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Champion June 2019

Consumption bar with a cap

Gen, on June 21, 2018 at 9:40 AM

So getting an “open bar” at our venue is extremely excessive ($20 per person PER HOUR) so there is no way we are paying that amount because we won’t get our money’s worth at all.
Our venue organizer recommended doing a consumption bar, so our guests don’t have to pay anything, and FH and I will (at the end) just pay per drink that was ordered. My only concern is, each drink is $10 (venue is definitely overcharging, but it is what it is) and we are having 100 guests, so if everyone has 2 drinks, that already comes out to $2000, not even including tax and tip! Our planner then recommended that we do a “consumption bar with a cap” so when and if the bar tab hits $2000, it becomes a cash bar.
We are having a lunchtime reception and many of our guests are not drinkers at all, but we do have a decent amount of people who do drink, and probably a few who will drink heavily. But i can’t be sure of this... it is possible we won’t even come close to the $2000 limit, but it’s also possible that one of FH’s old fraternity brothers will have 10 drinks before the cap is hit, and then my great uncle will want a drink later and will have to pay for it himself since the cap has been hit, which doesn’t seem fair at all!

So my question is this... is there an eloquent way to ask people (I was thinking maybe a sign, or even just saying something) politely to please have 2 drinks on us, but that if they want more than 2 to pay for it themselves so that it’s fair to the other guests? I don’t know how to do this without seeming stingy...

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132 Comments

Legend July 2019
MrsD · on June 21, 2018 at 11:00 AM
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I wouldn't put that at all. I'd just have a sign waiting that the bartender will put up when the cap is reached, and people can start paying. Generally, everyone will have their first drink right around the same time so everyone should get 1 drink. Past that, it's just whoever gets their first. I also don't think the venue would even know how to handle that, letting some people pay and some people drink on your tab?
Savvy September 2021
Jenny · on June 21, 2018 at 11:03 AM
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I work at a wedding venue where our drinks are around the same price, if not more. Our glasses of wine can hit $12, and our most expensive beer is $10, etc. Some of the open bars we have had at weddings can hit $7,000 very easily. However, I’ve seen people have an open bar for the first 2 to 3 hours, and anything after that is a cash bar. Whether you hit your $2,000 or not, you can switch to a cash bar after a certain amount of hours. And if you hit your mark before the end of your open bar, you can either switch right to cash bar a little early, or close the bar for a very short time, and have the bartenders let your guests know that when they open back up it will be cash bar. I’ve seen it all, and guests won’t be too upset at the end of the night. They’re still drinking in the end. It is not rude or impolite to have a cash bar, or to have everyone know ahead of time that there will be a limit to the open bar. People understand that weddings are expensive, especially when there is an open bar. Don’t be afraid to cap people off once you hit your budget!
Super October 2017
OrangeCrush · on June 21, 2018 at 11:07 AM
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Please no drink tickets. My first set of in laws tried to do that.....oy. Not a carnival. Stick with unlimited beer, wine, and a signature drink. Please no charging guests for drinks.
Expert April 2019
Little Star · on June 21, 2018 at 11:08 AM
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I think someone already mentioned this but can you close the bar once the cap has been reached? Another option is you could try to save up $1,000 more so the cap will be $3,000 and that way everyone gets about 4 drinks, one per hour of your reception which I think is reasonable.

If you can't swing it though, I wouldn’t stress too hard. It’s not an ideal situation but at least you are providing some, which is better than none! Unpopular opinion on WW but that’s how I feel. I would just inform people that it’s a limited open bar that could possibly switch to a cash bar. People will definitely be less annoyed if they know the situation upfront and are prepared. You can include it on your wedding website.
VIP January 2019
NVV2B · on June 21, 2018 at 11:13 AM
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Given your limitations I would stick with the current plan of the 2k cap and then switch to cash. I wouldn't do tickets, its kinda tacky. I would tell the few people you think will want a ton of drinks about the cap and to be mindful of other guests.

Is the cash bar - cash only? or do they accept credit cards? Because if they do not accept cards, you need to tell your guests ahead of time so they can be prepared. Most people do not carry cash anymore.

