For those having an adult only wedding

First, the best pictures we have from our wedding are the ones with kids in them. They are so damn cute in their little party clothes! Second, you do not need special things to keep kids entertained at a wedding -- it's a party! Kids love it. They love the people, the music, the dancing, all of it. I've never seen a kid not have fun at a wedding. Thirdly, while it is one thing to ask your in-town guests to get a babysitter for a few hours, it is much more difficult for out-of-town guests, especially if they have very young kiddos. The burden on your guests also varies depending on the age of the kids -- a 5 year old can understand that mom and dad are going out and will come back much better than a 1 or 2 year old, who may be distraught at being left with a stranger in a strange place for many hours or even overnight. Similarly, throwing a pizza party at the hotel for a couple of school age kids is one thing -- but a pizza party for a baby or toddler is not really a viable option. Finally, I've seen a lot of "don't write adult only on the invites," rely on word of mouth instead. I don't care if this is considered proper etiquette per Emily Post. I assume that if someone is inviting my husband and I to do something or be somewhere before 8pm, they are inviting my whole family. If you are not inviting all of us, then don't be coy about it and take offense when we didn't get your subliminal messages -- be straight up about the situation and we will figure out what works for us.

Using several factors (pretty much all of which are mentioned in this thread), we decided to have an adults-only wedding and reception. Most of the drama surrounding this decision occurred for me on the front end with my older siblings who have six children between them, even though I had the conversation with them a year in advance of the wedding. (Yes, I did not even invite nieces and nephews: under 18 = not invited. No ring bearers, no flower girls. No kids.) I also followed most of the instructions I found online (did not write "Adults Only" on the invite, and addressed the invite specifically to the adults), and for my reply cards I had ____ accept _____ decline, and _______ number of persons (to help scope out people who were adding guests, as well). We also said something about it on the wedding website, although we've found folks are actually not checking the website, so keep that in mind. So far it's worked well, and for those who might be offended, well, we're prepared to deal with that fallout. It's our day and we're spending many thousands of dollars to put it on (of mostly our own money, I might add), so we're OK doing what we want.