Dress code... Is it tacky?

I really don't get the point of "black tie optional" though. If I have the choice of wearing a fancy gown or not, I always go with not.

You can't force an adult to dress a certain way. And in some lifestyles, there is NOTHING wrong with jeans for a wedding.

I too also await the "real" moral

Well...I have talked to most of my guests/family and no one is against dressing up, so I'm all good!My wedding is going to be semi-formal to formal, and everyone wants an excuse to dress up!! Some of them haven't gotten gussied up since prom, so it'll be fun! Seriously if this wasn't my wedding, I would turn it into a masquerade ball or something but...alas maybe that can be a New Years party idea.

@Erin, that was a good one! Nice work. I love how this thread started as someone wanting people's opinions and while a ton of us are giving ours, there are some who are stating their opinion as fact and then trying to force it upon everyone. Gotta love adult convos lol. My advice is simple: do what you want for your wedding because it's your wedding and no one has the right to make you feel bad for what you are doing. We are supposed to be cheering each other on during this hectic planing process, not being catty (See what I did there, @Snarky? lol). ANYWAY, like i said what feels like a million comments ago, congratulations on your engagements everyone! Hope you get the wedding you want!

The moral of the story is:

@HeavenlyBride -- that's what I did. I asked as many people as I could and got a barameter of what people were feeling and everyone was really excited to get their hair and make up done or wear a tux they had tucked away in the back of their closet and hadn't worn in years.

And everyone looked awesome!

@amy you know this is an internet forum not a cheering squad right? You will get honest opinions here.

@miss to mrs: I was pointing out option C. Nicely put LOL

The moral of the story? Channeling Mick Jagger; "You can't always get what you want....but if you try sometimes....you'll get what you need........"

I think it's okay that we all agree to disagree. Go with the flow.. I'm sure everything will turn out great no matter what you do.

One guest showed up in shorts, a t-shirt, sandals (not flip flops), and a gently used baseball cap. He was the only one who didn't dress nicer than every other day. Did I care? Nope.

Oh I love it Shelby H.!!!

Don't assume people know what to wear. People appreciate knowing what attire is appropriate for an event so they don't feel over or under dressed. I get this question a lot for work social events. I totally get why it matters to you. I put "cocktail attire" on the FAQ section of our wedding website, but didn't mention it on the invitations.

And how does mentioning appropriate attire equate to "dictating" or "requiring" what people MUST wear? It's not a rule, it's a suggestion. I see that all the time on invitations for events. But somehow it becomes "rude" or "tacky" when it comes to a wedding? That's absurd.

Hmm. I was invited to a ball at the Waldorf Astoria when I was 15. Somehow, even at that age, I knew what to wear. We did not dictate a dress code for our wedding. I had a few guests ask what would be appropriate. I told them what I thought the lowest common denominator. Women, dress slacks and a blouse, or a dress, men a sport coat, khakis and button down shirt. Every male had a tie and jacket and every woman was in, at a minimum, dress slacks. To be perfectly honest, if it weren't for the pictures, I probably wouldn't even know this. I was just so damn happy they were all there.

"I was just so damn happy they were all there". Go, Karen!

I would be a little upset to see someone show up in jeans - it wouldn't ruin the entire day but my feelings would be hurt that they didn't feel the need to put a little more effort into their dress. (Obviously there are certain exceptions like money or ability). I think most who specify they wouldn't like to see jeans feel similar to this.