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Gen
Champion June 2019

Consumption bar with a cap

Gen, on June 21, 2018 at 9:40 AM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 132

So getting an “open bar” at our venue is extremely excessive ($20 per person PER HOUR) so there is no way we are paying that amount because we won’t get our money’s worth at all. Our venue organizer recommended doing a consumption bar, so our guests don’t have to pay anything, and FH and I will (at...
So getting an “open bar” at our venue is extremely excessive ($20 per person PER HOUR) so there is no way we are paying that amount because we won’t get our money’s worth at all.
Our venue organizer recommended doing a consumption bar, so our guests don’t have to pay anything, and FH and I will (at the end) just pay per drink that was ordered. My only concern is, each drink is $10 (venue is definitely overcharging, but it is what it is) and we are having 100 guests, so if everyone has 2 drinks, that already comes out to $2000, not even including tax and tip! Our planner then recommended that we do a “consumption bar with a cap” so when and if the bar tab hits $2000, it becomes a cash bar.
We are having a lunchtime reception and many of our guests are not drinkers at all, but we do have a decent amount of people who do drink, and probably a few who will drink heavily. But i can’t be sure of this... it is possible we won’t even come close to the $2000 limit, but it’s also possible that one of FH’s old fraternity brothers will have 10 drinks before the cap is hit, and then my great uncle will want a drink later and will have to pay for it himself since the cap has been hit, which doesn’t seem fair at all!

So my question is this... is there an eloquent way to ask people (I was thinking maybe a sign, or even just saying something) politely to please have 2 drinks on us, but that if they want more than 2 to pay for it themselves so that it’s fair to the other guests? I don’t know how to do this without seeming stingy...

132 Comments

  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    Wow, you guys are calling ME rude!

    Thanks for the helpful advice! I hope you have a great day too!
  • Munchkin9218
    Master September 2018
    Munchkin9218 ·
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    Exactly. 2K will cover cocktail hour MAYBE. Which means the drinks for the entirely of the reception is foisted as an expenses on your guests. That's inconsiderate honestly.

  • LB
    Champion November 2016
    LB ·
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    What was rude? I mean, the idea of making your guests pay is rude, but you asked what you should say and I was just giving advice based on your demeanor in this thread...

  • Mrs.Whooooo
    Master May 2017
    Mrs.Whooooo ·
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    Just keep in mind this may make people leave early. Not everyone carries cash to weddings, or they might pull it out of your gift. I’ve seen it happen.

    People spend a lot of money to attend a wedding so they generally aren’t happy when they have to pay to party, so it comes out of your gift
  • AF412
    Devoted March 2019
    AF412 ·
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    Just put it on your website, people will decline, bar tab will be cheaper, problem solved.

  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    I’m deleting my account because of you guys all ganging up on me about something I didn’t ask for advice on. This site is meant for SUPPORT not for attacking. I hope you feel good about yourselves.
  • starsinwaves
    VIP November 2018
    starsinwaves ·
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    If grandpa wants cake, he can pay $5 for it. He doesn't have to have cake if $5 is such a big deal.

  • Sarah
    Master June 2016
    Sarah ·
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    This isn’t a support group, and people are allowed to give advice based on any information you share. People are trying to make you see the error in your plan. If you can’t or won’t see it, I guess no one can do anything about it, but this is a planning forum based on etiquette.
  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    Sarcasm isn’t good etiquette
  • IGotTheD
    Dedicated April 2019
    IGotTheD ·
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    How do you plan on keeping track of who's had 2 drinks and who hasn't? What about kids with sodas?

    This isn't a good idea, but if you decide to go through with it you need to think out the logistics.
  • J
    Savvy September 2021
    Jenny ·
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    It is not rude to have guests pay for their excessive drinks. A reception is mainly for food and for talking and for having fun with the newlyweds. Not about drinks. It is an afternoon reception. She is paying for $2,000 worth of drinks. $2,000. If she makes it pre-known that after that number has been reached, that it will be a cash bar, people will know to pace themselves. As PP have mentioned, your guests have already spent money to come to your wedding... okay, fine, but $10 for a drink is not going to be a big deal if they’ve already had a couple drinks. I work at a wedding venue. People DO NOT CARE if there is a cash bar after they’ve already had a few drinks on someone else. They don’t care. And if they DO they do not have to drink. They can have sodas or water or lemonade or tea. It is the MIDDLE OF THE DAY.
  • Tpatb
    Master August 2019
    Tpatb ·
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    You can email them if you feel the responses are inappropriate. You can also flag comments..the emailing may serve better. I’m not sure as I haven’t done it. I’ve found you’ll grow tough skin here. Lol
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