Exes invited to wedding/reception?

No ex's !

He did offer to let me read the rest. I chose not to. Im going to marry him. There has to be TRUST. I know my insecurities stem from previous relationships and they having been unfaithful. I am trying so hard to not let it interfere. But he said my jealousy is going to ruin us. But its NOT just jealousy!!! Its insecurity!!!

The only ex invited to my wedding was one of my close friends from high school who I dated for 6 months and is part of a larger group of friends with whom I'm still close with. I asked FH though if he'd be okay with inviting him and if he said no I would have understood and so would have my ex.

Of course, he also came out after college and has a boyfriend now so that may have made FH more okay with inviting him But an ex who says she still loves your FH... ummm yeah no.

Side note why would ANYONE other than you be slow dancing with your husband on your wedding day????

Ummm what? There’s no way in hell I’d invite someone to my wedding that i was pretty sure still had feelings for my FH.

I’m with Brieliz, what led to her messaging him that? There was obviously something said by him that caused her to reply that way. Also, for him to say without his friends, he’d have nothing, that’s hurtful. What about you, or family??

Why is he so adamant about this one ex being invited? Why is he going back on what you both decided to invite her and her son?

It doesn’t seem like jealousy, you’re uncomfortable. That should be his priority. Why THIS ex? Why is it now an absolute that she be invited?

I asked him last night if he’d invited exes, he said not a chance in hell.

Sarah D, I said it may be an age thing only because I'm older and that's been my experience. Of course, not wanting to be friends with an ex doesn't make someone immature. I'm mostly reacting to the posters who can't understand why anyone ever would still be friends with an ex.

No way.

Based on the comments you provided I would not invite them. You are clearly uncomfortable. This isn't something to compromise on "his day" or not. It's BOTH of your day.

No exes!!! Nope. Thank God I'm FH's only!

I wouldn't invite them, personally.

@Ksquared how is this an age thing? I am in my late 30s and feel this is weird. I am not 22.

@OP so he is stating that he wants to 1) invite them and 2) dance with them? Whyyyyy in the fuck this is off to me. Even those saying you are comfortable with exes at your wedding...you don't think it's odd that your future spouse is already demanding and defending getting to dance with those exes as well?!

@Bride2Be2018 he didnt demand to dance with them. But said if they want to dance with him he sees no reason not to.

The reason not to is your comfort level. The issue here is that he's not taking into account your feelings. On your wedding day of all days.

ETA: So if you're willing to comprise and let him invite them, it sounds like he's in turn not willing to compromise by having boundaries such as no dancing with them. Issues are going to come up in your marriage, and if he's always going to get his way regardless of how it makes you feel, you need to think about if that's what you want. I would recommend couples counseling honestly at this point.

I don't think it's a big deal at all to have exes there. We had exes one or both of us is friends with at our wedding.

However, I do think it's a big deal that you're arguing with him about this when your wedding is still 9 months away. Tentatively plan them in the count and decide later if you want to include them or not. He may not even be friends with them anymore by the time you're sending out invites.

I agree with @ stephanie - arguing about this nine months before AND throwing out a rather controlling vibe with "no dancing" - that is troubling. Obviously you are bothered by their presence so there is your answer. If guests can't fully participate in all aspects of your reception don't invite them.

The fact that she's never met them, her FH doesn't talk to them often, nor does he hang out with them, why should they be invited? The fact that one particular ex confessed to STILL having feelings for OP's FH, and he wants to invite her and her son anyway... How is that ok?? It's just very very odd.

Maybe i'm just UO that if i don't see them, nor talk to them, i'm not inviting them, nor will i invite someone that still has feelings for myself or FH.

@bluevelvet, of course she's uncomfortable, his ex confessed to still having feelings for him. I would be bothered by that too, as well as the fact he's so intent on them being invited.

I wouldn't compromise your own feelings for your FH exes. If you feel uncomfortable your FH should be able to respect and accept that. It may take him a while and a few conversations for your FH to internalize what you are saying but I wouldn't give up on trying to communicate your uncomfortableness about the inviting his exes to your day.

You deserve the day of your dreams and you shouldn't settle for anything less .

You need couple's counseling it sounds like. Something is sooooo offffff.

I wouldn't. If it makes you feel uncomfortable in the least bit, that should be your answer. It's YOUR wedding, you shouldn't need to feel uncomfortable because of guests.

Haha one of my ex's is a bridesmaid and I'm inviting another ex and her girlfriend as well. Might be different since we are a same sex couple but there's no jealousy when it comes to exes with us. There are also probably going to be 5-10 people at the wedding that I have slept with in the past as well. My FW doesn't care at all because all of these people I'm good friends with (and so is she) and there is 100% nothing to be jealous of.

Again, I'm sure a large part of this is being queer because women tend to stay friends lots of times with their exes (def not all the time but it's more common than straight relationships). It is all how you are as a couple. Me and my FW were friends for three years before we became a couple so she saw me date other people and knew about my sexual escapades cause we would talk about that stuff. She also trusts me completely and knows there is nothing to worry about whatsoever.