Do you gift if you're in the wedding party?

I'm not sure what I would do in that situation. Are you close with any of the other BMs and can ask what they're doing? I think maybe a small gift could be nice, even just a gift card for a nice dinner that they can use to relax after all the craziness of wedding stuff.

I have always given a gift. Being a bridesmaid is an honor (believe it or not LOL) and doesn't trump you giving a gift. I gift what I would have given even if I wasn't in the wedding.

Hmm... I gifted for two of the weddings I was in. The third I didn't because I had to take so much time off work (it was in PR), the dress and alterations were expensive and because my parents had already VERY generously helped them.

My BMs all got me gifts, which I would have been fine without as well, but they were small gifts off the registry. Perhaps get her something small, like a nice frame to put a wedding picture in her office? I found one the other day at BB&B on clearance for $4.99, it's like a shimmery ivory and says "I do!" in silver on the bottom. It's in my office now.

Thanks! I was thinking of something like a $50 gift card from FH and I to a local restaurant. I'm not trying to be cheap here, but we've spent almost $1000 between the two of us on this couple's wedding and related activities.

I've also considered just calling her (the bride) and suggesting neither of us gift for each other's weddings, since they're within like 3 months of each other. Not sure how that'd work out.

@Paris, I'll believe all that honor crap when I see it! ;-)

@Reenski, I like the frame idea.

I always gift something personal. Typically an engraved first Christmas ornament or an engraved nice bottle of wine with their names and date. Usually doesn't cost a ton and it's something unique.

Bypassing all the talk "a gift is never a requirement", my understanding is that generally, a bridesmaid would give a wedding gift. However, I think you have a couple of options:

1) don't give a gift and leave it at that (probably not the best idea since you don't want to hurt the brides feelings, particularly right before your wedding)

2) get together with the other BMs and pool your resources-- buy one larger gift together, which should save at least a little bit of money on your end

3) let your friend know that you would like to give her a gift, but that with your own wedding, money will be tight for the next year (however long). You hope to get her something before her anniversary.

Traditionally in these circumstances the "wedding gift" takes priority over all the other gifts (shower, etc), but you're already past the point where you can do this. If I were in your shoes, I would go with option 2. Not only will it save you face, but there are probably some larger items on. . . .

... your friends registry that she is hoping to get, but one person couldn't do on their own.

I like the idea of a small, personal gift that isn't cash. The Christmas ornament one is good, or maybe something decorative for their house?

How about something like this? Personal yet affordable.

http://gifts.personalcreations.com/gifts/Home-Is-Where-Your-Story-Begins-Canvases-30019747?REF=PCRSRCHgoogkwd_personalized+home+decor_e&viewpos=4&trackingpgroup=PWALLFR

The last wedding I was in was my MOH. I flew for everything and gave her a $150 excursion on her honeymoon. My other BM's wedding I was in I gave her like a $100 stationary gift box that included stamps and a stamper. For that one I flew to everything even a bachelorette party in Vegas. I don't expect anything from my BM's but I know they will get me something. My maid of honor already got me my vacuum.

I like what you posted Amanda G. that is really cute.

I would gift something small. I don’t think a $50 gift card to a good restaurant is cheap, I think it’s generous.

Most of my BP did, and the ones who didn't were single men. One of whom bought us a gift 4 years later.

I've also always given a gift when I was in a wedding... even when the bride was, shall we say, less than a treat during the process, and I spent more than I should have being in the wedding.

But I agree with just doing something small and personal. For the most recent wedding I was in, I spent at least $500 on everything else (I try not to tally these things up because it's kind of depressing), so I only spent about $25 on the gift.

I love mine! The two bands together make a heart-- it's just sappy romantic, from my straight-laced engineer!

I have been in a lot of weddings and always gave a gift. Always money because I knew that they needed it. I usually did the "traditional pay for your plate bit".

I love the canvas and I've seen that same sort of thing on etsy so shop around and get the most bang for your buck.

I say if it's a DW then no gift. But otherwise, I still gave them their bridal shower gift (if they had one) and cash at the wedding.

Thanks Lindsay! I already ordered it for them :-)

Maybe you and the bridal party can all buy her a gift together?

@Paris, thanks for the tip! I scored Etsy but couldn't find quite what I wanted that would ship soon enough - their wedding is in 3 1/2 weeks.

Thanks everyone for all the inputs - greatly appreciated!