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Mrs.K
VIP June 2017

Childrens meals

Mrs.K, on February 27, 2017 at 12:36 PM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 190

I am including a small separate enclosure card in the invitations of the few families whose children are invited (family and the flower girl/her brother). They are strictly to inform them that we are providing a childrens meal so that we dont have to add a meal option to all 65 RSVP cards. Would it...

I am including a small separate enclosure card in the invitations of the few families whose children are invited (family and the flower girl/her brother). They are strictly to inform them that we are providing a childrens meal so that we dont have to add a meal option to all 65 RSVP cards. Would it ve okay to just say 'A childrens meal of Chicken Fingers and fries will be provided'. Or should it say something different?

190 Comments

  • Elizabeth
    Master December 2016
    Elizabeth ·
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    @Lucinda either include a child's meal option on your RSVP card or call and ask the parents individually. I had a few babies as well. Only one ordered the child's meal for her baby. The other two sets of parents said their baby can eat off their plates.

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  • VC
    Master May 2017
    VC ·
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    @lucinda - ask your caterer or vendor. Almost every restaurant we asked when venue shopping said that most kids under 3 will most likely not need a meal and most parents just give them food from their plate. Having said that, we are offering a kids meal to every child. Although I am fairly certain newborns won't end up requesting one.

    We will contact each parent individually to confirm what is required: booster or high chair or kids meal etc.

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  • Laura2.0
    VIP March 2017
    Laura2.0 ·
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    I'm just loling at the thought of my 5 year old at a wedding saying mom its so unfair you get prime rib and I have to eat chicken fingers......seriously kids should get kid portion meals b/c 1 they barely eat at functions 2 they can be picky eaters. Parents with kids that have dietary restrictions are prepared for their children at functions. They'll reach out and tell you about any allergies.

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  • Kaylie
    Master May 2016
    Kaylie ·
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    @Elizabeth thanks, but I'm still feeling pretty confident in this one generalization. I'm super happy for you that you had such a sophisticated 9 year old at your wedding. But I think most of us on here agree that in general, most children will not eat enough (if any) of an adult meal for it to be worth it. And speaking of generalizations, not all caterers can separate alcohol from the adult price. At my venue, it was all a package deal so it was either a kids meal at $25 a plate, or an adult meal with open bar for $80 a plate. There was no middle ground for those who wanted an adult meal but weren't of drinking age yet.

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  • Paige L.
    Super September 2021
    Paige L. ·
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    I was one of those sophisticated 9 year-olds who would eat anything and everything, no matter how fancy it was. Seafood, steak, brussel sprouts, you name it, I ate it.

    You know what, when I was 9 I went to weddings that served me chicken fingers and I survived. Yeah, I might have thought to myself that the beef tartare looked good, but I was super excited to be at a wedding and eating chicken fingers because I was 9. Children don't need adult meals.

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  • A. L.
    Master July 2017
    A. L. ·
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    @GymRat, well, our Italian restaurant reception definitely isn't offering chicken fingers or sliders.

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  • GymRat
    Master May 2017
    GymRat ·
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    I didn't mean at YOUR wedding A.L., I meant in general.

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  • MNBride
    Master June 2017
    MNBride ·
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    My venue offers chicken fingers and fries as the kids meal but they will make something else if they need to. We are having a buffet so there will be no meal options on the RSVP cards. We asked the parents of the 5 kids individually if chicken fingers and fries were ok, SHOCKINGLY they were all fine with it.

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  • SleepytheDwarf
    Master June 2017
    SleepytheDwarf ·
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    @Gymmie the kids at AL's wedding will be eating braised oxtail and squid ink pasta. Obvi.

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  • Blair Waldorf
    Master October 2017
    Blair Waldorf ·
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    I'm pretty sure none of the kids invited to my wedding would even eat the adult choices. They are all way to picky and would maybe eat 1-2 bites and then sit and be miserable.

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  • Erin Wood
    Master July 2017
    Erin Wood ·
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    We added the option at the bottom of our RSVP. That way if they want the adult option they have a choice.


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  • SleepytheDwarf
    Master June 2017
    SleepytheDwarf ·
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    @EW I like those RSVP cards!

