Lets discuss waxing... shall we?

No sex for a few days afterwards?! I've never heard that! And I've never been THAT sore.

Oh wow really?!?! I'm so glad I posted this discussion! It's nice to get advice from someone who regularly gets it done! :o)

All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal - The Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax.

Read on..........

My night began as any other normal weeknight. Fix dinner, watch the grand kids come and go. I then had the thought that would ring painfully in my mind for the next few hours: 'Maybe I should get the waxing kit from the medicine cabinet.

So I headed to the site of my demise: the bathroom.

It was one of those 'cold wax' kits. No melting a clump of hot wax, you just rub the strips together in your hand, they get warm and you peel them apart and press them to your leg (or wherever else) and you pull the hair right off. No muss, no fuss. How hard can it be?

I mean, I'm not a genius, but I am mechanically inclined enough to figure this out. (YA THINK!?!) So I pull one of the thin strips out. Its two strips facing each other stuck together.

Instead of rubbing them together, my genius kicks in so I get out the hair dryer and heat it to 1000 degrees. ('Cold wax,' yeah...right!)

I lay the strip across my thigh. Hold the skin around it tight and pull.

It works! OK, so it wasn't the best feeling, but it wasn't too bad. I can do this! Hair removal no longer eludes me!

I am She-rah, fighter of all wayward body hair and maker of smooth skin extraordinaire!

With my next wax strip I move north. After checking on the family, I sneak back into the bathroom for the ultimate hair fighting championship.

I drop my granny panties and place one foot on the toilet.

Using the same procedure, I apply the wax strip across the right side of my bikini line, covering the right half of my hoo-ha and stretching down to the inside of my butt cheek (it was a long strip).

I inhale deeply and brace myself....RRRRIIIPPP!!!!

I'm blind!!! Blinded from pain!!!!.....OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!!

Vision returning, I notice that I've only managed to pull off half the strip.

CRAP!

Another deep breath and RIPP! Everything is spinning and spotted.

I think I may pass out.... I must stay conscious...I must stay conscious.

Do I hear crashing drums??? Breathe, breathe.... OK, back to normal.

I want to see my trophy - a wax covered strip, the one that has caused me so much pain, with my hairy pelt sticking to it. I want to revel in the glory that is my triumph over body hair.

I hold up the strip! There's no hair on it.

Where is the hair???

WHERE IS THE WAX???

Slowly I ease my head down, foot still perched on the toilet. I see the hair. The hair that should be on the strip... it's not. I touch.. I am touching wax.

I run my fingers over the most sensitive part of my body, which is now covered in cold wax and matted hair.

Obviously people have different pain thresholds, and some people think it hurts way more than others. I would just say it's "uncomfortable," not that there's real pain involved. I have pretty sensitive skin, so I'm red that day & sometimes a little bit the next day, but nothing more than that. European Wax Center also uses a serum on you right afterwards that helps prevent ingrown hairs and redness. I love it!

Incidentally, not that anyone needs this info, lol, but I just moved to the middle of nowhere, Nevada, and I have yet to locate a salon. I shaved last week and it was AWFUL!!!! I will just have to be fuzzy until I find a salon, because I am NOT going through that again!!

Then I make the next BIG mistake ... remember my foot is still propped upon the toilet? So I put my foot down. Sealed shut! My butt is sealed shut. Sealed shut!

I penguin walk around the bathroom trying to figure out what to do and think to myself 'Please don't let me get the urge to poop...My head may pop off!

What can I do to melt the wax? Hot water!! Hot water melts wax!! I'll run the hottest water I can stand in the bathtub, get in, immerse the wax-covered bits and the wax should melt and I can gently wipe it off, right ??? *WRONG!!!!!!!*

I get in the tub - the water is slightly hotter than that used to torture prisoners of war or sterilize surgical equipment - I sit.

Now, the only thing worse than having your nether regions glued together, is having them glued together and then glued to the bottom of the tub.... in scalding hot water.

