Exes invited to wedding/reception?

Okay so he doesn't really keep up with his ex's and not exactly friends but wants to invite them (however many) to you guys wedding. Then he doesn't understand why it would be weird for him to dance with these ex's that you've never met!?

Nope.

FH, sweetie, I've never met these women, they aren't close friends and I'd prefer to keep things with them as is. I'd appreciate if you can understand that and not invite them to the wedding.

I'm not understanding why he'd want to invite them, if they're not even close friends? Why does he want to invite them and then dance with them?

Both of my exes (which I have children with) got married this year. I did not attend, did not want to attend and even when there was a question on if I would attend the answer was still NO. My children were there but I didn't need to be. I don't have any issues with their wives..in fact..I've only had one conversation with both of them but I just didn't feel comfortable going. Let's just give people something to talk about! Besides, they probably would've had me sitting at some random table in the back or with the kids lol With that said, I am not sure why his exes want to be there. Your discomfort should be enough for him to not want them them there.

My husbands ex wife and her wife were at the wedding. We are all great friends! I had a couple guys at the wedding that I've hooked up with. Yes the past is in the past so what are you jealous about?? Sorry for the bad picture quality. That's the ex wife next to me :-)

I think it depends how long ago. Is this people he dated in high school? Or literally the relationship before you? If you are not comfortable then you shouldn't invite them.... or invite one of your exes to make things even...

Personally, and this is just me, I think it's important to let people hold on to their friendships. Sometimes friends try to date and just realize it isn't what they wanted (I once dated a close friend of mine because of ongoing pressure from everyone - we broke up a few months later). If they are good friends with him and share mutual feelings of "it wasn't meant to be", then I think they should be invited. People care about their friends, and I can say firsthand that it hurts to be rejected by a friend because their new S/O doesn't trust you. However, if they have continued to flirt with him or showed interest in getting back together, then that's not a healthy situation for you, your FH, or the exes he wants to invite. And in that case I say he would be better off just cutting them off completely. But in general, I care about my friends and the people I've been close to, so it would hurt to not be able to be friends with someone or attend their wedding just because they are my ex.

Of course, I'm not really friends with any of my exes anymore, but that's for a number of reasons, which don't really have anything to do with my point, lol.

Edit: Sorry, I missed the response where you clarified that you've never met them and that he doesn't hang out with him. Yet wants to invite them to his wedding? Yeah, that's a little weird. I would be questioning that for sure. Also, dancing with them?? Like, one on one?? Uhhh...no.

I don't think it's weird as long as he's over those girls. I went to a wedding recently where 4 of the brides ex's were invited. They are all part of the same college friend group. The guys made a few (inappropriate) jokes before the wedding about who's last name she'd take but everyone was happy for the couple. It wasn't really a big deal. We're adults and no one was jealous or made a scene.

Yeah, this is super weird. Is he trying to make them jealous??

I understand they are his friends. Honestly, it's rude to "tier" them in that they only get to come to the reception. They come to the whole thing or not at all. What is the purpose of the no dancing rule? Do you enforce this rule when you go out as friends? I'm just confused if they are his friends now why do you treat them so differently? Do they still flirt with him?

MrsBdeG, she's never met any of them, he doesn't really talk to any of them, and doesn't hang out with them. I think we're all just confused on why he feels they need to be invited if he's hardly friends with them.

I think that the only way it would be okay if he's friends with them because of a mutual friends group or like some other posters mentioned possibly dating when super young like in highschool that was short lived.

@HB Whaaa? Why waste money on people you don't talk to or hang out with?!

Umm if he occasionally talks to them and you've never met them they shouldn't be coming. And if he doesn't understand why you're uncomfortable with them coming and the possibility of him dancing with them then he obviously isn't thinking about you at all. Which is super concerning to me. Definitely have a very lengthy and in depth talk with him about this.

Amy sorry the thread got derailed with all happy stories, but I would think that's weird. This is coming from someone who really gets along well with my ex-husbands wife.

I'm still very good friends with a couple ex's. They would be invited if we lived closer.

FH's ex is actually a good friend of mine. He would love it if she DIDN'T come but he gets that I want her there so will put up with her "annoyingness". Plus she's part of our friend group.

I think it all depends on the relationships.

I mean that would majorly piss me off if I were in your position unless these exes are people you are close friends with. (Clearly, that doesn't seem to be the case) It doesn't make any sense at all, and you should really put your foot down. Also, it's incredibly rude to invite people for just the reception, so I'd strongly advise against that.

I think this is strange. I don't care if you are friends with your ex or not, they will not attend my wedding.

Meh, maybe it's an age thing but an ex at a wedding wouldn't really be awkward AF to me. I dated a friend and then we realized after a few months we were better as friends. He went to my wedding. However, my husband knows him and we've all hung out together. You've never met these women and your fh doesn't hang out with them now so why does he want them at his wedding? ETA: I say the being uncomfortable AF around exes may be an age thing because my friends in their 40s and up don't really have a problem with exes and friendship.

Exes are a no go. Even if they are on amiable terms. Your wedding is about celebrating your love. Not a block party to run into old flames

This would simply be a no-go for me.