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Krista
VIP May 2012

Do i need a Bridal Shower?

Krista, on February 21, 2012 at 3:10 PM Posted in Planning 0 26

My mom asked me recently about having a bridal shower. I really don't think i want one. My FH and I are not registering anywhere so i am not sure what people would bring as gifts. I just don't see the point in it especially if their are no gifts.

26 Comments

Latest activity by happilyevergrillo, on August 9, 2017 at 2:17 PM
  • Kimi K
    Master February 2012
    Kimi K ·
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    I don't think anyone is required to have a bridal shower. I'm not having one. I'm in my mid 20s, I've lived on my own for almost 5 years and have everything I need. A bridal shower would've just showered me with gifts I don't need.

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  • FMC
    Master June 2012
    FMC ·
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    I'm not having one. I'm in my mid 30's and just really don't need anything. It's not required.

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  • Katie Bug
    Super June 2012
    Katie Bug ·
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    It's certainly not required. I will tell you though that you might regret not having one...I had a BLAST at mine and loved it so much. It's one of those experiences that you only get one chance to have and I wouldn't want to regret it.

    I hear what you are saying about not being registered and/or not needing anything. However, there are many alternatives to the "traditional" shower. For example, you can have a honeymoon shower, which would be awesome! You can have a bar shower, which is what my MOH is throwing for me (also known as a Stock the Bar party). You can have a Temptations party...it's a little raunchy for some, but it would be great if you're into that sort of stuff. The list goes on and on!

    Obviously, it would be up to your host to determine the theme, but if you tell your Mom that you really appreciate her offering but that you'd like a non-traditional shower, you can see what she thinks/could come up with.

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  • MrsO
    Master May 2012
    MrsO ·
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    I don't want one either. My FH and I don't want a registry. We have everything we need and frankly, we don't have room in our 2 bedroom condo for the amount of stuff we already have, let alone more wedding gifts. We have accepted the fact that we should do a small registry somewhere just for people who would prefer to give an actual gift however that registry will likely be very small. I don't want a shower, nor do I want to register for and receive gifts that we have no need or room for.

    My FSIL (my brother's fiance) is apparently going to be planning one with my mom and my MOH (my only bridesmaid). I wasn't supposed to know, but its kinda obvious when she asks for my MOH's contact info. She has even asked me a couple times what "theme" I would want "if" I was to have a bridal shower. I don't even want a shower, much less a themed one. I'm not quite sure how to tell her though.

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  • Andrene
    Master October 2011
    Andrene ·
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    I didn't have one but admit I would have loved to have the party. DH and I didn't register for gifts so weren't expecting anything from anyone but a part of me really wanted to have everyone fussing over me for a day. Planning the wedding by myself was at times sad but the ladies on this site really came through to cheer me up whenever I got too down. It all worked out in the end and I had a beautiful wedding day and married the love of my life.

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  • Katie Bug
    Super June 2012
    Katie Bug ·
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    You also don't have to have a bridal shower. You can have a couple's shower, which is what we did. I've always liked co-ed showers much better!

    Here's some more non-traditional shower ideas:

    http://proudtoplan.blogspot.com/2012/02/non-traditional-bridal-showers.html

    http://voices.yahoo.com/ten-non-traditional-wedding-shower-ideas-couples-3312686.html?cat=23

    Also, for us the shower we had was a huge deal to many of our guests. I am from Northern VA, but we are getting married in South Carolina. My Mom threw us a shower in VA and guests were so thankful because they could attend without travelling. They now are off the hook for travelling for the wedding and don't feel as bad about it. They still had the opportunity to spend some time with me and meet my fiance.

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  • S3
    VIP May 2012
    S3 ·
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    I don't want one, but I'm getting one anyway. Apparently I have no choice in the matter.

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  • Carrie
    Master December 2011
    Carrie ·
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    How about having a party that doesn't involve gifts?

    High Tea / Tea parties are rather popular where I live. Just use it a chance to get to spend time with friends and family.

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  • Sara
    VIP May 2013
    Sara ·
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    I am not excited for a shower, but my mom and aunts are. They enjoy these kind of things. I can give them a Saturday afternoon and indulge them.

