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Master July 2026

Etiquette rules: new users read and comment

Beatrice, on January 9, 2017 at 11:01 AM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 185

Why a Honeyfund is rude: -you're asking people for money -the website takes a percentage -people can't afford a vacation so why should they pay for yours -it's tacky -poems don't make it cute Asking for cash: -it's tacky and rude -guests know how to buy gifts -just don't make a registry -you can...

Why a Honeyfund is rude:

-you're asking people for money

-the website takes a percentage

-people can't afford a vacation so why should they pay for yours

-it's tacky

-poems don't make it cute

Asking for cash:

-it's tacky and rude

-guests know how to buy gifts

-just don't make a registry

-you can always upgrade something

-living together doesn't equate to not needing up upgrades

-why should someone give you cash

-if you're trying to save money by collecting others, reevaluate why your wedding is so expensive

-have the wedding you can afford.

-poems don't make it cute

Self catering

-botulism

-glitter covered slaves

-botulism

-potlucks are gross

-health risks

-stress

Dry/cash bar (only okay with AA or religion)

-not everyone is an alcoholic

-supply or beware of drunk drivers from bootleg

-thank your guests don't punish them

Friendors:

No one wants to work

They aren't qualified.

No one cares as much as you do

185 Comments

  • Jacks
    Champion November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    Bump

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  • StefanieMarieex
    Savvy April 2018
    StefanieMarieex ·
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    Why does it bother so much what other people do lol. I don't get why this is a hot topic. People will or won't do it, and it is what it is.

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  • Esther
    Dedicated October 2018
    Esther ·
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    Why is making a registry bad exactly? As a guest I've always found it very useful. Also, many of my personal friends are photographers so would it be bad to ask them to take our photos? They seemed so willing to do so after we got engaged without us even asking.

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  • FutureMrsFrench
    Expert November 2017
    FutureMrsFrench ·
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    Bump!

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  • JMA
    VIP August 2017
    JMA ·
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    @Esther Many people, including myself, wouldn't recommend using friends as your wedding vendors. There are so many things that can go wrong. On the off chance they don't do a good job or an issue arises it's completely awkward. There are many many horror stories on here of friendships ending and other things that have gone wrong. I'm sure someone else could explain it better though. Smiley smile

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  • Esther
    Dedicated October 2018
    Esther ·
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    @JMA oh okSmiley smile I guess it would be super awkward if my friends took terrible photos for some reason. I could never tell them they did! Haha. I just had to ask. This is my first time on the site. I have no idea about etiquette^_^

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  • L
    Just Said Yes January 2017
    Lizbeth ·
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    I agree with you StefanieMarieex.. I only had this app because of the countdown but I'm bored at this moment and decided to scroll around the forum and didn't realize people make such a big deal of other people's decision of their Own wedding... lol

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  • Jacks
    Champion November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    Lizbeth, people aren't making a big deal. Just pointing out simple etiquette, that's all.

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  • Mrs. E
    Dedicated November 2017
    Mrs. E ·
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    Etiquette "Rules" needs to be changed to Etiquette "ADVICE". Who really decides what is proper etiquette? How is one deemed qualified to set these WW laws of wedding land? Listen to suggestions and criticism (especially if you asked for it) but at the end of the day you should do whatever YOU want to do. You know your guests better than ANYONE here.

