Dress code... Is it tacky?

.

@Emily, thanks for your input and I see where you're coming from, but again, I disagree. You are right about one thing, though- I do want my wedding to be fancy, because it's my wedding and I only get to have 1 wedding, so I am going to have it the way I want. What is so wrong with that? Nothing in my book. And again, I don't think anyone has the right to try to dictate how someone else should plan a wedding that isn't their own. I am really excited for my wedding and so are my guests (none of them are concerned about the dress code because they now know what it is, and if you read my previous post I said many of them asked about wearing tuxes in the beginning anyway, I know this because they are my guests, how would anyone else know their feelings on the subject?). But thanks for calling me out for stating that people should be able to have the wedding they want without other people being rude about the choices they make. I'm sure your wedding will be exactly what you want and i'm not going to ridicule you for it the decisions you've made to make it that way; I think it's awesome that you will end up with what you want. Congratulations on your engagement!

Edit: Also, telling someone their wedding won't live up to a sort of "standard" is just plain rude, not to mention the only standard I have for my wedding, as should everyone else, is the standard of what my fiancé and I want.

@Amy & Dan i wish I could like your last post x100, keeping it classy

Amy&Dan - No one said you couldn't have a fancy wedding. You are missing the point. There are many fancy weddings in this world where the hosts do not put "black tie optional" on an invitation. Guests still dress in nice suits and cocktail dresses. Your wedding is either black tie or it isn't. Stop being wishy washy.

And NO, the "wedding that I want" does NOT equal black tie. There is an *actual* standard that exists for those types of events. Go back earlier in the thread where Centerpiece Flowers explains it. It has nothing to do with what you *want*. That's all. I'm done.

You can have a fancy wedding; just invite guests that are fancy. I'd rent some if you don't have enough in your family.

I did a wedding a few years ago; the father of the bride and the bride had had some rough patches, basically because he'd had a troubled life. She invited him to the wedding, ( a 'fancy' one in one of our more upscale venues), and they even made peace and he walked her up the aisle. "Fancy" for him meant a brand new pair of Timberlands, a pair of neat jeans and a Grateful Dead tie." I don't think he could have been prouder walking her up the aisle; it makes me tear up a little thinking about it actually.

You either take your guests 'as is' or don't invite the people you suspect will dress inappropriately. I think they'll be relieved.

.

This.

As long as they didn't show up in a poofy white floor length dress idc. Who cares what their guests wear?

So, basically, the moral of the story here is: dictate attire on your invitation, reception card, website, via word of mouth, or not at all. It's up to you because it's your wedding and no matter what you decide everyone has an opinion, so while some will love it, some will hate it. The end.

The type of person who would show up in jeans and flip flops is the type of person who doesn't read the reception card or go on the wedding website.

Also this:

No, that's not the moral of the story.

No, I do not think it is tacky to inform your guest what attire would be appropriate.

http://www.lovevsdesign.com/stationery-etiquette/wedding-guide/invitation-wording/wedding-attire-wording

LOL @ Amy&Dan's attempt at the moral of the story. That's funny.

When I was getting my invitations designed, she told me she sees it printed some where in the invitation, whether it's on the actual invitation or on an enclosure almost 90 percent of the time. She also told me to consider the season. As in, if it takes place in a transitional month where you can get away with a summer dress with spaghetti straps but what you're really looking for is something a little more modest and covered (ie. Septemeber), then definitely put it. She gave me a bunch of different wordings and told her which one I liked best. She also instructed me to consider religions, which I hadn't thought of but was important since DH's family is Jehovah's. This is also important for Catholic weddings as well.

If I find it, OP, I'll send them to you.

That's a terrible moral of the story.

So what IS the moral of the story, guys? I have to know!

What's the 'ACTUAL moral of the story'?

Erin C.'s last comment is perfect.

Erin be like