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Just Said Yes August 2018

Exes invited to wedding/reception?

Amy, on December 11, 2017 at 7:02 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 119
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My FH is still friends with some of his ex girlfriends. He wants to invite them. We compromised they could come to reception only and he couldn't dance with them. I am still not happy about it but they are his friends. What would you guys do in this situation? Am i just being a territorial jealous bitch? Cuz i feel the past should be left in the past. Not be there the day he and join our lives together.

119 Comments

Latest activity by Diana , on November 27, 2018 at 4:43 PM
  • King'sBride
    Dedicated September 2018
    King'sBride ·
    • Flag

    Are you also friends with his exes? Also how long ago since they dated? Personally I wouldn't care if it was my Fh's ex whom he dated when he was 14. However, I def wouldnt invite his exes that he dated right before me.

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  • A. L.
    Master July 2017
    A. L. ·
    • Flag

    Good lord, no. They do not get to come to your wedding, if you are AT ALL uncomfortable. Your wedding should be the one day of your life where everyone that you love, and only those people you love (unless they are blood relation or something, and even then, not so much) get to spend the day with you.

    • Reply
  • Celia Milton
    Celia Milton ·
    • Flag

    Too many rules. Don't invite them.

    • Reply
  • FutureMrsKC
    Master January 2019
    FutureMrsKC ·
    • Flag

    If it makes you that uncomfortable you should talk to him more about it. If you think the past should be left in the past then I don't see a problem with them being there and I don't see it being a problem for you. I'm not friends with any of my exs so I'm not sure how'd I'd feel but my FH is good friends with all of his high school friends though and if one of them were an ex and invited to the wedding I wouldn't mind. It's your wedding. He's marrying you. If anything it should be awkward for them to come, not for you. Don't be jealous, be mature and explain your feelings to you FH.

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  • Jessica
    Devoted December 2017
    Jessica ·
    • Flag

    I literally don't understand what makes people invite ex's to weddings. Even if there's no secretly harbored feelings, it's awkward AF. Unless he has children with these people and the plan is the three of you become close co-parents, don't invite the ex at all

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  • AbeFroman
    Devoted October 2018
    AbeFroman ·
    • Flag

    If How I Met Your Mother taught me anything, it's this: never invite an ex to your wedding.

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  • Light Haired Girl
    Expert February 2018
    Light Haired Girl ·
    • Flag

    I'm with @amanda

    I think its unhealthy to be unreasonably jealous over exes. As far as being able to be friends with some of mine, sure I have them. Would I invite them to my wedding? Probably not.

    I mean honestly, if FH asked me if we could invite one of his exes I'd probably be okay with it depending on the circumstance. I mean.. like.. I won the guy and got the ring so who cares.

    • Reply
  • C
    Just Said Yes October 2018
    Christine ·
    • Flag

    I feel the same way you do about the past being left in the past. Don't think you're being a bitch at all, it's normal to feel territorial where exes are concerned. If I had to put myself in this situation I would probably do my best to ignore that they are there and just focus on the fact that it's your day.

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  • A
    Just Said Yes August 2018
    Amy ·
    • Flag

    I have never met any of his exes. He doesnt hang out with them. And talks to them occasionally. I dont think I'm jealous, but, I just dont want his ex girl friends there.

    • Reply
  • Katie
    Expert July 2018
    Katie ·
    • Flag

    I personally wouldn't

    Having to lay down the rule of him not dancing with them I find to be bizarre. Even if my FH's exes were invited, I can't imagine that he, I, or they would find that appropriate.

    • Reply
  • Kiwibride
    Super November 2018
    Kiwibride ·
    • Flag

    I don't really get this. So it's okay for him to be friends with his exes day-to-day but not at a wedding? What makes the relationship change for that one day? Either you're okay with him spending time with these people or you're not, and if you're not okay with him remaining close friends with them then that should be the issue, not just for the wedding.

    Regardless, you either invite them to all or nothing. You can't invite them to just the reception.

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  • King'sBride
    Dedicated September 2018
    King'sBride ·
    • Flag

    @Kiwibride the op stated that he doesnt hang out with them. By your logic, why should that change n he invites them to her wedding? If they don't hangout then I wouldnt count them at his close friends imo. I wouldn't because I wouldn't want to be meeting my new husbands exes on my wedding day.

    • Reply
  • Going to the chapel
    Master July 2017
    Going to the chapel ·
    • Flag

    He isn't really friends with them and only talks with the occasionally? Is he trying to show off for them?

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  • Kiwibride
    Super November 2018
    Kiwibride ·
    • Flag

    @King'sBride yeah that wasn't there when I opened the thread. This is why I should always remember to refresh before I post :/

    That's a completely different idea to the initial post. If they're not close friends then they shouldn't be invited regardless of their past relationship, but does her FH consider them close friends? I rarely see some of my best friends but that doesn't mean we're not close. Is OP okay with him talking to them and being friends with them?

    • Reply
  • Rosered
    Devoted January 2019
    Rosered ·
    • Flag

    I think the only thing that matters is that you are uncomfortable with it. He should respect that and not invite her. It doesn't matter whether other people would be fine with it or not.

    • Reply
  • ambrok
    Master October 2017
    ambrok ·
    • Flag

    'I have never met any of his exes. He doesnt hang out with them. And talks to them occasionally.'

    Personally, if I never met any of them as a bride...I'd have an issue with that too. This is a day where both you n FH should feel comfortable. Also, if he only talks to them occasionally...WHY does he even want to invite them?!?

    I think it would be different if there all hung out in a group with some of the group would be invited; but none of the exes...but this doesn't seem to be the case.

    • Reply
  • Lex
    VIP September 2019
    Lex ·
    • Flag

    If you're uncomfortable I would definitely not invite them.

    The only reason one of my exes is invited is because we're both good friends with him.

    • Reply
  • Heather
    Expert March 2018
    Heather ·
    • Flag

    Umm .. He wants them there thats odd i would say no way to this

    • Reply
  • Bride2Be2018
    VIP January 2018
    Bride2Be2018 ·
    • Flag

    No way...I would not be OK with inviting either of our exes. They are a part of our past and they need to stay that way. Furthermore, I would feel awkward AF if one of my exes invited me to their wedding. Weeiirrddd.

    ETA: Exception to this rule is if an ex is dating another friend that would be invited to the wedding. That's about the only scenario I see there being a reason for this.

    • Reply
  • Vanessasaurus
    VIP June 2019
    Vanessasaurus ·
    • Flag

    I can't even imagine having enough room in my guest list to even consider including either of our exes. We're like flipping coins limiting the number of friends as is! I'm team #noexes

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