; I say do what you want. Your friends and family are there to celebrate because they love you. The legal details don't matter.

If you will already be married then you will be having a vow renewal. Why don't you want people to know?

Oh boy. Here we go.

I'm usually in the minority here, but that seems like a LONG time between the actual marriage and the fake one.

Doesn't actively not telling people sound like, uh, lying to you?

Why wouldn't you want to tell people?

I think you need to tell people. I went to a wedding where I was one of the few that knew the couple was already married (for two years) and it felt so forced and fake to me.

My sister did this and when I found out I was pissed. You're having a vow renewal not a wedding.

Whatever your reasons are, that's great. You get to get married whenever you and your fh would like. But the thing is, the day you get married IS your wedding. A courthouse wedding IS a wedding. You need to tell people. Want to know why? People love weddings. They love witnessing people come together as one. Celebrating with all those mushy feelings in the air. They get new outfits, they take time off, they travel, pay for a hotel, and pay for a gift. Because the union of two people is a really special thing. So when you're already married, those people that think they are getting to see that, then somehow find out they aren't (trust me they'll find out) will be pissed. Not only did they spend all this money to find out you were married a year ago. But you lied to them!!

So. It's a vow renewal. Not a wedding.

A lot of people do this... my cousin did it, but it was because her visa was expiring.. so they got married. They didn't announce anything. It was really nobody's business. She was here to attend school. They waited almost two years to plan their wedding after that.. come time for their "wedding" it was great. It turned out beautiful. I only knew they were married because I'm close to my cousin.. it would be considered a vow renewal though... but to each is own.. some people get married for insurance and other reasons and make it a 2.0...

If you don't tell your guests in September that you are already married, that is called lying. Is there a reason you can't wait until then? Seems like a lot of trouble to go through to put on a (fake) wedding and lie to your family and friends for nearly a year.

Are you ashamed of getting married in December? Why WOULDN'T you tell people that you're married?

I'll tell you the same thing I told someone else yesterday.

You're going to get mixed responses on this. Some will say that it's nobody's business and you should do as you please. Others will say that it's rude to your guests to lie by omission by failing to reveal that you're already married because they're usually spending a good deal of money to witness your ceremony.

Why not just tell people you're getting married in December and only host a reception in September and skip the ceremony?

I have friends that eloped and planned to keep it a secret for a year. During that year, they were going to pretend to get engaged and plan a big wedding for what only they knew would be their one year anniversary. They had been dating for just over two weeks. They were not planning to move in together until after their second wedding.

They ended up getting pregnant the night they eloped. While I'm sure a conversation with their parents about wanting to get married after they had only dated for two weeks would have been difficult, I know the conversation they actually had two months after their actual wedding with their family and friends in which they had to tell them they had gotten married, were planning to lie to all of us for a year about it, were pregnant, and were now only telling us about it because they found out they were pregnant was a lot harder.

This is a very specific example of how plans to keep marriage a secret can go terribly wrong. However, when deciding whether you ought to keep it a secret, imagine how your families would feel if someday they learned you had lied to them and let them think they had witnessed your actual marriage. I think being honest about your plan, especially with family, is best. Maybe they'd want to go support you at the courthouse?

Me and my fiance got married at the JP Tuesday and our wedding isnt until March 2017. We arent telling family and friends. We did it for insurance purposes but who cares its all about you! If you dont want to tell then dont! Congrats btw!!

Personally I wouldn't care

Why are you getting married in December if you planned a wedding for September? Not telling people would in fact be lying to your friends and family which is never a good idea

I think the best thing to do is plan to get married at the courthouse in December and then maybe instead of waiting all the way until September? (Your original wedding date) celebrate your wedding by having a reception type party the next weekend or weeks prior? It doesn't make any sense to me to get married and then wait until September to have a "fake" wedding. Because at the end of the day that is what you will be doing.

Marriage licenses are public record. There are some legitimate reasons for getting married early but not telling your guests isn't cool. I'd be really angry if I found out I was witnessing someone's not legally binding nuptials.