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Mrs. Lauzon
Devoted May 2011

For those having an adult only wedding

Mrs. Lauzon, on March 16, 2011 at 4:18 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 42

I don't want this to turn into a debate if adult only weddings are okay. We're having one cause it makes sense for us.

I sent out our invites a couple weeks ago and I'm having a blast receiving response cards. We didn't write anything on the invite about it being an adult only wedding. We carefully worded the response cards. It says that we have reserved 2 seats in their honour. Then under the part where they accept for decline it says we respectfully request that all attendees are 19yrs of age or older.

Today I received a response that was checked declined and written under she wrote that she would love to attend but she has a 5 yr old.

So my question for you who are having an adult only wedding: have you encountered anything like this yet? I'm not mad just somewhat insulted about the way it was handled.

42 Comments

Latest activity by Jessica, on August 21, 2015 at 1:35 PM
  • Analy aka T-waffle
    Master October 2009
    Analy aka T-waffle ·
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    That was pretty rude, IMO. But, it's a bit "to be expected" from some people. Sometimes, they just can't see getting a sitter for ONE night...*eye roll*. It's your wedding, don't let them ruin it with some bitter response card!

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  • Konichiwa
    Master January 2010
    Konichiwa ·
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    I didn't have an adults only reception but I've heard many brides on here who've struggled with friends and family who don't understand. I'm sure there are exceptions but in my opinion, invitations are sent out several weeks to a couple months in advance. That gives the person PLENTY of time to find childcare.

    Joining Analy with the *eye roll*

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  • ~
    VIP September 2011
    ~Jeff's Angel~ ·
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    We are having an Adults Only wedding - so far everyone seems fine with it (we are both very close to our families and our families are big gossips so word spreads very quickly) we have been leaking out this information in general conversations and so far have not hit any snags - the only thing that came up is my one cousin is pregnant and will have her baby right before the wedding so she did call me to make sure it was ok if she brought the newborn with her (she has two kids 2 and 4 that will be staying home with her in-laws) and I told her that it is fine with us. We love kids and if we could afford having them all there we would but it's just not feasible for us money wise.

    Other then that one question - pretty much everyone else we talk to are already coming up with babysitting plans for their kids and are looking forward to some adult time away Smiley smile

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  • Christine
    Super May 2011
    Christine ·
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    We are also having an adults only with the exception of the bridal party (they are allowed to bring their children). We addressed the envelopes to who was invited (we did not write adults only or anything similar). We just mailed our invites Monday so we don't have any RSVPs yet. FS & I agreed that if anyone included the kids on their RSVP we would call them and explain that we can't accommodate children. So we'll see what happens....

    IMO: That was rude of your guest to write that. If she can't or is not willing to have someone watch her child for one evening so she can attend your wedding, then that is her choice. I hate when people feel the need to make their children your problem. I would be insulted that she wrote that too but try not to worry about it.

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  • C2ShiningC
    Master April 2011
    C2ShiningC ·
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    My aunt was upset because she didn't want to leave her 17 year old, college student, angel of a child home alone for three days. We weren't inviting any of our other aunts or uncles children so we needed to keep things fair, regardless of age. I'll join in the group eye roll.

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  • Ab
    Master October 2011
    Ab ·
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    Ya that was def passive aggressive right there..You have to understand people ARE going to get offended..that's just the way the no child thing goes..should they be offended? nah. they just don't have the empathy to think about practical matters, they'll get over it!

    @Unique, yessss I love your response! so perfect! :-)

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  • Anita
    Super August 2014
    Anita ·
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    I would love to have an adult only wedding but my FH and I have kids and they have to be there if it wasnt for that it would be adult only.

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  • S
    Master February 2011
    Snif ·
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    I agree, I have never been insulted when someone tells me it's an adult only event and quite honestly it's an excuse for me have a night out to myself :-)

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  • Victoria C. Hernandez
    Master July 2011
    Victoria C. Hernandez ·
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    Yeah that was ugly, I'm sorry that happened to you... I purposely did not invite a good friend of mine because I knew she would bring all three of her children regardless of what I put on the invite and while my wedding is not adult only, I have cousins with babies , and while I love her kids to death they are not well behaved EVER... I just didn't want to deal with having her boys in the pond or climbing trees at our venue. I feel bad about it because we have been friends for a number of years but she is one of the ppl who fell under my 6 month rule so it was also justified by that. I would n't let it bother you.. and you may even get more like it, but its your wedding and if you want adult only its your decision.

