Donations for favors - Do or a Don't?

Well jimmy kimmel was on ellen the other day and they got to talking about xmas gifts and he got a card that read "a donation has been made in your name" ellen said "yea i do that too"

his side of it was if u donate $100 and buy 85 cards, thats a gift of about $1.15!! he also added "i just gave u a WII why dont u donate that!!"

its great if you actuallly donate (which assuming you will since its his uncle's disease) but me personally i would think "o thats nice" almost like a child with candy in their face and telling them were gonna give this to someone else in their name.

hope that made sense. sorry just MHO.

I definately appreciate your honesty! I'm kinda afraid that his side will think its very touching while my side will have the "o that's nice" attitude.

I'm not opposed to it at all. First it has sentimental value to you and your family. Second, most wedding favors get left behind or go in a junk drawer never to be seen again...I think its a nice and practical idea. Check a prominant website for NF, for donaton options. Just as an example, The American Cancer Society website sells favor cards (or charity cards) for just that purpose. Here is one of their samples

"With much thought and consideration, we have chosen a special way to say thank you for sharing our wedding day with us. In lieu of a tradtional wedding favor, we have made a donation in your honor to The American Cancer Society. In honor of all our family and friends that have been affected by this disease. We feel the finest gift is one which helps others live longer and healthier lives. All our love, Lucy & Brian. 7-7-06"

I suppose you just type your own and print it on nice paper instead of purchasing the ones they sell.

Best wishes!!!

Miss Manners has something to say about this - I remember from similar threads in the past. We need Cabell, she's the one who posts Miss Manners things.

Anyways, we're doing this. We're donating in our guests' names to the American Heart Association since both of our families suffer from heart conditions and we just lost another family member less than a year ago. We had a graphic designer design cards and had them printed at VistaPrint. They say: Thank you for sharing this day with us. In recognition of your love and support, and in honor of our loved ones affected by heart conditions, we have made a doniation in our guests' name to American Heart Association.

If I can get a picture, I'll show you...

I had posted something like this a while ago. So one came up with the idea of the Dollar Dance and put that twd donations. We are doing that for Autism.

We donated, we put a note on the place cards, something like:

In lieu of favors a donation has been made to X charity in your honor.

Found the miss manners quote on favors --

"Who told you that you had to give out wedding favors? Etiquette has never thought of weddings as comparable to children’s birthday parties, where the guests might need consolation for not being the center of attention. –>You owe them only the hospitality of the occasion."

That being said, I think the donation in lieu of favors is appropriate and the wording by Chris and Jennifer W. is great.

Miss Manners's other remark about favors is that it is not charming to let your guests know that you considered purchasing them a small present... and then decided against it. :p

We donated to the White Knot Campaign for marriage equality, but didn't call it a favor.

We are donating as well. So far everyone I have told about it thinks that it is a great idea. Out of all of the weddings I have been to, I cannot remember the favors I have taken home. We are donating to ASPCA because we are both huge animal lovers. They also give you little cards for free to let the guests know of the donation.

We're debating on doing something like this. My niece has leukemia and we've thought about doing a donation to Alex's Lemonade Stand, or the Children's Hospital that has been so good to her. Both places give us something to give guests tolet them know a donation has been made. We also plan on doing a candy bar or something so guests will have something additonal to take home.

We're debating on doing something like this. My niece has leukemia and we've thought about doing a donation to Alex's Lemonade Stand, or the Children's Hospital that has been so good to her. Both places give us something to give guests tolet them know a donation has been made. We also plan on doing a candy bar or something so guests will have something additonal to take home.

I think it's a lovely idea. Often times the favors get tossed any way so making the donation in hour of a cause that is important to you or in memory of someone who couldn't share the day with you is a great thing to do. Anything that benefits charity is good in my book.

I kind of agree with Angie. I don't know, while it's a sweet gesture, it's kind of like "this person/charity means more to us than you do." I know it's stupid but that's kind of what I thought, imo. If you already plan on doing place cards, you might consider http://www.weddingfavorsunlimited.com/autumn_leaf_plantable_seed_place_cards.html

This is one of the things we are doing. It's like saying "we support this cause, but here's a little gift for you." And you can even print your donation message on them. Just a thought

We are donating as well! We are trying to decide between two organizations that we admire and respect as well as have a close part in our lives. We are also doin a Candy Bar for kids so it works out!

Kaara...the candy bar is a guest favor, so you would actually be giving two thank you gifts. So, then, the "in lieu of" wouldn't make sense. If you want to give a tangible item, maybe attach to the donation card a teeny net or zip bag with 2-3 lemon drops for alex's lemonade stand.

I'm for the donating favor thing..I may do that..but I see how some people can take it as showing off/flaunting (which I don't!), others are put off if you get no favor at all, others could care less. lol I think try to gauge your guests overall on what you think they are like, but bottom line you do what you want! :-)

We had favors but I went to wedding last summer where they made a donation to compassion international. My friend sponsors a child in a 3rd world country. And they used the money they would have spent on favors to donate to this child's family. They had cards on the table held up on a stand talking about the organization and the little girl. I thought it was great and not tacky at all. Favors get left behind most of the time. My MIL paid for ours but some did get left behind. So to me donating seems better. Favors are in a sense kind of pointless and waste of money.

I am just not a fan of wedding favors. I don't want a bag of Hersey Kisses or a cookie cutter that I'm never going to use. I would rather you put your money to better use and for this reason we are doing a donation.. We are giving half to the Animal Protection League (APL) of Springfield since I am a huge animal lover and half to Neurofibromotosis (NF) since FH's aunt and 2 of his uncle suffer from this disorder. I haven't quite decided how to go about telling our guests about the donations. I might type something up and place it in a frame on the escort card table or put separate cards on each table. Still up in the air on this aspect.

Yes! Do donations. Such a better way to spend money. How about something to the effect of, "It was such an honor to have you at our wedding. To honor you, we would like to present a donation in your name to ______(charity)_______. Thanks for your love and support."

I think the donation is a great idea. I really don't like wedding favors. They are usually something that you don't want or need. Most of the time they are either left or trashed anyway. I only kept one wedding favor, which was a really nice glass picture frame.