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  • Dreamer
    Master May 2013
    Dreamer ·
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    Our venue charged the full, adult rate ($175 - a few years ago), for all guests 13 and up. There was no discount for 5 hours of open bar. Guests 12 and under who requested an adult entrée = full adult rate. I could just see younger guests filling-up on the cocktail hour food and dessert bar, and not touching the 4 plated courses.

    That kind of pricing structure was used on about half the venues we researched. (At ours, a kids' meal would have been about half the adult price).

    What some posters have discussed can be true. I attended a wedding a few years before our own. We ended up sitting at a table with 2 uninvited kids - about 7 and 10. Their mother refused the chicken tenders/fries plates, the serving staff brought to them, and said loudly "my children eat adult food." Their parents took them up to the buffet and the kids' plates were left to rot, on the table.

    It took us about 1 minute to decide that our wedding would be age 21 and up, like almost every other wedding we attend.

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  • Yasmina
    Master November 2015
    Yasmina ·
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    EW: I'll have the prosciutto chicken please. Smiley winking

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  • StPaulGal
    Master July 2017
    StPaulGal ·
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    I am shocked how many people think it is okay to tier your guests by age.

    Why not go further?

    -The elderly tend to have smaller appetites, so anyone over 65 gets a small, frozen, deep-fried meal because hey, it would be a waste if grandma only eats 2 bites of her steak.

    -Everyone under a certain income level gets served crap because hey, they won't know how to appreciate it anyway

    -Anyone with British or Scandinavian roots gets a bland, processed, inferior meal because those cultures are stereotyped as not liking bold flavors.

    -Women get worse meals than men because male bodies typically need more calories in a day so it would be a waste to give a full meal to a lady.

    Tiering. Your. Guests. Is. Not. Okay.

    All. Guests. Must. Be. Hosted. Equally.

    If you choose to invite children, they are your guests and must be treated as such. I am not inviting children to my wedding. That is always an option. But don't invite them and treat them like shit. Offering the option of a kids' meal is great. Excluding certain guests from access to the same real food as the rest of your guests is not great. If you can't afford to provide all of your guests with the same catered food, then you can't afford your wedding.

    Take age out of the equation for a moment and imagine saying, "No way am I spending $X on dinner for Cousin Claude. He probably won't appreciate it or finish his whole meal anyway. I'll just tell him he has to have a hot dog while everyone else has a three course gourmet dinner. And if he doesn't like it, tough." In what universe is that okay?

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  • SleepytheDwarf
    Master June 2017
    SleepytheDwarf ·
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    I'm sorry, @StPaulGal, but that's a ridiculous fucking extension.

    I stand by my statement that a 6yo does not need a three-course gourmet dinner.

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  • ELK
    Master March 2018
    ELK ·
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    Ummm.....


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  • San
    VIP September 2017
    San ·
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    Hahahahaha


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  • 2B_Mrs.J.T.
    VIP September 2017
    2B_Mrs.J.T. ·
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    Well I guess my wedding will be full of snobby kids.

    Now.. my kids loves chicken fingers and French fries, but you stick that kid next to me and my meal is different, especially if it's red meat, and he -will be begging me for mine. He eats a lot.

    I think this is also a "know your ages", but parents should at least be given the option of alternate kids meal choice. A 4 year old will def be eating chicken fingers.

    Now at 11, I was mentally old enough to decide if I want prosciutto chicken or chicken fingers.

    Either way. Just offer and let the parents decide. @EW I like those RSVP cards, because I can add an adult meal for a 12 year old growing boy. I don't know if that was your intent, but it gives options.

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  • MrsHazel
    VIP February 2017
    MrsHazel ·
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    @StPaulGal - seriously? You took it to a level that is ridiculous. It's totally fine to offer a CHILD a CHILDRENS MEAL. I will always stand by my opinion that children don't need an adult meal.

    How many 4 year olds do you know that are going to be like "Yay, mommy I get to have proscuitto and jarlsberg chicken!!!!" C'mon now. A 4 year old wants a meal for a 4 year old, unless they don't want anything at all, which happens a lot. One bite and "mommy I'm full!"

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