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Champion August 2017

Fired bridesmaid

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Mrsbdg, on March 20, 2018 at 8:35 AM

Hey all!

This morning my cousin decided to "terminate" me as one of her bridesmaids. I was already sort of pressured into agreeing to be a bridesmaid in the first place because she is a favorite in the family.

Towards the end of the call she mentioned that she would still be "okay" if my DH and I came but that I was "banned" from wearing the $400 BM dress I literally just got 🙄

So:
If you've been "fired" would you still attend (there would be significant family drama for skipping out)?

As a "fired" BM would you go out and get another gown foresaking your recently purchased dress? (It's super simple black sweetheart spaghetti strap full a-line/bordering on ball gown)

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168 Comments

Champion August 2017
Mrsbdg · on March 20, 2018 at 8:53 AM
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She wanted me to "take care" of some rouge hair I have on my upper lips 😣 She said she'd pay for a laser hair removal treatment or a waxing but it's like honestly barely noticeable and I doubt it'll show up in pictures (didn't in my wedding photography). I just thought it was totally out of line to even ask so I said no. She has a summer wedding and with laser the sun irritates the treatment spot and I hate waxing.

I just think that's above what any bride can even ask.
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VIP July 2018
Pegs · on March 20, 2018 at 8:53 AM
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This is me but I would probably not attend. Any way you can return the dress?
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Master May 2018
Forestwed · on March 20, 2018 at 8:54 AM
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“Clean up” your look?! I can’t believe she would say that!!! I would go wearing the dress and have a great time. I wouldn’t let her think it bothered me. Say thanks for having me attend as a guest instead of a bridesmaid, I had such a better time as a guest
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July 1993
WED18 · on March 20, 2018 at 8:54 AM
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If she doesn't like your look, why did she ask you in the first place? What she did is incredibly rude, but I agree that being the bigger person here is in order, especially since it's family.
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Champion August 2017
Mrsbdg · on March 20, 2018 at 8:54 AM
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Tempted to and just label it severance pay
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Expert June 2018
Sally · on March 20, 2018 at 8:55 AM
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"clean up" what? I don't understand I've seen your wedding photos and your beautiful.
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Champion August 2017
Mrsbdg · on March 20, 2018 at 8:56 AM
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Just had my first fitting on Friday so I doubt it.
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Dedicated April 2018
Hawa · on March 20, 2018 at 8:57 AM
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OMG that's horrible!She already chose how you will dress and she would like to control how you look 🤔.
So sorry that you have to go through that. When is the wedding?
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Master June 2016
Sarah · on March 20, 2018 at 9:00 AM
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Ewww. Wtf.
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VIP June 2019
magnolia5 · on March 20, 2018 at 9:01 AM
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Oh my goodness. She sounds toxic.

I try to avoid drama, so I would probably go just for the ceremony and maybe dinner. I wouldn't bring a gift.
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Devoted May 2018
Brenda · on March 20, 2018 at 9:05 AM
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I’m still hung up on a $400 dress. If I had to pay that and then got kicked out of the bridal party I’d be so angry. The fact that she “fired” you because of your appearance is all kinds of wrong too. I wouldn’t go and would definitely not send a gift, maybe a bill though.
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VIP March 2019
Porterpoppin · on March 20, 2018 at 9:06 AM
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I’d probably not want to show up and I would need to be reimbursed my $400 ASAP
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Master August 2017
firstoneat56 · on March 20, 2018 at 9:08 AM
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I’d go to the wedding wearing the dress you bought and this.
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Devoted June 2018
Jessie · on March 20, 2018 at 9:10 AM
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My petty side wants to show up at the wedding and eat free dinner and get free drinks with no gift and be stand offish and then leave early. My “I hare people” side wants to send her a money request for $400 and then not show up and let her be mad.
How rude of her. Smh
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Master July 2018
BoudreauToBe · on March 20, 2018 at 9:11 AM
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I would say definitely skip it. You and DH should treat yourselves to a very fancy dinner on the night of her wedding!!
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Dedicated February 2020
Cheers to you.....???????? · on March 20, 2018 at 9:12 AM
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If you already felt pressured to be in the Wedding it should be a relief to be fired....And honestly i wouldn't attend the wedding either....It's like she planned this entire thing...Then waited until AFTER u purchased the dress...Lolll u must've looked damn good in it.....Dont sweat the smaller things life goes on💋💓💘
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Dedicated November 2018
Dawn84 · on March 20, 2018 at 9:16 AM
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Listen... I would take that gown and turn it into a cocktail dress and dare her to say something. At that price, she is lucky you don't tell the family how inconsiderate she is for telling you at the last minute. And by last minute, I mean after the gown was purchased.

I would definitely attend and rock whatever dress I felt like that isn't white (cause that's the only nice part of me that would be left). I hope this works out for you because I would be upset.
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Dedicated November 2018
Dawn84 · on March 20, 2018 at 9:17 AM
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For the win!!!! Ha! This made my day! *Begins chanting Do it! Do it! Do it!* Ha!
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Dedicated November 2018
Dawn84 · on March 20, 2018 at 9:19 AM
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I'm just seeing this... OMG! I would definitely be there in my altered $400 now cocktail gown and dare her to take time out of her day to address me. I think that is absurd. Family or not. Favored cousin or not. Ridiculous.
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Devoted May 2018
Anna · on March 20, 2018 at 9:19 AM
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I can’t believe you spent $400 on a dress. i’d politely have backed out on that alone- no one should expect that. would you opt for getting the dress cut? if not i’d probably just skip it unless you think you’d regret it later. i think it’d upset her if you showed up in it anyways - but it’d also make you seem petty and will just add more drama for you which personally i avoid. she obviously has some issues so i’d just know that and keep it moving the best you can.
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