Do you gift if you're in the wedding party?

I was just a BM in a wedding this past Friday. She was not easy either....but I won't go into that. I spent ~$750 between the shower and traveling and attire - not including the traveling/hotel for the actual wedding. I didn't get her a shower gift (quite honestly totally freaking forgot) and I wasn't able to go to the bachelorette but did send a pair of underwear (that sounds strange). I was like you and totally on the fence about a gift. I wound up getting her some stuff that was on her registry and on sale so I spent about what I wanted. I'm glad I did in the end...

I like the canvas you posted -- kind of want one myself!!!

@Jamie --- lol my MOH gave me my vacuum too.

I've always given wedding gifts when I was in the bridal party and typically I was more generous since these were people I was closer to than other weddings I've gone to. I probably spent close to $1000 leading up to my sister's wedding (I had to fly across the country multiple times for wedding, bridal shower etc.). Nonetheless, I still spent between $100 and $200 on each gift I gave here and her new husband. I know that it shouldn't be the money that matters, but I see giving a nice gift as a sign of support. I do not have a lot of money, by any means, but I also think that giving a gift for a wedding, especially one that you are a part of, is customary and a sign that you support the couples union.

That being said, I like others suggestion that the bridal party chip in for a present. I know it is less likely that someone buys some of the pricier items on the list, so chipping in with the other BM may allow you all to get one of those 'bigger ticket items.'

I think that would be proper to still give a gift to the bride and groom.

Accepting to be a bridesmaid or usher is a big deal. Saying yes, you need to take in consideration how expensive it might be. Dress, shoes, hair, makeup, planning the shower, the bachlorette party etc.

So I would say yes to the money gift.

Personally I wouldnt say anything or think badly of a BM who didnt gift. they are spending enough on everything and it doesnt seem right to expect a gift also. I told mine not to worry about it and they all said they had gifts they wanted to give me. Le sigh. But there are brides out there who expect it and then some. I have had friends tell me of brides who expected the best present ever from her girls since they were their closest friends. Um what? So it depends on what kind of girl she is. Something little might be enough.

I always get a gift...one wedding was really last minute, and I shelled out a ton throwing a bachelorette party/lingerie shower and buying my dress on rush order...therefore, the gift I gave was only about 30 dollars (this was also before I got my full time job).

The other wedding I was in, I had about 7 months notice, and the bride paid for our dresses. I couldn't throw the shower (out of state) and just sent a gift to it, so I bought her a nicer wedding gift (130 dollars)...I also had a full time job at this time.

I usually do a shower gift if they have a shower, and give $25-$50 at the wedding. I do not do a batchelorette gift. Those aren't really done around here, and I never understood why I would have to get someone a gift on top of helping pay for food and drinks for them.

I say yes.

I would expect no more than a card or small sentimental gift from a BM. Honestly, I think $1000 is more than enough, and if she "expects" an additional wedding gift from you, she's being unreasonable.

Both of our attendants gave us gifts. Then again, they were my children.

I would I once had to fly across country and bought a shower and wedding gift. like the others said it doesn't have to be big and if she has a BBB registry they have 20% coupons all the time I could email you the one in my inbox if you need it.

If you giys are comfortable enough with each other why dont you see if you can make a deal not to get each other anything. Theres no point in giving her a 100 if shes going to give it right back in 3 months. If it was me id be all for it.

Every wedding I have been in, I purchased the couple a gift.

I don't think you need to. You have already done plenty! I personally would not.

But, I do like the idea of the bridal party all chipping in like $3-5 for a cute yet inexpensive gift.

ETA: Do get a card though

Thanks guys! I got them the personalized wall canvas that I posted on the previous page :-) It's really cute (I want one now) and I didn't have to break the bank, so win-win!

I don't know if you can pull this off being that you will be very busy the day of, but my favorite gift to give is a framed cover of that day's daily newspaper. I try to pick one that isn't so depressing. WSJ does the weekend, but local papers are always nice as well. I go to Michaels and get a white frame that fits 11x17 and then trim down the sides (or fold them over if you're in a rush). There's no real need to keep the rest of the paper from that day, but it might be nice too. This might be a task for your FH. It only costs around $15 and it's a "memorable" gift.

Good Luck!

Cute idea Erica!

As a recent bride, only one of my bridesmaids gave us a gift. Personally, I was a little hurt because I didn't ask for much for bridal shower or bachelorette (and spent a lot of money on a bridal luncheon and their presents for being bridesmaids) but more importantly would have loved to have something small to cherish in the future as a gift from the girls closest to me. I would suggest something small but meaningful because wedding gifts really do mean a lot even if it's something small and inexpensive.

When should the MOH give the bride her gift? I purchased her something new & blue....it is a bracelet for her wedding day?

I wasn't sure either but considering I spent over $1500 for her vegas bachelorette party, her luxurious bridal shower plus an extra gift, not to mention I was the only one out of town so spent extra on travel, ended up spending nearly $2k and since I had two weddings back to back, I had completely forgotten about even asking whether or not to give another final gift for the wedding and due to my lack of knowledge, I was literally torn apart even after I was the one who cleaned the bridal suite and returned the dresses since her moh got too drunk to handle it. So YES, save yourself the resentment and heated argument and give her a damn gift. My friend and I have never been the same after that fight and I am starting to realize perhaps I need to get new friends...

If you’re in the wedding party, you still need to get a gift

Yes, you’ve spent a lot on attire, travel, hotel, and other events, but you’re still required to get the couple a gift. No exceptions.

You can always gift something small and personal, or go in with the rest of the bridesmaids on a group gift!!

8 Things Every Wedding Guest Should Know About Gift Giving