Which, by the way, does not melt cold wax.

So, now I'm stuck to the bottom of the tub as though I had cemented myself to the porcelain!!

God bless the AT&T man who had convinced me a few months ago to have a phone put in the bathroom!!!!!

I call my friend, thinking surely she has waxed before and has some secret of how to get me undone. It's a very good conversation starter.

So, my butt and hoo-ha are glued together to the bottom of the tub!

There is a slight pause. She doesn't know any secret tricks for removal but she does try to hide her laughter from me.

She wants to know exactly where the wax is located, 'Are we talking cheeks or hoo-ha?'

She's laughing out loud by now ... I can hear her.

I give her the rundown and she suggests I call the number on the side of the box.

YEAH!!!!! Right!! I should be the joke of someone else's night.

While we go through various solutions, I resort to trying to scrape the wax off with a razor. Nothing feels better than to have your girlie goodies covered in hot wax, glued shut, stuck to the tub in super hot water and then dry-shaving the sticky wax off!!

By now the brain is not working, dignity has taken a major hike and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need Post-Traumatic Stress counseling for this event.

My friend is still talking with me when I finally see my saving grace....the lotion they give you to remove the excess wax.

What do I really have to lose at this point? I rub some on and OH MY GOD!!! The scream probably woke the family and scared the dickens out of my friend.

It's sooo painful, but I really don't care. 'IT WORKS!

I get a hearty congratulation from my friend and she hangs up.

I successfully remove the remainder of the wax and then notice to my grief and despair....THE HAIR IS STILL THERE.......ALL OF IT!

So I recklessly shave it off. Heck, I'm numb by now. Nothing hurts.

I could have amputated my own leg at this point.

Next week I'm going to try hair color......how bad can that turn out???

hehehehe Hope that gave you a smile!

I used to be in the business and now have been out of it for many many years so I do my waxing at home.

My advice if you have never waxed before is to start small. You'll find that when the hair starts to grow back you are going to itch like you have crabs down there! LOL

Make sure you loofah afterwards as well to prevent ingrown hairs as they can be quite painful.

@Hayley. strips are not made for any sort of "up north" waxing because they're just not strong enough, at least those that you get in the drug store. Most places use wax that doesn't require strips at all. If they do, cold wax is not the way to go. The other thing is that hair should be particular length, and no longer. Sorry it was so bad :-(

I've done Brazillian and I have to agree - all off feels so clean and smooth! Defintely bring some Advil along and pop it just before you go in the room, it will take affect and hurt much less that way. Don't take it any earlier, it may increase your chances of bleeding (although don't let that scare you, its only a drop or two here and there IF at all) I do about once a month too. First time is the most stressful because you don't know what to expect, after that its about as stressful as having your eyebrows done. ANd you're doing the right thing - research before the big day. Good luck!

@Hayley: hahaha thanks for the hilarious reading material!! My sister actually bought those wax strip things a few years ago... she wanted to try waxing her legs. They were AWFUL!!! The wax just pealed off the strip and laid stuck on her leg. We couldn't do anything to get the wax off - thankfully it was winter so she was wearing jeans.. it took a good 3 weeks for all the wax to finally disappear. Learned my lesson through her to go to a professional!

@June: Thank you !!! This thread is making me a little more at ease to get the waxing done.

I always have the brazilian done ( which I've always known as everthing off front and back) and I L O V E I T ...I am not planning to shave againg anytime soon hahaha It's a little painful but definitely worth it and as you keep having it done it become less painful.. Should definitely give it a try =-)

Awesome - thanks for your input Dena!

Oh no too scared! good luck with that one.

Im going for my first brazilian on wens i am so nervious

I've done the brazillian. It's a lot better then shaving. Only reason I stopped was because I had to do some $ cut backs for the wedding :[ ...I'll start it up again a couple months prior to the wedding. It's not perfect or painless but it sure beats next day stubble.

All I can say is OUCH!!!!