Don't let plus one's be in your pictures

I agree. The only "plus one" we are allowing in our pictures are the MOH & BM because my FBIL is dating my MOH Other wise it's not going to happen, actually we are planning on not allowing plus ones since we have a tight budget.

The Best Man is my FBIL. Forgot to clarify that

I agree long term relationships even worry me. Best man (FBIL's) girlfriend of about 2 years will not make it into many of my pictures. maybe a few. But just cus they are together now def. doesn't mean they will be forever. I still see random pictures of FH before we met.... oh theres his ex. They were together for a while just expected it to work out. Gag... but Now look who's got the ring. I don't want to end up insulting FBIL's wife one day that his ex made it in all the pictures.

I think family and friends only. My sister is getting married next month. When FH and I got engaged she told us that Curt can join us for pictures now... since we are engaged. At first i was like well gee thanks I guess live in boyfriend of 3 years isn't good enough. But I see where she's coming from. I'd prolly limit the pictures he was in before too if I was her.

Def Friends and Family only. I had my brothers girlfriend in the family picture because I knew he was proposing after the holidays and of course she said Yes

I don't think it matters honestly. My brother and his wife have been married for 16 years so of course she was in the pictures. A month later she told him she wanted a divorce and they are well on their way to ending the marriage. I hate the way she went about things and now she is in my wedding pictures.

You can't control the future of people's relationships. What if the 1 month girlfriend turned into your favorite SIL? Honestly if it is something your family wants, let it be. Especially because it's probably only a small handful of the pictures. Take one of you, your parents and your sibling without spouses or girlfriends if you want, but still take the big one with everyone.

Nope, I'm not having girlfriends in the pictures at all. I do not want some random chick in my wedding pictures. There's no reason for it.

I never even thought of this. I don't think I care either way.

Ha! @Pumpkin... I was just thinking that. I was in family pictures with my husband for his sister's wedding, and his mom struggled for years after our divorce about taking it down or leaving it up. We were married a long time, we have 3 kids, I was part of the family. But damn -- it doesn't mean they like looking at my face now in ANY family picture.

I agree with pumpkin. Hate to say even if you are married your relationship can end and many times it's not pleasant...

We did pictures with and without. It didn't really take long and wasn't complicated - maybe that's because we always do group pictures at xmas and everyone knew the routine.

I think with plus 1's it should be a case by case basis. One of my aunts has 4 boys, 1 is married and 2 of them have steady girlfriends. I have met these girls at family events and both couples have been together for a few years, so I'm inviting the girlfriends. I will be letting the 4th brother add a plus 1 because I don't want him to have to be the only one on the trip without someone if he has a girlfriend that he wants to bring. However my husband's nephew (who is in his 20's with 3 daughters who are the flower girls), isn't getting a plus 1 because he is recently divorced and does not have a girlfriend that the whole family is comfortable with. FH also has a few other nephews and nieces that we aren't allowing plus 1's because they are either too young or haven't been with anyone long enough for us to feel it would worth our money to invite.

I just want to add though that even pictures with significant others can always become akward later on, that's just part of life. My FH was married twice before me so there are a lot of family pictures with his second wife still in the family photos, It doesn't bother me though because it was just a time and place. My FSIL just recently got divorced to a man that we all cared for and they were together for like 20 years, but he has dones some horrible things (a few that caused the divorce and few after the divorce) and none us really want to see him, but he is still in family photo's that aren't going to go away. And you never know, that proverbial girlfriend of 1 month may end up to be family one day and it would actually have been nice to have had her in a picture, Just a thought when you decided to be picky.

I really don't agree with this. My brother is a habitual dater but the girl hes with now (whom I had pictures with her and my brother) Means a lot to him now. Just because the relationship may not work out, whether its dating or married, doesn't mean that they weren't important at that time. I also had pictures with our best man's gf who is now his fiance and I'm glad I did, whether they work out or not. Its like saying "hey, I don't think your relationship will make it so you don't deserve to be in MY pictures" which is judgmental bull crap.

All falls back on to the "it's MY day so it's MY way" type of thinking. Who says that family members WON'T want pictures of the plus ones that are making their loved ones happy?

FI's cousin is a GM and he has a long term GF who is very close to the family and I like her a lot but although we've talked and I know she'd love to marry FI's cousin, they're not engaged.

She will be in pictures because of how close she is to his family. In the end it shouldn't matter as long as the extra person is close with people in the pictures at the time of the pictures. You can't worry about what or how people will think in 10 years.

Pumpkin is right about that one! My cousin got married and had her brother & his wife in the bridal party. Not even a month after my cousin got married, her brother's wife was asking for a divorce. She's in ALL the pictures and her family even came to the wedding!

I really agree with Pumpkin! One may exclude a "plus one" now who may very well go on to become a SIL or BIL - and who may harbor some ill feelings at being so blatantly excluded. However, including some one now because they are engaged/married, when that relationship may very well end (and you are stuck looking at their mugs/being reminded of them and all the emotional baggage that goes with it!) can be just as bad! Seriously? I would rather rather say, "Oh, that was my [insert relative]'s girlfriend/boyfriend at the time," rather than saying, "That's that total jerk/b*otch who worked over my [insert relative]!"

But, that's just me!

I let guests bring 1's on a case-by-case basis. I do prefer ones with long-term relationships or if my guest is traveling with a friend, I would still be happy to include a 1 who I do not know and may never see again.

It depends, I don't want guests to bring plus ones just for the sake of it. There has to be a reason or necessity.

Meh, I don't think it's that big of a deal. If my brother brings a random date to my wedding and it's important to him that she's included in the photos, I don't really care. Honestly - there are one or two actual family members I would exclude from photos if I really got my way, but obviously that's not going to happen.

I would probably just tell my photographer if I wanted a copy without her in it. I think photographers are pretty diplomatic about telling people to get in and out of the photos.

I agree that pictures should be taken with them and then without them. You never know where their relationship will lead, either divorce or marriage. We had family pictures taken about 6 months before my wedding and my brother was dating a girl he was very serious about, he told us all she was the one. A month after the pictures were taken they broke up, and it was ugly. 95% of the family pictures we can't even display anymore.

This is a great topic and something to think about. I will be definetly talking to my photographer and as her to take with and without so that there are no hard feelings.

Some of our wedding pictures have people we don't know at all in them. The staff of the synagogue was so excited about our wedding that our rabbi asked if it would be okay if they attended the ceremony. We thought that was rather sweet, and told him of course it would be okay. We didn't make any effort to get formals of them, but we're happy to have them in the ceremony pictures.

Then again, I see our wedding pictures as primarily a way for us to remember our day. So I'd want pictures of whatever happened, rather than omitting certain people because I'm not otherwise friends with them.

Position the questionable ones on the end, then you can edit them out . Honestly though I think they are still the people that came to your wedding, whether the relationship endures they were still in fact there. I'm not so worried about it.