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Mrs.K
VIP June 2017

Childrens meals

Mrs.K, on February 27, 2017 at 12:36 PM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 190

I am including a small separate enclosure card in the invitations of the few families whose children are invited (family and the flower girl/her brother). They are strictly to inform them that we are providing a childrens meal so that we dont have to add a meal option to all 65 RSVP cards. Would it...

I am including a small separate enclosure card in the invitations of the few families whose children are invited (family and the flower girl/her brother). They are strictly to inform them that we are providing a childrens meal so that we dont have to add a meal option to all 65 RSVP cards. Would it ve okay to just say 'A childrens meal of Chicken Fingers and fries will be provided'. Or should it say something different?

190 Comments

  • StPaulGal
    Master July 2017
    StPaulGal ·
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    As a kid I ate exactly what my parents ate. I cooked with my mom from the time I could first stand up on a stool next to the counter. We would go shopping at ethnic groceries and find the most exotic things in the store and figure out how to cook them together. When we went to a new restaurant my favorite thing was always seeing what things might be on the menu that I had not had a chance to try yet. I am relatively certain that the first time I ate a chicken finger was when I went away to college and was introduced to the concept of "drunk food." If I was a guest at a formal event where my parents were served gourmet multi-course meals and I was stuck with a plate of chicken fingers and fries, I would have been confused and hurt and left hungry. That doesn't make me a "snobby kid." That makes me THE SAME AS ANY OTHER GUEST.

    If your caterer charges $200 per person and you feel that someone is not worth a $200 dinner to you, then you don't invite that person. This is true whether they are 6 or 60.

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  • SleepytheDwarf
    Master June 2017
    SleepytheDwarf ·
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    Sorry, but your "logic" sucks.

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  • french horse
    Master October 2017
    french horse ·
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    @StPaulGal- we grew up very similar. But you know what my parents told me if I turned up my nose at something that someone was nice enough to make for me or pay for me to eat (like in the case of a wedding or family event)?

    Either eat it and get over it or go hungry. I was never "hurt" that I didn't get the same meal as my parents because my parents made it abundantly clear to me that there is certain boundary between child and adult, that to some people that boundary was different than in our family, but that I had to respect it and it wasn't intentional, it was just the way it was.

    If I offend FH's baby cousins because they had to eat chicken fingers and not the wild-caught salmon that their mom got... Sorry kids. You're guna get disappointed a lot in life.

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  • TreeShade
    Master September 2016
    TreeShade ·
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    I need a "3 course meal" every meal. Gotta maintain my girlish figure.

    This summer body isn't going to make itself.

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  • LB
    Champion November 2016
    LB ·
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    @Flighty, Using the word "logic" to describe SPG's thinking process in this is definitely stretching it lol.

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  • MrsHazel
    VIP February 2017
    MrsHazel ·
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    @StPaulGal - that's great for you that you had that experience but your experience is not the norm. The fact that you wouldn't have eaten it and left hungry, does in fact make you a "snobby kid". Suck it up and eat what you're given. That's how I grew up, eat what's on your plate or you don't eat at all. Real world buttercup.

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  • Mrs.K
    VIP June 2017
    Mrs.K ·
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    All I wanted was advice on the wording!!! Kind of laughing that this has turned into a war!

    For the record, my 2 year old isn't even a huge fan of chicken fingers...He'll eat fries for days though.

    Like I said before...All kids are under 4, and this was the least messy option...

    Although I'm not rethinking and considering reaching out the the parents to ASK if chicken fingers and fries is okay.

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  • LB
    Champion November 2016
    LB ·
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    @Hazel Exactly, like grandma used to say "If you don't want to eat what I made, you don't have to eat"

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  • french horse
    Master October 2017
    french horse ·
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    @Mrs.K- I'd find it very considerate if I were a parent and you picked chicken fingers for the kid's meal. Your logic behind it is sound, so I'd go ahead with your plan Smiley smile

    ETA: And as for what my parents would say to me when I got upset about it the one or two times before I learned...

