Do you gift the bride and groom if you're an attendant?

We always have, yes. I know not everyone feels this way, but I’d feel weird not gifting a couple getting married.

I give them a gift at the shower and might give a little something else shipped to their house. I've never taken a gift to their wedding.

I usually do off their registry to their house. Both times I was a bridesmaid, I was in college, so I picked a lower price gift (maybe $20-$40) since I was flying in & paying for HAMU & bachelorette & dress & bridal shower.

I gave my friends items off of their registry at the bridal showers, but not at the wedding. I don't think the wedding would be an inappropriate place by any means but typically gifts are given at showers.

I guess I should clarify that I’ve never brought a physical gift to the wedding. That just isn’t done in my circle. I’ve always brought a card with a monetary gift in it.

View Quoted Comment I’m the same as this.

View Quoted Comment I get it!... guess I should have clarified that I was asking if you give the bride and groom something. Ie standing up isn’t your gift to them. I think yes but have heard and seen otherwise.

I would say absolutely. When I was my Bridesmaids brodesmaid I gifted her at the wedding, bridal shower and getting all the things done she wanted!

Some do the gifts at the showers, some give them at the reception. In my family, we have never done showers or parties before (bach, rehersal etc) so gifts are always given at the reception.

I have given gifts when I was a bridesmaid. But that was my choice. As a bride now, although my wedding is not a dumpster fire like others I've been in/seen, I wouldn't expect a gift from a BP member.

Where I live we give a physical gift at the shower (if there is one) and cash in a card at the wedding. This is the only way I have ever seen things done and hadn't realized people brought physical gifts to the wedding until I read it here. Of course if I'm in the wedding they get those same gifts, usually a little more money since it's most likely someone I'm closer to.

View Quoted Comment No you have me curious about what made them dumpster fire weddings 😂

View Quoted Comment I learned everything I would never do from the last wedding I was in. It was a complete DIY, old Hollywood theme. Nevermind that the bridesmaids were like Frankenstein's monsters 😥 basically I was the moh for the most manipulative lifetime movie worthy woman on the planet. I lied to a priest because I didn't know she was married 2x. I mean seriously I could go on and on lol. I can't even tell you the hours I spent decorating, planning, chasing around a drug addicted sister flopping around on the floor, etc. I got called the c word by a bridesmaid's child's father because she got a speeding ticket. Because that somehow made her incapable of paying for anything associated with the wedding. So obviously, I should pay for her. I'm having flashbacks.

View Quoted Comment I don’t know how you didn’t walk away from the whole mess! Dang girl!

View Quoted Comment "I was blind, but now I see." Lol I was definitely much more tolerant and naive then. Now I focus on surrounding myself with better people, and it's worked. 🤣🤣

View Quoted Comment Same here. I never even knew people brought physical gifts to a wedding. I was shocked lol. Things vary regionally and culturally, good to know! 😂

I could not in good conscience go to a wedding and not give a gift, especially if I was in the bridal party. To the actual wedding I would not bring a physical gift, but a card with a check. I would give a physical gift off their registry at the shower.

In my experience, the shower gift is throwing the shower itself, but sometimes the bridesmaids will also give a small gift off the registry. Then, a monetary gift at the wedding.

Bridesmaids give a gift at the shower. Idk how men go about it. But I have always given something small after the bridal shower as bridesmaid. Aka I buy a nice photo album (about $20) with a card and say it's for their honeymoon pictures, future vacations, to begin a family, pets. I have also done two of my friends makeup for their wedding for free as a gift.

I have..I wouldn’t extend but it’s a nice gesture.