Gahhhh! receiving off-registry items: rant/needing advice

View Quoted Comment I agree with you and understand where you're coming from. we don't want kids either. But I'm sure it's a nice piece!

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Families aren't always too happy with that little tidbit, are they? lol

View Quoted Comment I enjoy your implication here that accepting criticism, such as yours, was one of the things I did wrong in my original post.

View Quoted Comment You can only sign a marriage license once. If you have any type of wedding ceremony after that it is a vow renewal because you can’t marry twice. There won’t be a second license.

View Quoted Comment Not at all... But I think it may be sinking in for my mom that my pets are my babies.

View Quoted Comment This. I was about to type out the same thing. The only thing that is actually the wedding is the legal ceremony.

Any "registry" is a suggestion, that's ALL! Maybe your aunt wanted to choose something she thought was more personal or more fitting, or maybe she thought everything on your list was more expensive than what she was comfortable spending, or, maybe, like so many of us on WW, she found your "Disney honeymoon fund" rude/inappropriate. Who knows? But, it doesn't matter, because she's a GUEST and she gets to CHOOSE what (if anything) to give as a gift, and, in polite society, the recipient only says, "Thank you so much! That was so thoughtful! We love it, and, more importantly, we love that you choose it for us!"

And, I'm not even going to comment on the whole "having a real wedding" two years after the fact part.... Yes, based on your post, you sound like an incredibly ungrateful, self-absorbed BRIDEZILLA. Sorry if you think you're being "punished" by "WW trolling"; but you literally asked, "am I being unreasonable here?" You may not like hearing it, but you asked for opinions, and the overwhelming majority are telling you that you are unreasonable.

View Quoted Comment Okay, I think that may be a semantic issue I didn't understand because I've had friends go to the courthouse a few days to a few weeks before the wedding just to get the paperwork out of the way. Then they did vows in front of everyone at that wedding, followed immediately by the reception.

View Quoted Comment So many words! You can have the last one, I’m off to have dinner with my husband. I already ate dinner when I came home from work, but that wasn’t a real dinner because I didn’t get dessert.

View Quoted Comment Technically if they were legally married days before, and signed a marriage license, that was their wedding day, not the day they had a vow renewal and reception.

View Quoted Comment Dessert is necessary, otherwise what's the point in eating?

View Quoted Comment That is my plan. I'm not going to recoil in horror. Most of all, I will be grateful for her presence. Not that this is the audience for this fun fact, but I haven't seen most of my extended family in years. That is the main reason we're having a wedding celebration at all.

Yes you are being very ungracious and trudging into bridezilla territory.
ETA: Just read the comments...you are trudging into already-married-zilla territory.

View Quoted Comment Ha! Good one.

View Quoted Comment Okay. To me, this really is a semantic issue. But I disagree that vow renewal is the right term when we never had vows to begin with. But I take your point! Maybe marriage celebration is appropriate (what you suggested before) rather than wedding?

On the original matter, yes, was being a ____-zilla. That's settled!

I don’t think you understand how weddings typically work. The couple picks up the marriage license days or weeks in advance. At the ceremony, the officiant says words that legally must be said to make the marriage official, and the couple signs the license. That’s the wedding. Picking up your license at the court house is not a wedding. You can get a license, but if you never have the ceremony, you’re not legally married.

View Quoted Comment It doesn’t matter if or what type of vows you said. If you were legally married in a courthouse, signed the marriage license and it was filed with the county/state you had a wedding and are legally married. It might not have been the wedding you envisioned but that was your choice. You can’t redo it you can only have a vow renewal.

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That's good, because in your original post you said you were, "not going to be very graceful as it is about these non-registry gifts, because if you want to know whether I will like a gift, GET SOMETHING FROM THE REGISTRY. Don't try to figure out what OTHER things I might like." I'm glad you've reconsidered on that point.

View Quoted Comment These are weddings where the officiant has no legal bearing... And they haven't brought the paperwork to the wedding. I feel like that's become more and more common.

You do not even know what the gift is...perhaps it is something that she knows you would love, would not purchase for yourself, or something that has special meaning to her. If it is a purchased item you can always return it. Personally I think its Bridezilla move to complain about a gift, from a family member, that you haven't even seen yet. I also think it would be incredibly rude, hateful, and honestly would prevent me from gifting anything if you posted a comment about purchasing something only from the registry if I planned on giving a gift. I do understand the time and effort you put forth in completing the registry but honestly registries are what you would like. It is up to the gift giver to decide if they wish to purchase something you requested or something else. If you only picked one store, have limited items, price points etc, that also gives people pause and then they begin thinking of thinks that they wanted to needed when they got married or what they think you would really like.