Do you gift the bride and groom if you're an attendant?

We always have. The weddings H has been in we gifted cash at the wedding. I was a bridesmaid this past weekend, and I gifted at her shower (her family hosted, we did not) and then purchased a gift off their registry and had it sent to their house prior to the wedding.

Absolutely, it costs SO much to have any kind of guest/vendor there at all. After seeing how much weddings cost per guest, I have made it a rule to spend $150-200 per wedding gift. I think it's important to show you appreciate them inviting you.

I personally would but that's just me; especially if they haven't already established a home together. That being said, I wouldn't go all out since attendants usually purchase their own attire and such. My husband and I didn't do a registry or expect gifts but we were 29 & 33 at the time of our wedding. By that time, we had both bought houses and established ourselves. Some people still gave us gifts, mostly in the form of gift cards for Lowe's and Bed, Bath, and Beyond. Regardless, we very much appreciated any gift.

Yes you should give someone a gift for attending their wedding, regardless of your role in the wedding! Though if you are spending a lot of money to be a bridesmaid (paying for extravagant bachelorette parties and bridal showers, etc) then I think giving a smaller gift is ok. If the bride is literally just asking you to buy a dress and stand next to her, then I think a regular gift is expected. I would feel odd showing up to an event without a gift, even if I was an attendant at the event!

If I paid for my own hair, make-up, outfit, etc etc than no, but if they paid for my outfit etc, than yes I would.

Then again if I had the extra $$ I probably would anyways because I'd feel self conscious not gifting.

View Quoted Comment

Agree with this, exactly.

Always. my presence is not their gift!

Our bridal party are gifting us the cake and liquor for our wedding, i wouldnt expect another gift from them the day of or before. PAying for the cake and liquor is such an amazing gift to us

In all honesty, it always depends on how much I've spent already on shower gifts, travel, bachelorette parties, outfits, hair/makeup/etc. I usually have a set budget for gifts so depends on how much I have leftover.

I did not expect any of our wedding party to give us gifts, and most of them did not. They had to travel, pay for airfare, hotels, attire. That was really enough. Most of the times I've been in a wedding, it's involved a lot of travel, etc. so if I did give a gift, it was a small one from the registry.

View Quoted Comment Agreed! I don’t expect a gift. They’re paying for a dress and HMU. And dealing with my indecisiveness! That’s gift enough for me

I did something inexpensive and personal since I had already put on the shower, the bachelorette party, bought presents for each, and bought my wedding attire, hair and makeup.

I was the only bridesmaid out of six in a wedding last year that gave a wedding gift and I was stunned. I’ve always thought the bridesmaids give a gift at the shower and a wedding gift 🤷🏻‍♀️

I have always purchased a gift off of their registry for the bridal shower then I bring a card with money for the wedding

I've never been in a bridal party, so this wasn't really something I had thought of until my sister (who is one of my bridesmaids) asked if I had made my registry yet. I was a bit surprised that she asked because my thought is that she (and all the other party members) is already paying for the dress, HAMU, and contributing towards things like Bridal shower and Bachelorette party and told her that was definitely enough and I did not expect her to get us a gift.

I've never been a bridesmaid but FH was a groomsmen last summer and we still gifted them cash.
My MOH is gifting us (me) the wedding jewelry.

View Quoted Comment

Haha I am so glad you asked because I was about to lol

Yes of course!!

Yes of course, the are paying for your dinner plate, entertainment, favors, and possibly your drinks too

I personally don’t think they should feel obligated. Their gift to you is spending the money on buying a dress and renting a suit. Those are not cheap! I don’t want any of my bridal party to get us anything. But if they truly wanted to give us something. I would prefer something hand made.