For those having an adult only wedding

I am having an adult-only wedding and I have it on EVERYTHING that NO CHILDREN, including the website. People act like a wedding is the only adult-only event in town. I bet if these people were going to a club or something they really wanted to go to they'd find a babysitter. So I really could care less if people have a problem with us not wanting kids. If they can't find a babysitter, then oh well....they'll see pictures. Don't even feel guilty about having an adult-only wedding. I love kids but it's our preference.

Why can't these people find a sitter for 1 night??? on the *eye rolling* band wagon.

Wow, that awas seriously rude and passive agressive. When my girls were young, going to a wedding without them was my preference, even when they were invited. Getting dressed up, a night of dancing and an open bar, without my kids was paradise.

We are doing a non-offspring DW. We can only comfortably fit 60 people at our inn. It is "Big CHill" meets "Wild HOgs" kind of weekend. In our crowd, when a "kid" no matter what age, is present our parent button goes on, and everyone is on good behavior. Not fun! Yes, I will be wording my RSVP with the reserved seats wording. I am omitting the kid thing though. That will be on the website. I do have a friend of DW who can't leave their 16 year old and 21 year old home alone who thinks they area going to back door their kids by staying at a different inn. Little do they know, they will not be allowed in the inn at all. The owners are on board with us on this one.

I am with the eye roll. We are having an adult only wedding except the bridal party flower girls, and ring bearers and our kids which is a total of 8 eights kids. Even though its in 2012 the word has spread pretty quick. I am sure we will get a couple of responses like that but oh well.

I am a parent, of a 2 year old going through her very terrible 2's at this time, and believe me, if someone sent me an invitation saying "Adults Only" I would say,"Hallelujah!" knowing I could get a few hours off one night to go see my friend have a fabulous wedding. Maybe that's just me, but every once in awhile you need a bit of a break, and although we've only allowed family to watch our daughter, on the few and far between times we've had a date night or some time to ourselves, I would be on the phone asap looking for one of my sisters schedules for that night lol!

I took my daughter to a wedding last fall of one of my best friends since childhood, and I was a bit anxious about it, wondering how my daughter would act and whether she could become disruptive during the ceremony...and she wasn't, she sat and watched and was very good, but I could completely understand if someone wasn't having a childrens wedding and reception...

(Continued) We are having a wedding for both children and adults because our wedding is more a vow renewal since we are already legally married, and just finally having the big wedding we wanted, but if I didn't have a child myself, and if most of my friends weren't already parents, I would have done the same as you too.

I've been a single parent for 8 years... I'm with Fins... I'll take a night out with adults, hellz to the yeah! I would never be offended if someone told me "Adults only please". I have to figure out a way to tell one couple that their spawn of Satan child is not welcome at my wedding. One child is not welcome to my wedding. How screwed up is that !?!

I understand that some people want kids at their wedding, and some do not. If I was invited to a wedding, sans kids, I would be cool with it, and attend if possible. BUT You didn't clearly state Adult Only. While you did say guests 19 plus and X seats reserved. You should of had it in plain and simple text.

PS Totally not cool of the guest, though.

As a mom I can tell you it is not always easy to find a sitter for one night. And even if it was that easy it still costs so much money. The going rate in my area is $10-12 an hour for a teenage babysitter. So, I'm expected to pay for a gift for you (around $200-250) plus babysitting ($80-100 plus tip), possibly a new outfit (my own expense as its my choice) and any transportation I need if I'm drinking (once again, my own expense). It adds up quickly. More if its an out of town wedding.

I'm not advocating that all weddings should allow children (adults-only weddings are more fun anyway) but I hate hearing things like "how hard is it to have a sitter for one night?". Weddings are expensive for both the hosts AND the guests.

That being said, it was wrong of that guest to write that on the RSVP.

I'm in a dilemna!! I want an adult only wedding, except for the children in the bridal party. But, having said that one cousin's daughter is in the wedding and the son is not (which he is totally out of control), how do you say one kid can come and not the other!! Ugh...I'm a year away from even dealing with this and I'm already stressed out!!

I'm having an adults only wedding and luckily everyone has been understanding about it. it was mostly b/c i have a bunch of breeders in my family too and we would be paying for a whole table just to feed the kids. if people can't come because of that, i understand and i'll miss you....but i don't want to have to worry about your kid running into the cake table or something either.

Well, some will understand, some won't. Kids easily out number adults, and some people just don't want them there, or can't afford to include them.

For us, having the kids there was important, they are a big aspect of our family and we wanted them there.

Don't ler it bother you, whatever your decision is, well, it's your decision and people should respect it either way.

Cavan I want to be your sitter... I never got a tip!! Just kidding I have never hired a sitter luckily I have family who watched my kids when they were little but ur right it adds up its just a matter of importance.. and if I had to pay that kind of money for a sitter I may have had to decline but I would never have been that rude about it. I've also never spent more than $100 on a gift... maybe I'm cheap!!!

@FMS before I printed our invites I read up on invite etiquette. I read that is was considered poor etiquette to write adults only and that left too much to interpretation.

A lot of those etiquette books are old school. Some people also gawk at the idea of RSVP'ing online...

I personally feel like there are too many traditions that are required or expected and I'm just not about that. It's the 21st century and I think "The Rules" should also get updated.

From the other side of the fence...

Not to mention the price of dinner for all the kids, but as a DJ, I regulary have kids running and sliding all over the dance floor. I've had kids tear their clothes sliding on the floor, and crashing into my gear. They like to touch everything, and my gear can be a hazard when touched by little fingers.

If kids have to be there... I would suggest a baby sitter on site in a seperate room for the kids. A video game or a wii set up works great. That solves the problem.

We managed expectations from the start, and let folks with kids know that it was adults only well in advance. We also put the "___ seats are reserved in your honor" wording, but that was mostly because we didn't want random dates there. Also, on the website, we stated:

"Please note that (venue) is licensed as a tavern. As such, all guests must be 21 or over and should bring ID. While children are a joy and a blessing, we will unfortunately be unable to accommodate them at the reception. If you are coming from out of town, please contact Shannon S. for babysitting recommendations."

In other words, have your wedding in a bar. It fixes everything!

JMO, I didn't really expect gifts from anyone, especially not someone already shelling out for a sitter. I think my jaw would have dropped clear to the floor if I'd gotten a check for $200 from someone with little ones at home. Most of our gifts were in the $35-50/person range.

I am having an adult only wedding. Seriously, I would not stress over her response. If that were me, I would feel that they must not really want to be there. If she will not find a babysitter for your wedding day!!!! Than that is on her.

Well I'm not the one getting married, it's my BF's wedding. I'm her Matron of Honor, and her wedding is an adult only wedd, but I didn't get offended because my kids couldn't come. It's actually gonna be much nicer to enjoy the ceremony AND the reception. And I'm sure my husband is gonna appreciate not having to keep up with our 2yr old, lol! I mean, really!? Wouldn't you like to enjoy a nice evening out w/o ur whole clan, lol? I understand it's a family event, but it's not a picnic or a bar-b-q!

Just respect the wishes of the bride/groom....cause they didn't have to extend the invite at all! ------ Kisses