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  • Jessica
    VIP June 2011
    Jessica ·
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    We are doing adults only except for my soon to be step daughter (who is 7).

    I hope when I have a child I don't end up living in one of these magical place where no babysitters exists and Mom and Dad never get a night to themselves.

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  • A
    Savvy August 2011
    Aida ·
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    Adult only wedding here... This is the second time around for both of us, and we are only having a total group of 60 people...My Fiance comes form a very big family, he is one of 9! So we have had to cut it off at nieces and nephews...Plus all of my family is traveling from cross country, so if we invited all the kids on his camp, it would look like a family reunion on my FI's side...I actually like that it will be adult focused, and therefore give us the opportunity to have a higher end wedding...

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  • M&M
    Expert May 2010
    M&M ·
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    Sorry they did that... RUDE! I had an all adult wedding except for my FG and RB's (Twins.) I got a few replies like that too. I chose not to have children because some of my family can't control their kids and you can't invite some and not all... so what my mother said. Some people with kids made a big deal of it and didn't come... but guess what? I still got married and had a wonderful wedding! ; ) It's YOUR day, don't let anyone spoil it!

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  • Teapot Bride
    VIP October 2014
    Teapot Bride ·
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    We're doing adults only too. So far I haven't heard that anyone has a problem with it, but honestly, it's your wedding and the guests don't get to dictate how you run it. Besides, you can't please everyone.
    I wouldn't worry about the woman with the 5 year old. But if she asks you later how the wedding was, be sure to tell her about all of the adults-only fun you had.

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  • *almost*
    Devoted April 2011
    *almost* ·
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    Not trying to start anything but I think I would write on card that I can't come I wouldn't be offended by your decision. I have kids and if someone feels that I'm unable to watch my kids and watch you then I don't need to be there. Just my opinion but I think kids make parties fun. Just like going to a family outting would you uninvite kids at a family gathering? Just my thoughts on it.

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  • Mrs. Lauzon
    Devoted May 2011
    Mrs. Lauzon ·
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    @*Almost* We're not having an adults only wedding because we feel that the guests can't watch their children. Our reasons are 1)Costs- Both our families are be "breeders" the children out number the adults 2) its a open bar from 4pm-12am (not a place for kids) 3)We want a romantic intimate ceremony.

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  • JulyBride
    Master July 2009
    JulyBride ·
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    LOL @ "breeders". We had adults only, because children would have out numbered adults for us as well. We simply couldn't afford to have them, and the reception was a mix and mingle, grab a drink or three type. We didn't even have dancing, and there was no room for kids to run around. They would have been bored out of their minds! I got some responses like that as well, it annoyed me but I expected it as well.

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  • Jaemi C. fka Jaemi S. :-)
    Master October 2010
    Jaemi C. fka Jaemi S. :-) ·
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    I did not have an adult only reception and I don't have kids, but geezh the nerve! I can see if you are having a (mini)destination wedding or something and can't get the kid a sitter for the whole weekend so you call and ask about finding a babysitter. WTH is wrong with people. I guess they will just be rude. You rock on with your adult only recption.

    LOL at "breeders"

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  • Patricia
    VIP June 2011
    Patricia ·
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    That was pretty rude of your guest, as if she can't find a babysitter for a day, or simply just say "no" w/o adding lib!

    @Christine, I love your explanation & completely agree. We just sent off our invitations today. I added "_ seats have been reserved in your honour" on the RSVP cards and filled in the #, addressed the envelopes to only adults, and on the directions & info card referred them to our wedding website, which on the guest info tab says no kids in a polite way. 1 of my cousins has 10 bratty kids (talk about a breeder), but mercifully lives 6hrs away so I'm hoping he gets the hint or doesn't come.

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  • L
    Dedicated September 2011
    Liz ·
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    I also am having an adult only. I sent out a nice message and didn't hear a peep, but my parents and siblings have heard that people are not coming b/c they can't bring their kids. Oh well. You shouldn't feel bad. It's your wedding and I dont get how people just assume or expect that they should be able to bring their kids.

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  • L
    Dedicated September 2011
    Liz ·
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    BTW, I am going to use your verbiage "we respectfully request that all attendees are 19yrs of age or older" in my invites as well! Smiley smile

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