Etiquette rules: new users read and comment

Mrs.E, I actually addressed her other points. We do support eachother, but we don't provide blind validation. Bad ideas are not endorsed here, this site is not made up of "yes men/women." Eta: To further address @Life's comments, you mentioned that if a couple is in recovery they may not feel comfortable providing alcohol. If you had fully read the initial post, that exact point was mentioned and already included as an exception to the rule (along with cultural considerations).

"Your plan for a dry wedding is tacky and will probably offend some of your guests"

If ONLY people on here were actually like that. It's more like "this is disgusting and I can't believe anyone would ever do that" or "If you're going to do that then you might as well elope". The reason why so many people have been leaving WW recently is because of commenters who preach etiquette but are actually being snarky!

Now THAT should be added to this list of "etiquette rules": Make an effort to express your opinion without making others feel bad.

@OG I said nothing about CG's, I was giving advice to the community. Exactly like the OP with her list of "rules" that also aren't related to the CG's...

@Beach....there WAS a post within these post's of someone advising the sober couple she should not limit the alcohol just because they were recovering. But as well that was just an example that you have to take everyone's advice with a grain of salt and then make YOUR own decision. Please stop trying to pick me a part for trying to vote for kindness. That's all I wanted to say in the end everyone enjoy your day.

Im not trying to pick you apart. Most people on this site do not sugar coat things, which may not be your approach and that is fine. People offer advice with varying levels of bluntness. No one here is going to ask you to be more blunt, just like most users likely wont stop being blunt. I have also seen plenty of kindness on here.

@OGA is right. How would you prefer people phrase it instead? "Your less than perfect idea that will probably offend your closest friends and family?" Bad ideas are bad ideas. It's not condescending to call them what they are.

ETA: @LIMTBF- my mom talked me down from some ridiculous ideas in my early, overly-excited stage. She honestly said, "That is a bad/rude idea." I wasn't offended or upset. Sometimes people need a reality check.

You do not have to agree with someone's idea and of course you can say that. However it is all in the presentation. It's ironic how people arguing about "Etiquette" cannot grasp that.

@OG...But as per your previous post it does have something to do with being rude and how to treat people....which a lot of people on here have a problem with. Telling someone THEY are being rude.....in a rude and disrespectful way....yea okay

I agree Stefanie Marieex, I feel like instead of help this sounds like pple are more worried about others decisions. There's nothing wrong with any of this, it's their wedding and maybe some have all the upgraded things. It's a waste to exchange.

Telling someone what is rude in whatever way you want and not caring if it offends...ummmm...and by someone...you mean a large enough group of people that this has become an issue. As you see I dont have stars because I dont post. But seeing how bad it has gotten made me feel the need to speak up. Times me by a demographic. It is not okay to be mean. Especially when you are trying to give advice on being proper.

Who is talking about validation? What is the miscommunication?Please...PLEASE tell me where in ANY of my posts did I refer to that being necessary. This is becoming laughable. Beating the term "validation" to a bloody pulp when I never once made any reference to it. If you knew my background you wouldn't be talking to me about rainbows and sunshine lol. However some of y'all talk to people on here in a manner you would NEVER if that person was sitting across the table from you. I'm done here though. Have a great day and happy posting!

Who are y'all to tell people what they should do and shouldn't do?? Like y'all contributing something. Who cares about what people think is rude or tacky. You gonna have people that's gonna say your food was nasty, your hair, dress,shoes was ugly, you didn't have enough flower or had to many, you was to fat/small for your dress, your face and makeup was ugly. It's was gonna be talk so why even care about what people have to say about what you see that was best for your day. It's don't make you classic or less classic for what you think is the best choice for you. It's okay to say what YOU wouldn't do but to tell other what they shouldn't do is tacky!!

In my time on WW I have seen the community embrace all types of marriages, individuals, weddings, situations....what I have never seen it embrace is poor etiquette and whining. If you have a question on wedding etiquette and don't like the answers you are getting here, buy a wedding etiquette book.

@OG please don't act like you know me. I said SOME of you...however if the shoe fits I suppose.

Tarnesha- If you don't care if you're being rude to your guests or doing tacky things at your wedding then that's on you. Go ahead, and have fun with your bad ideas. I personally don't care what people think about me, but I refuse to be a terrible host to those that I love and care about the most. No one is going to stop you if you decide to continue with rude or tacky ideas, we are just trying to help.

This is merely passing on wedding etiquette that has been established for many, many years because several people on here haven't researched wedding etiquette themselves and have no idea. Whether you choose to follow it or not is on you, but at least you've seen it to know. I personally think it would be rude to just let people go on trying to host their guests poorly without saying anything to try to help them.

Here is an excellent example of why so many new(er) users get offended:

New User: "I've never lurked before and I haven't taken the time to read the New User sticky, but I want to do xyz!"

Forum: "We highly recommend lurking for a while and reading the New User sticky. Your idea of xyz is against etiquette."

New User: "But I still want to do xyz, because my situation is different and you don't know me."

Forum: "We will further explain why xyz is a bad idea. Please heed our advice."

New User: "No. I want to argue why my idea is good and my situation is different."

Forum: "You're situation isn't all that different. Try to listen to us. Your are getting defensive and not listening to our explanations."

New User: "You all are rude and mean and should just not comment on my post if you don't like it."

Forum: "You have violated some Community Guidelines and are now pissing us off because you are making personal attacks."

New User: "I am going to make a new thread to say how mean everyone is and how much this forum sucks."

The *only* reason I have ever seen a member get overly snarky or sassy at the very beginning of a thread is because the new(er) user is asking something that is a "hot topic" or has been asked and answered so may times. This is why lurking and using the search feature (if you are on desktop) are so important.

ETA: Also, people come on here *voluntarily* and put their business out there. If you don't want honest answers, stick to FB wedding groups and your family. They'll blow smoke up your ass all day to make you happy.

@Mariah I'm pretty sure you do care what people think about you. We all know we can't please everybody as well as what you think is bad someone else see it as good!! So that's that!!!

Also Tarnesha, excessive exclamation points equate to yelling. There's no need to yell your opinion. It doesn't help.

Bump!

Me? Offended because members choose to not listen to advice given even when there are excellent examples given? I don't think so. I just try to help out members who are looking for advice.

And if you thought that my comment was directed at you, you are seriously mistaken. Don't take things so personal.