    "Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about."

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  • SleepytheDwarf
    Master June 2017
    SleepytheDwarf ·
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    Haha @LB that's why I put it in quotes!

    @MrsK sorry your thread turned into a shit show. But I stand by my earlier advice - just reach out to the parents and ask if their kids have any dietary restrictions.

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  • TreeShade
    Master September 2016
    TreeShade ·
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    Lb is on Fire...

    My grandma said the same thing.

    ETA: "you get what you get and you bets not pitch no fits...or that's your ass"

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  • 2B_Mrs.J.T.
    VIP September 2017
    2B_Mrs.J.T. ·
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    Ah OP. That makes a huge difference if your kids are under 4. Chicken fingers are less messy. They won't care. I was going to make another post about having options for the older in puberty kids.

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  • Erin Wood
    Master July 2017
    Erin Wood ·
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    My intent was just to let the kids decide. Kids meals are only for 12 and under but if a 5 year old wants steak then let them eat steak. HaHa!! Thanks WW for pointing this out before I ordered my RSVP's :-)

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  • MrsHazel
    VIP February 2017
    MrsHazel ·
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    @MrsK - sorry your post got hijacked! But I agree with @flighty, since there's only a few just reach out by phone. So much easier than dealing with inserts.

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  • Rachel DellaPorte
    Rachel DellaPorte ·
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    With all of this talk about chicken, I am literally craving the Chicken Tempura that's served at my husband's favorite sushi restaurant. I'm obsessed with it.

    However you decide to announce it, OP, may I suggest you call the meal "Chicken Tenders" and not "Chicken Fingers". The "fingers" label always make me think of those ugly chicken claws breaded and deep fried. Of course, my 7 year old grandson doesn't care what you call them -- he loves them. He wouldn't touch his mother's filet mignon if there were Chicken Fingers on his own plate. Actually, I can't think of many customary adult wedding entrees that would appeal to him.

    I think Erin Wood did it beautifully (she included a pic of her RSVP card a few pages back). That's exactly the way I would do it. You're talking about a relatively small number of people, OP. If any of them have any questions about the children's menu (or allergy issues), they can attach a note with the RSVP or simply text or call you. If the parents have a good reason for not wanting their kids to eat what you're offering (allergies, they hate chicken, etc.), then you ask the parents to let you speak to your caterer so that you can come up with another option. But do it on a case by case basis. My guess is that the kids attending your wedding will be eating what most couples provide for kids which is...wait for it...Chicken Fingers and Fries.

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  • Paige L.
    Super September 2021
    Paige L. ·
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    I wouldn't ask, Mrs. K! As Nike says, just do it. If the kids have dietary restrictions, the parents can contact you.

    ETA: Spelling

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  • Punkin Beer
    Master October 2017
    Punkin Beer ·
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    Ughhhhhhhhhh...my dinner is beer infused. Should the kids get that?

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  • Paige L.
    Super September 2021
    Paige L. ·
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    @Punkin, it might calm them down for the reception, so maybe!

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  • StPaulGal
    Master July 2017
    StPaulGal ·
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    I am still waiting to hear why it is "illogical" to abhor the idea of singling out certain wedding guests for inferior treatment. I am not accepting answers like "tough shit, they'll live" or "life's not fair." Why would you treat your invited guests that way?

    And for the record, hypothetical young me would have had to try the chicken fingers, since always trying new things was a household rule. But I wouldn't have been forced to eat them if I didn't like them since that particular rule only applied to healthy foods. At home it was my responsibility to serve myself a reasonable portion and then finish it.

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  • MrsHazel
    VIP February 2017
    MrsHazel ·
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    HOW IS GIVING A GOD DAMN CHILD A CHILDREN'S MEAL CONSIDERED GIVING THEM INFERIOR TREATMENT?!!?!?!

    It's RIGHT there in the damn name, CHILDREN'S meal.

    I can't with you, I really can't.

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