Gahhhh! receiving off-registry items: rant/needing advice

You are being a Bridezilla. Just because you create a registry doesn't mean guests have to buy a gift from the registry. Guests are free to buy any gift they want. Actually, gifts aren't even mandatory.

This would frustrate me, too. My grandma has decided to give us a rocking chair (that she told my mom is an heirloom piece for when we have kids even though we’ve made it clear that kinda are very unlikely for us, and also because “we don’t know our taste in furniture yet” even though we’ve been living together??) like of course it’s a nice gesture but I’m kinda left thinking what the heck??

I would be really bummed out if I bought something for someone and they spoke about it like this..

You have definitely crossed over into Bridezilla land. Gifts are the choice of the giver, not the receiver, at all times. If you don't like a gift, you are free to return it, exchange it, re-gift it, donate it or throw it out.

Sorry but you’re totally being a bridezilla, a registery is for ideas. Be grateful you’re receiving gifts as they aren’t required. I had 115 guests RSVP yes to my wedding, and only received about 30 gifts, most being money and off registry items. I was thankful for each and every one of them. I was even more thankful my guests took the time and spent the money to travel to my wedding to celebrate with me.

Life is too short to be angry about getting presents. Be gracious that someone took the time to think of you and buy you a gift and maybe that will make you feel better. I don’t think it’s right to demand people give you specific gifts. At the end of the day no one really has to give you anything. Let it go : )

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As to the last part, I actually say on the page among other things "We have already been married for almost two years, and our house is already filled with all the things we need as a married couple. Your presence at our wedding is the best gift we could receive." So as far as gifts, I completely agree - gifts are not mandatory. My point is, however, if they want to buy something, we'd rather get something on The List.

A gift is a gift and they paid money thinking of you. When you were a kid and didn’t get exactly what you asked for what did your parents say ? Nothing changed from then to now

How dare someone who loves you get you a gift she thinks you'll like!

No, you don't put a note like that on your wedding website or anywhere else. If you're not going to be graceful about non-registry gifts, have your Mom or someone spread the word that people should just not bother getting you anything. You're being very much a bridezilla.

I've been to lots of weddings, looked at lots of registries, and bought on and off the registry. It's a gift. Part of gifting is picking out something you think the receiver will enjoy.

This is your aunt, not a coworker or distant relative who doesn't know your likes/dislikes well. Trust her. And don't get me started on the honeymoon registry.

Edit to add: You've been married for two years?? You shouldn't even have a registry. And the line about "Your presence at our wedding is the best gift we could receive?" You've already had your wedding. If the guests at your upcoming reenactment weren't there, that's a slap across the face and it's obviously not true that their presence at your wedding is the best gift you could receive, since, you know, you're already married.

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What's your thought process in going off-registry, then? Just curious. Also to clarify, I have no idea what my aunt bought.

Oh my god how dare she. Doesn’t she know that YOU are actually the one who gets to dictate how she spends her hard earned money. The gall.

You should send it back to her and request the cash value instead.

Yea, you're treading into the land of Bridezillas.

Don't sweat it. Write a thank you note, and if you want, return the item from whence it came and buy something you like. Though, I'm sure there are some here who say that's also rude. WW is land of "appease the guest no matter what".

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She doesn't know me well. She's related to me, yes, but we rarely see each other. Her best bet would be to buy from the registry.

Also, I'm not really sure what the issue is on these wedding forums with honeymoon registries. We have a gift registry for more traditional attendees, and as others have graciously pointed out, no one has to participate in either registry. We are happy that anyone can attend at all - this wedding is in the Midwest US, not much of a "destination" for most.

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Will definitely write a thank-you note no matter what, absolutely. I guess I mostly just wanted to rant, which is what being a Bridezilla is all about. At least I'm not on national TV saying these things... phew.

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Because, among others, my aunt (lol) and others asked me to, and I know other traditional family members will want one. Again, we stressed on the website that a gift is not necessary. If you have some suggestions on additional website wording to make guests more comfortable with not buying a gift, I'm happy to hear it - I've posted above the wording I already put to make sure guests know their presence is the best present.

ETA: Basically we wanted to have options so that anyone who wanted to give a gift could do so, but if they didn't, that was fine. I'm not saying I REQUIRE gifts! I guess sometimes things come off badly in writing.

View Quoted Comment LOl. Ranting I get. I never understood the type of gal who agrees to go on a show like that. (Doesn't stop me from being entertained from it though. lOl)

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Oh. Got you. Yeah we're having a wedding now because we initially got married in 2015 with only two witnesses for the military benefits (husband's in the Air Force) and now we're inviting our family and friends to celebrate with us, so this is the big expensive shindig and the 2015 "wedding" was the legal one at the courthouse.

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Agreed! Care to answer OP? I'm curious too.

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Short answer (long answer above): never had a real wedding, finally having the family and friend get-together I always dreamed of (husband and I are from all over, and my family "reunions" really only entail meeting up for funerals). So this is the real wedding.

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This... isn't... a vow renewal...? Like I was saying... this is a wedding.

How can it be a vow renewal if we never exchanged vows to begin with?