Exes invited to wedding/reception?

I don't turn the water hose on wasps' nests. No.

That is super weird. I don't see the point but yeah it would be a big NO from me.

Is he truly friends with them? Aka, do they hang out? If not, they are not invited.

@Ksquared - I don’t think it’s an age thing. While I’m not in your age range, I have plenty of family members and coworkers who are uncomfortable around their current spouses exes. Uncomfortable AF is a little dramatic but it’s not only a bunch of petty twenty year olds who feel this way. Personally, I think my long term ex is incredibly irritating and I don’t maintain contact with anyone I casually dated or hooked up, except for one person I’ve known since kindergarten and that’s usually a happy birthday note so he wasn’t invited. H maintained contact with one or two friends he casually dated but he stopped regular contact with them when he met me. Not one of them was invited to the wedding. He told me he and his long term ex no longer talked even though their split was more amicable than mine so there was never even a question of inviting her. But honestly, if he did, I would have been annoyed. I’ve never met her, none of her girlfriends were invited, and they dated for longer than I’ve even known H. I really wouldn’t have cared to meet his last serious girlfriend on the day of my wedding. H and I kind of had an awkward, “...I don’t have any exes on my list...” “ya no, neither do I.” And then we giggled and H said he’s never understood when people do that (the exception being if you are raising a child with your ex). The “no dancing” rule is weird. Even if they are invited because you’re all in the same friends group, would H really grab one of his exes at his wedding knowing full well you know they’re his ex? I’d say just don’t invite if you’ve never met them and FH doesn’t really talk to them.

Hard no from me

Nope no exes allowed at my wedding, I am territorial. They are not relevant in our lives.

I went to an exes wedding years ago and attended with my then-boyfriend. My ex and I had been broken up/friends for YEARS at that point though. It was a big wedding and we basically just said congrats to the couple for like a minute, then enjoyed the reception ourselves, so it didn't feel awkward to me. There's so much going on and so many people, I think big weddings don't allow for a lot of time to even acknowledge everyone for long.

I'm also friendly with a couple of my exes, 1 in particular who I dated like 10 years ago. He's out of state though and we are having a smaller wedding, so I don't have to make the awkward decision of whether or not to invite him. So ultimately, I think it's up to you and what you're comfortable with. Jealous or not, if it will put a damper on your day, tell your FH you'd rather they were not invited. If your wedding is big though, consider you really may not even notice they're there.

I feel like it's inappropriate unless you are also friends with them or they are really close friends since breaking up, casual friends doesn't cut it. I could see this being super awkward and the potential to be rude is too great. I'd talk to your fiance about it and see how strongly he feels about having them there weighed against how uncomfortable you are.

Don't invite them. If it makes you the tiniest bit uncomfortable, then don't do it.

I didn't read all of the comments, but from your originally post all I have to say is I'm sorry your FH is not taking into consideration your feelings. If my FH was uncomfortable with someone on the invite list like that, they wouldn't be invited plain and simple. It's called being respectful of your partner. I would simply ask him in a polite manner if he could be respectful of your feelings and leave them off the list.

If you've never met them, i wouldn't invite them. every situation is different--H and i did have a couple of people at our wedding who we'd dated at some point or made out with, haha, but those are things that we've discussed well before getting engaged and are comfortable with and they are people that one or both of us is still good friends with. your wedding day isn't the day to meet people from your FH's past and he should be more respectful of your feelings on this one.

Invited to the wedding?...hell no. Unless you are ALL good friends.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not the jealous type, everyone has a past and an ex or few. The maturity in me can maintain a casual acquaintance relationship with those in my past and I have met and befriended ex's of my SOs (as long as they were not too immature to move on with their own life). In fact, I am still good friends with an ex's ex, haha.

But...they have no place at the wedding...so awkward.

I must add that I invited my ex boyfriend to our wedding. He came, along with his husband of 27 years. The four of us socialize together.

Generally I'd day no exes. However, I think the nature of their relation can be taken into account. If they maybe dated for a month and it was a mutual breakup, then maybe if they are close. But if you aren't friends with the. AND they are his exes then I would say no.

I don't see why it's necessary to be jealous over ex's, and the dancing thing is just weird and controlling.

LOL my fiance and I are joking about who has slept with more of our wedding guests! But we're not in a monogamous relationship, and many of them are mutual friends.

My ex husband is married to DH's ex gf.

We are friends IRL and we went to their wedding and they came to ours. My ex even did the music for us. So...this kind of thing happens and it doesn't have to be weird.

REALLY friends on his relationship with them. If he rarely talks to them, no need. I have gone to my ex's wedding, he was my best friend for many years after we broke up and I was also friends with his roommate. We were just friends even when we were both single. However, 100% understand being nervous or jealous over it. Talk to him and determine if they are truly important enough to invite.

I don't think they should be invited at all, but that's mostly because you haven't met them, and he doesn't hang out with them. Not gonna lie though what I keep picturing is:

Ok let me clarify. He moved by me, which is about 2 hours from where he lived. He use to go out ALL the time. He didnt go out much BEFORE he and i met because he was tired of the bar scene. So after he moved, and since he hadnt been going out often, his relationship with his friends (exes) wasnt as much of a prioirty for either of them. (There are about 3... probably more but not as close) BUT there is ONLY ONE i do not want to attend. Due to her msg to him stating congratulations and that she and her son would always love him and that he 'doesnt have to say it back' and that she is happy for him. that is the only msg he let me read. And i dont need to know the rest of the conversation. But.... there is just SOMETHING i cant put my finger on.... as to why i dont want her invited. I do NOT think she is over him. The rest, my thoughts are.... if you were naked together at any point in time in the last 18 yrs hell NO i do NOT want to see y'all gyrating, grinding or even slow dancing together at OUR wedding reception. Is that my jealous pettyness? Yep. Do I care? Nope. He doesn't see a problem with it. Of course not. He has a penis. What it boils down to is there are only a select few we are having at the wedding and dinner anyway. Very close friends and families and none of them happen to be any exes. We are, however, inviting many different family members and friends the main reception and dance to which i said he could invite whomever so long as I FELT COMFORTABLE. And i agreed to the same. WE had also decided MUTUALLY no kids. Now he wants her to come with her son. I understand he doesnt want to lose his friends. He said he wouldn't have anything left if he didnt have his friends. (Yeah, that one hurt) so im voting for court house wedding with just his BM and my MOH and then dinner after.

Him not showing you the whole conversation is a huge red flag. What does he have to hide?