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  • S3
    VIP May 2012
    S3 ·
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    I feel the same way Sara P. Of course I'm going to be gracious and grateful for the shower. I'd just prefer not to have it :-/ I don't like being the center of attention. I'm dreading it!

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  • Juliette S
    Master February 2012
    Juliette S ·
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    Honestly, I have always found them generally dull. But my girls wanted to do it and did a great job -- not too many games, but plenty to do, and it was nice to catch up with people who won't be able to attend the wedding since I've been MIA lately.

    We had a "stock the bar" shower so I got mostly bottles of liquor which will be used Smiley smile and I figured people wouldn't feel obligated to go get an expensive gift. I also got alcohol infused whipped cream, so I'm pretty excited to open that one up!

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  • Sarah
    Expert August 2013
    Sarah ·
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    I'm excited to have a bridal shower! Any occasion where someone wants to throw me a party and bring me gifts is A-OK by me! hahaha I like to live by the rule, if someone wants to be nice to me, let them! Because, unfortunately, not everyone in the world does want to be nice to me. So, I treasure those who do Smiley smile

    All jokes aside, I totally see where you're coming from and I don't think that you have to have one, if you don't want one! It's up to you!!

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  • krisalicious
    Master April 2012
    krisalicious ·
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    You don't have to have one and you can definitely decline it if you really want to.

    But if someone really wants to throw you a party to celebrate your marriage, I'd let them, depending on what they wanted to do. High teas, spa days, lunches/brunches, or recipe/spice/stock the bar showers are fun.

    It's really up to you though. It's not required. Just do whatever makes you feel comfortable.

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  • mrsturnbow
    Super April 2012
    mrsturnbow ·
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    I'm not having one. Like Kimi I've been on my own long enough that I have pretty much everything I need/want. Anything I don't have, I probably don't need.

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  • HoundMama
    VIP May 2013
    HoundMama ·
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    I'm not planning on having one either. Same as the rest of you - we are both in our 30's, own a house and have everything we need. Not to mention that as a non-bride, I always hated attending bridal showers. For the most part they're pretty boring IMHO. I did like the shower my FSIL had, however. She just invited her friends and wedding party (as well as moms and grandmas) out to dinner and it was implied that you could bring a gift if you wanted, but it wasn't necessary. After dinner, grandmas and moms went home and the bachelorette party started. So for her the shower was more of a prelude to the bachelorette party, but not as much fuss as the traditional showers I've gone to where you rent a church hall and have a huge spread and games and 2 hours of opening gifts.

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  • Katie Bug
    Super June 2012
    Katie Bug ·
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    I can't believe that people are saying showers are boring! I've been to dozens of showers as a guest and always loved them...our shower was so much fun and we got many compliments. I guess they are just done differently in my circles?

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  • Soon to be Mrs R
    VIP June 2012
    Soon to be Mrs R ·
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    You don't have to have one. I want one. I think will be fun to get together

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  • K
    Master October 2012
    Kat ·
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    My opinion is that if someone wants to throw you a party, why not let them?

    I'm one of the few who thinks showers are fun! I can see how they can get a little boring to people who have gone to several that are all the same but with all the different types of showers these days, as mentioned by the other girls, they can be a lot of fun!

    BTW FH and I are both in our 30s, and I've lived on my own for over 10 years but we still registered for gifts because most of our stuff could use a major upgrade so why not? I never bought nice stuff for myself when I first moved out to live on my own because I couldn't afford it so now we're registering for nicer things to replace all that.

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  • 2d Bride
    Champion October 2009
    2d Bride ·
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    I personally hate bridal showers, and told anyone who asked about them that if they threw a bridal shower, I wouldn't come. So bear that in mind. However, a shower does imply a party at which you get noncash gifts, so if you aren't registered, you really can't have a traditional shower. You could think about a special purpose type shower--e.g., a lingerie or wine shower. Or you could just suggest some other type of party--e.g., an engagement party--at which gifts are not so much part of the entertainment.

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  • MrsD2011
    Master October 2011
    MrsD2011 ·
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    I can see where you are coming from, I had 2 showers and loved both of them but I didn't get a bachelorette party. I've always had fun at showers but then again I'm that girl who loves a party ... and if the party is in my honor ... then so be it ...

    Since you don't want one, just nicely tell them, you appreciate the effort but a shower just isn't something you want to have.

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