Downsizing wedding after STDs are sent out...help?

You cannot. That's super inconsiderate

@ShellBelle, our family has been generous with hand-me-downs so we could furnish our apartment. Therefore a traditional registry wasn't necessary for us.

@Jeanne, my grandfather is providing us with airfare and a hotel stay (at a reasonably priced hotel) to Disneyland as a gift to us, so we will only need to purchase tickets to the park, which is what the honeyfund is for. Not to "fund our luxury vacation". He is not contributing to the costs of the wedding itself nor would we ask him to.

Any vacation is a luxury. Asking friends and family to fund said vacation when you yourself said the $600 wedding was looking financial challenging does not exactly scream responsible, independent adult.

If you're looking for cash gifts, you just don't create a registry or mention anything about gifts at all. Or you can create a very small registry and your guests will also get the hint and give you money. Those are the polite ways to get cash for your honeymoon.

I am thinking that if you uninvite guests, they will not be as inclined to send a gift (monetary or not).

@Jeanne - not sure where you got $600, as that is just the cost of the venue. The full wedding comes to about $7000. No one is expected to fund anything. The honeyfund was set up when financials were not expected to be an issue and obviously would be removed if we do go the route of having an intimate ceremony.

I appreciate the people that provided helpful cost cutting ideas and I will definitely consider them. For those of you who are being nothing but negative, thanks for making a stressed out bride feel worse.

@Samantha, if we go the route of the intimate ceremony, we will be turning off the honeyfund and registry. I definitely would not expect gifts or monetary contributions.

@Future Mrs Caraher it is very unfortunate you have to un invite people from the wedding after sending the STD cards. I do agree with the comments that say that it will not be easy and some of your guests may feel offended, I guess the most polite way to do it is to call them personally as soon as possible and explain to them your situation. By the way you do not have to give any further explanations or justify yourself for anything you are doing. I am pretty sure it is painful enough already to have to change your plans.

I am pretty sure the people that love you and know you will be understanding of any situation

Too late

I have a cousin who asked 3 of our cousins for their addresses in order to send them invites to his wedding. So...the entire family knew about this wedding. These 3 cousins never got an invite...there was never a STD sent out, but he pretty much was inviting them by asking for their address. Well, that whole fiasco has cause so much drama in our family because of all the hurt feelings. So, you're going to hurt a lot of feelings of people you care about if you decide to uninvite them; relationships might be broken if you do this.

Wait you had a honeyfund?

Sqwiggy...I was wondering the same thing? Where did she say she has a honeyfund?

If you go the route of smaller, intimate ceremony, each gift needs to be returned IN FULL with a card of explaination. I never considered using some kind of cash-getting registry, so I don't know for sure, but my understanding is you only receive a cut of what the guests give. If Uncle Bob gave $100 but you only received $80, Uncle Bob needs to receive a check for $100 irregardless. For this reason, I'd consider shutting down your registries now. The last thing you want is to be even more financially beholden to this event that probably won't happen. PS - asking people to fund your honeymoon is gross. FH and I are putting an emphasis on paying off his student loans in full in our first 2 years of marriage, so we created a really lean and mean budget for ****. I suggested we have a small honeymoon post-wedding and postpone what we'd planned for awhile. I did not expect strangers to fund my vacation. My family & friends can't afford their own big vacations, why should they help me afford mine?

@Squiggy @Princess Crystal, I'm assuming PPs looked on my wedding site and brought that *completely unrelated to the topic* up.

It's too late. How do you just all the sudden wake up and say "let's start house hunting and uninvite our wedding guests". You said your whole wedding is going to be $7,000. That shouldn't make or break being able to get a house. Get a second job. Cut costs where you can... Don't go out to dinner, don't get a coffee on your way to work, cancel your gym membership and work out at home, etc.

I don't think you can change it now since you already sent STDs.

@Laura - that would definitely be the plan. We haven't received any contributions, but if we do decide to go this route anything received would of course be returned. In regards to the honeyfund, we have known plenty of people to fund part or all of their honeymoon this way. If it's not your cup of tea then so be it, but I along with many others see no issue in it.

If you can't afford your wedding, and your saying your using the money you'd be saving for a house, your honeyfund is not unrelated. Even if you were sticking with your original plan your honeyfund is tacky. People cant afford to go to Disney themselves so how is asking them to help pay for your tickets not a luxury vacation?

You have a honeyfund but you want to uninvite most of your guests.

Please tell me you see why this doesn't add up.

@bellamae our future plans are only part of the reason. $7000 isn't going to make or break it, but it surely would help. If we decide we want an intimate ceremony so we are more financially comfortable that is our decision. I was looking for advice on how to communicate that decision to people we had invited, not criticism on our choices. We have cut aspects of our budget already.

A honeyfund is a terrible idea even when you're not planning to exclude 100+ previously invited guests.