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  • Life is meant to be fun
    Savvy October 2017
    Life is meant to be fun ·
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    I agree, I have had a long engagement and was on this site in 2014 and it was not like this. People are going out of their way to voice there opinion's in a way that is intended to be harsh and making it as if their opinion is the absolute only correct answer. The brides can ask for opinions but in the end she knows her guests best, her culture, her norm, her location, etc to make the best decision in the end. That doesn't mean your information was not considered, valuable or important to that decision making . Voice your opinion and then let the bride decide what's best for her and her situation. A recovering couple that is now sober should not be made to feel like they have to have alcohol at their wedding. It IS their wedding. It IS their party. Alcohol doesn't hold the same value to everyone. That's like saying I love meatloaf and so everyone must serve meatloaf to host their guests properly to have a good time. The guest is to witness your vows and celebrate WITH you. How you celebrate is up to you, it is your party. If you pick your invite list correctly, your guests will get you and how you celebrate. You will never please every single guest at every single moment. Try your best to provide what you think is an awesome celebration and reflection of you and your partner and BE HAPPY. No matter how traditional or non traditional your idea of celebrating is. It is a reflection of you and your partner and your way of showing that love to your guests. Do it the best way that fits you. It is not double rings against the vets. If you've been on this site long enough of course there will be repeat's of the same questions over and over and over and over again because each time a girl says yes it's new to her. It is not for you to get upset about or take it out on her for posting the same questions, also answers do change over time so it is always good to hear new thoughts on a topic by new people. If that were the case back in 2014 when I was on all the questions that were asked then should never be asked again and all the answers from back then would be the spoken word, never to be reconsidered again and most of the 'vets' that asked that same question again themselves in 2016 would be treated poorly. If you've answered the same question already a million times, say I will let someone else answer this one rather than you answer without the excitement and willingness to share your experience this new bride deserves. Why the frustration...be happy for all these new brides to be. Let's build people up not tear them down. We are here because we all share something in common. We are here because we don't want to feel alone at this process. We are here because of a great love and exciting time in our life. We want to share that with each other.

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  • A
    Beginner November 2017
    Alex ·
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    This original post is completely insane. "Tacky" means different things to different people. You shouldn't care what some random person on the internet thinks your wedding will look like.

    This kind of groupthink establishing what is and is not acceptable is profoundly stupid.

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  • Life is meant to be fun
    Savvy October 2017
    Life is meant to be fun ·
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    Support group definition: "group of people with common experiences or concerns who provide each other with encouragement, comfort, and advice."

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  • BeachDreams
    Master May 2017
    BeachDreams ·
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    @Life, why do you think this was set up to a be a support group? There is literally a section on the forums dedicated to etiquette. It may not be a support group, but users sure do turn out to support other users going through losses, health issues, relationship difficulties etc. But people will also be honest, if they think your idea is bad they will tell you. Even actual support groups dont blindly validate bad ideas!!!!!

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  • Mrs. E
    Dedicated November 2017
    Mrs. E ·
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    @OG.... etiquette defined by whom though?

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  • fallinthegarden
    Master October 2017
    fallinthegarden ·
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    There is plenty of encouragement, comfort, and advice here.

    "Your plan for a dry wedding is tacky and will probably offend some of your guests" is advice.

    "OMG it's YOUR day, do what YOU want" is validation, not advice.

    Advice you don't like is still advice. Saying an idea is bad or tacky is not bullying.

    And for those of you asking "who comes up with these etiquette rules?" There are books and websites full of wedding etiquette. The vets don't just arbitrarily make it up.

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  • Life is meant to be fun
    Savvy October 2017
    Life is meant to be fun ·
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    @Beachdreams...lol I never said I thought it was set up to be a support group, someone else said it was NOT a support group, after my comment basically saying let's be nice to one another. So I simply was advising that this is set up more to be a support group than what it has turned out to be. And by what it has turned out to be is people being rude. Yes it is good to get opinion's from multiple pepole to help you make YOUR decision. But no one should be meant to feel bad about it. The way people are expressing their opinions is the problem we are expressing.

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  • BeachDreams
    Master May 2017
    BeachDreams ·
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    "Lol I never said I thought it was set up to be a support group" ((a few lines later)) "I simply was advising that this is set up more to be a support group than what it has turned out to be" What? You are contradicting yourself.

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  • Life is meant to be fun
    Savvy October 2017
    Life is meant to be fun ·
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    That is and has always been my orignal wording.

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  • Mrs. E
    Dedicated November 2017
    Mrs. E ·
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    @Life..don't waste your time. @Beach is not trying to have a real conversation with you. If she was. She would not have ignored all the valid points you are making that could have been discussed to nitpick at such a small portion.

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  • Life is meant to be fun
    Savvy October 2017
    Life is meant to be fun ·
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    @Mrs. E, I agree. Thank you, I will leave it alone.

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