Honestly - I don't think you will go over your limit with your guest count and the time of day the wedding is.
Super October 2019
Jenna · on June 21, 2018 at 11:47 AM
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I would agree with a few people above me that it's best to just stick to the 2k cap and then switch to cash bar. Have a little sign done with the prices (or ask the venue if they have one to put out) if/when it switches to cash bar. People will be fine with it and like you said, you would hope your guest list would understand.
I recently went to a Bat Mitzvah with a cash bar only but a lot of us knew that the parent hosting was a single mom who did the very best she could and just simply couldn't afford the bar. I didn't have a problem with it at all and bought myself two glasses of wine. It was also a lunch time event and I didn't personally see anyone have more than one or two drinks. Maybe that's because they had to pay, but a lot of people had to drive afterwards (myself included) so spacing out a couple glasses of wine throughout the event was the absolute most I would've had either way. Try not to stress about it!
Master July 2018
Mcskipper · on June 21, 2018 at 11:53 AM
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Yeah, this math is good— if you’re dead set on a limit, I’d encourage you to find a little more money to put into it so that you might be able to be covering everyone afterall. **** makes a huge difference.

OP, reasonably how would this “fh mentioning it to his frat bros” plan work— even though here’s still money on the tab, they have to start paying once they’ve had their 2? But everyone else can have as many drinks as they please? These non-big drinkers will get to have 3 on your dime but the college aged friends get punished? (2 drinks over 4 hours is a relatively small number so even people who aren’t big drinkers may still go for a third [and be no where near trashed])
Honestly as tacky as drink tickets sound, I think that is astronomically better than singling out a group and asking them to pay extra when no one else is.

I would work on finding a little more money to add to the tab then hoping for the best
Devoted March 2019
AF412 · on June 21, 2018 at 12:00 PM
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You would definitely need to tell people ahead of time. I never carry cash.

If I walked up to a cash bar and couldn't use my card, I'd likely just leave the wedding and go elsewhere.

I assume other beverages are included for free? Tea, soda, punch, coffee?
Champion June 2019
Gen · on June 21, 2018 at 12:04 PM
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I don’t think paying for 2K worth of alcohol is treating people “poorly” that’s a huge exaggeration. I should hope my guests don’t feel this entitled.
Champion June 2019
Gen · on June 21, 2018 at 12:06 PM
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Yeah that’s what I want to do (let people know in advance) just trying to figure out how to go about telling people that politelt
Champion June 2019
Gen · on June 21, 2018 at 12:07 PM
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They also take credit cards at the bar so carrying cash wouldn’t be an issue
Super May 2018
Summer987 · on June 21, 2018 at 12:08 PM
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Can you increase the budget for the consumption bar to maybe $3,500 to $4,000?
Champion June 2019
Gen · on June 21, 2018 at 12:08 PM
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2K is already literally my month’s salary so it’s not possible to put more $ into drinks alone
Champion June 2019
Gen · on June 21, 2018 at 12:08 PM
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Our whole budget is 15K so that’s a little unproportional to how much should be spent on alcohol!
Master June 2016
Sarah · on June 21, 2018 at 12:10 PM
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Depending on your friends, I could see this going south. If some of H’s friends had been told to limit themselves because there’s a cap and we wanted things to be fair, they’d have gotten as many drinks as possible before the cap ran out just to be difficult.
Champion June 2019
Gen · on June 21, 2018 at 12:10 PM
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We literally chose the least expensive venue in our area that was still nice. If they don’t like how we order our priorities, they don’t have to come.
Super May 2018
Summer987 · on June 21, 2018 at 12:12 PM
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You maybe okay with your budget for drinks. I see your budget is $15k. We expected a lot more people to drink but they didn't. Even the ones that normally drink only had 1 or 2 drinks. We had a lot of beer and wine left over.
Champion June 2019
Gen · on June 21, 2018 at 12:14 PM
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Jeez everyone this post was not intended as a debate over how much money I have to spend on alcohol, nor to debate the order of my priorities at my wedding!

I stated before that we ARE doing the consumption bar with a 2K cap. I was simply asking for advice on how (or if) there is an eloquent way to notify people of this.
Champion June 2019
Gen · on June 21, 2018 at 12:17 PM
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Also I really hope my guests would not leave my wedding to go elsewhere because they have to pay for alcohol after we covered the first 2K! If anyone does that then it was a mistake to invite them!

Devoted March 2019
AF412 · on June 21, 2018 at 12:17 PM
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What if you shorten the reception by an hour, or even just close the bar an hour early? Then you likely wouldn't reach that cap.