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Champion June 2019

Consumption bar with a cap

Gen, on June 21, 2018 at 9:40 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 132

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So getting an “open bar” at our venue is extremely excessive ($20 per person PER HOUR) so there is no way we are paying that amount because we won’t get our money’s worth at all.
Our venue organizer recommended doing a consumption bar, so our guests don’t have to pay anything, and FH and I will (at the end) just pay per drink that was ordered. My only concern is, each drink is $10 (venue is definitely overcharging, but it is what it is) and we are having 100 guests, so if everyone has 2 drinks, that already comes out to $2000, not even including tax and tip! Our planner then recommended that we do a “consumption bar with a cap” so when and if the bar tab hits $2000, it becomes a cash bar.
We are having a lunchtime reception and many of our guests are not drinkers at all, but we do have a decent amount of people who do drink, and probably a few who will drink heavily. But i can’t be sure of this... it is possible we won’t even come close to the $2000 limit, but it’s also possible that one of FH’s old fraternity brothers will have 10 drinks before the cap is hit, and then my great uncle will want a drink later and will have to pay for it himself since the cap has been hit, which doesn’t seem fair at all!

So my question is this... is there an eloquent way to ask people (I was thinking maybe a sign, or even just saying something) politely to please have 2 drinks on us, but that if they want more than 2 to pay for it themselves so that it’s fair to the other guests? I don’t know how to do this without seeming stingy...

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132 Comments

Latest activity by Tpatb, on June 21, 2018 at 2:57 PM

Master July 2017
Going to the chapel · on June 21, 2018 at 9:48 AM
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No, there is no eloquent way to say what you wrote. Limit the bar to beer, wine and a signature drink.
Master September 2018
Munchkin9218 · on June 21, 2018 at 9:49 AM
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No there is no polite way to do this. You need to either make sure you have the funds to pay for whatever the end amount could potentially be or you need to buck up and pay for the open bar per person. your venue sounds flexible - ask if you can do a limited open bar. For a lunch reception you could do beer, wine, bloody mary's and mimosas. That way they may be able to bring the PP open bar down or do a consumption bar for just those drinks. Either way you need to pay for all the drinks for the entire event if you truly want it to be fair.

I will say in my area 20$ PP for open bar is not that expensive. The majority of the venues around me that did not include it in the PP price it was anywhere from 20-35$ pp.
Super August 2018
augbride · on June 21, 2018 at 9:50 AM
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$10 a drink??? That is insane! You must be in an area of High COL. Unfortunately, no there is not nice way to say that. I agree that you could limit it to beer and wine to save some $$$
Master September 2018
NikNak · on June 21, 2018 at 9:51 AM
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I agree with PP's, as expensive as it sounds, doing the open bar option sounds like the cheaper choice.
Champion June 2019
Gen · on June 21, 2018 at 9:51 AM
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No it’s $20 pp and per hour. So for 100 guests for 4 hours it comes out to $8,000
Champion June 2019
Gen · on June 21, 2018 at 9:52 AM
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Actually the venue charges $7 for mixed drinks, $9 for beer and $10 for a glass of wine so I would prefer them to order mixed drinks than wine or beer even lol
Expert September 2018
Tia_Fred · on June 21, 2018 at 9:53 AM
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If ur having 100 ppl then $20 per person for open bar is $2,000 so do the open bar
Expert September 2018
Tia_Fred · on June 21, 2018 at 9:54 AM
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Oh sorry I just realized its per hour lol
Champion June 2019
Gen · on June 21, 2018 at 9:55 AM
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To clarify on all of this, doing an open bar is NOT an option for us, we have a $15,000 budget and doing the open bar would cost us literally $10,000 for a 4 hour reception plus an hour cocktail hour!

We are set on doing a consumption bar with a cap, it’s a lunchtime reception and I really can’t imagine people need more than 2 drinks at 1pm! We are 100% setting a $2,000 cap because we can’t afford more than that in our budget, so regardless of how I decide to handle this we’re spending the same amount of money.

That being said, after setting the $2,000 cap, I’m trying to figure out if we should just say nothing and hope we don’t hit the cap, or nicely ask people to not get more than 2 drinks on us to be mindful of other guests!
Expert July 2018
FutureMrsHarris18 · on June 21, 2018 at 9:56 AM
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There isn't really a polite way to say this but I understand your view point. You will either need to do a cash bar (which many think is impolite) or you will have to just do the consumption bar. I think the consumption bar maybe your best bet. Especially since not everyone invited drinks.
Champion June 2019
Gen · on June 21, 2018 at 9:56 AM
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Yeah $20 per person would be no issue, but it’s per hour lol it comes out to $10,000 which is 2/3 of our budget
Super August 2018
augbride · on June 21, 2018 at 9:56 AM
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Yikes yikes yikes that is a ton of money. $9 for a beer, even a craft beer is a bit outrageous. Were you aware of the alcohol prices when you booked your venue? I would still do the consumption bar over the per person as there is no way each guest will drink an average of 8 drinks.
Are any of the 100 guests children?
Champion June 2019
Gen · on June 21, 2018 at 9:57 AM
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Well doing the consumption bar with a cap is a combination of these 2 which is why our planner recommended it. That way it’s a consumption bar for a while but if it breaks $2,000 then it becomes a cash bar. We can’t afford to risk how high the consumption bar could go, and I feel like people will appreciate this more than it just being a cash bar from the beginning!
Champion June 2019
Gen · on June 21, 2018 at 9:59 AM
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A few cousins plus my brother are under 21 but I think only like 5 or 6 people total. Then my grandparents and my uncle don’t drink. So I guess we have about 10 people who won’t have anything, so if we set a $2000 limit then a few people could end up having 3 drinks
Master September 2018
Munchkin9218 · on June 21, 2018 at 10:00 AM
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You cannot ask people to not have more than 2 drinks for a four hour reception. Most places will tell you to budget for 2 drinks the first hour and 1 drink per guest every hour after that. So if the most expensive drink is 10$ you need to budget like every person will have 5 10$ drinks which would be to budget 5K anyway. But if you're not willing/abl to do that You can set a 2K cap but just be aware guests will be VERY frustrated and upset if that cap gets hit in two hours and no one can drink after because no one brought cash to pay for a bar.
Devoted August 2018
Melissa · on June 21, 2018 at 10:01 AM
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I’d try to do the open bar if you can swing some money from another area if your budget. 4 hours is a long time. People could potentially order a lot of drinks. One option for lowering the price would be to close the bar for an hour while you’re eating/doing toasts.
Champion June 2019
Gen · on June 21, 2018 at 10:01 AM
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Tbh the main thing I’m worried about is some of FH’s friends are huge drinkers and I’m worried they’re going to hit the cap immediately and then my relatives will end up having to pay for all their own drinks which is really unfair.

Now I’m thinking actually maybe I can just have FH talk to some of his friends like very informally before the wedding and explain the situation and tell them like, if you plan to get plastered please pay for your own drinks out of respect to the other guests lol
Champion June 2019
Gen · on June 21, 2018 at 10:02 AM
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It’s lunch though. And an open bar would be $10,000
Champion June 2019
Gen · on June 21, 2018 at 10:03 AM
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I get that and I wish we could just pay for unlimited drinks but we’re already breaking the bank to begin with and I feel like it’s better for us to at least pay for 2K rather than just having it be a cash bar to begin with.
And honestly I seriously doubt people will have 2 drinks within the first hour! Cocktail hour starts at 12:30 lol how much are people going to drink that early?!

Champion June 2019
Gen · on June 21, 2018 at 10:04 AM
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12:30 in the afternoon, if that wasn’t clear