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Mrs.K
VIP June 2017

Childrens meals

Mrs.K, on February 27, 2017 at 12:36 PM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 190

I am including a small separate enclosure card in the invitations of the few families whose children are invited (family and the flower girl/her brother). They are strictly to inform them that we are providing a childrens meal so that we dont have to add a meal option to all 65 RSVP cards. Would it...

I am including a small separate enclosure card in the invitations of the few families whose children are invited (family and the flower girl/her brother). They are strictly to inform them that we are providing a childrens meal so that we dont have to add a meal option to all 65 RSVP cards. Would it ve okay to just say 'A childrens meal of Chicken Fingers and fries will be provided'. Or should it say something different?

190 Comments

  • S&P
    Master January 2017
    S&P ·
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    I definitely didn't give the kids at my wedding the option of an adult meal and honestly that suggestion is ridiculous. To answer the original question I just texted their parents (my brother and sister) and told them what options there were for kids meals and had them pick one. We only got to pick one for the wedding so luckily they both agreed with one of the choices

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  • Yasmina
    Master November 2015
    Yasmina ·
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    As a general rule, i'm usually in the camp of "let kids eat what the adults are eating."

    BUT.

    At a wedding?

    Nah.

    Most of the kids I know are good eaters, and will try whatever...but still, you're paying a LOT of money per plate for an adult sized portion for a child to eat...

    I wouldn't bother with enclosures. Just reach out to the parents and let them know, find out if there are any food sensitivities, etc, and serve the chicken fingers.

    hell, sometimes I'd rather eat the chicken fingers myself. Smiley winking

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  • A. L.
    Master July 2017
    A. L. ·
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    I don't think the suggestion is ridiculous. Maybe my nieces and nephews are strange, because they wouldn't eat a kid's meal. [But our venue is a restaurant and isn't offering that anyway.]

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  • GymRat
    Master May 2017
    GymRat ·
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    How old are they @AL?

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  • Elizabeth
    Master December 2016
    Elizabeth ·
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    I considered the children I invited to be my guests just as much as the adults I invited.

    Our RSVP cards included a meal selection: beef, chicken, veggie, children's meal. All but one family chose children's meals for their kids. One chose an adult meal and I ate the cost. The child was 9 years old and the parents don't like him to have fried foods. He ate every course and it was fine. This is something we took into account when we decided to have children at the wedding.

    FYI, caterers aren't stupid. You will not have to pay for an open bar for a child, even if he/she eats an adult meal.

    @Kaylie you should stick to your rule of no generalizations.

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  • VC
    Master May 2017
    VC ·
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    @AL - the challenge is quantity and type of food. It's rare that children eat the volume that adults eat and it's rare that kids dislike children menu options. Granted not all like chicken fingers. But pasta and salad and a dessert seems pretty good for kids.

    Not all kids like exotic fish or meats and veggies along with the volume that comes with it.

    There just isn't value in there.

    All the kids at my wedding will be 6 and under. Well one is like 11 and my fiance is insisting he eats a kids meal because the child is picky and doesn't eat a lot at home. We visit them enough to see what his habits are. We have about 10 kids at the wedding, that's like $1000+ in savings.

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  • AD2AP
    VIP June 2018
    AD2AP ·
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    I think the chicken fingers and fries option is perfectly fine, the couple children at my wedding will be having an adult meal because its only a couple kids in my wedding party that are going to be there.

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  • Kathryn
    VIP August 2016
    Kathryn ·
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    We did an insert to families of kids under 10 with that information, and we also asked to be notified of any dietary issues for kids on the card as well.

    I am team kids meal. There was no way I was spending $92 per kid for them to have five bites of a steak. I asked about this during my wedding because we had a family return an RSVP card marking steak for their children & it was firmly divided between people saying kids are kids & can eat chicken fingers, and then people saying "oh God no, not processed food." It's one meal & they will survive.

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  • AD2AP
    VIP June 2018
    AD2AP ·
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    @AL and I'm sure the parents will give them the two bites they are going to eat off their plates if they won't eat the chicken. Not a big deal.

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  • Mrs.K
    VIP June 2017
    Mrs.K ·
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    So, all of the kids are under 4. One is a vegan (because her mom is...I will be asking about a kids sized vegan meal for her).

    The other kids meals that are offered are sliders, Mac n cheese, and pizza.

    I picked chicken fingers because I know from having a toddler that they are by far the least messy option..Anything with red sauce or that is cheesy is a no go if you want to keep them clean!

    It is completely up to the parents if they want to bring the kids with them or not, and if someone reached out and said 'hey my kid doesn't eat chicken fingers', I'd figure something out.

    But as PPs have said...I'm not spending $60 on a filet for a 3 year old. (Our venue is a la carte pricing. So the entree price is ONLY the actual dinner meal...Bar and cocktail hour are all separate).

    My thoughts were to at least let the parents know that there was a kids meal being provided for their child/Ren.

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  • 2B_Mrs.J.T.
    VIP September 2017
    2B_Mrs.J.T. ·
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    I think you should talk with your caterer about having a full kid sized portion meal, at a child rate.

    I don't think kids/parents should be given the only option of a "kids meal" of chicken tenders and fries. I don't think you should pay $$$ to have a full adult meal for a child either. The kids at our wedding will be eating the same thing as the adults, but in child sized portions, at a child $ rate, and will have the same menu options.

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  • A. L.
    Master July 2017
    A. L. ·
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    @GymRat, 7, two 5 year olds and a 3 year old. I don't think any of them have ever had a chicken finger.

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  • AD2AP
    VIP June 2018
    AD2AP ·
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    @Kathryn what did you say to those people who marked steak for their kids? just wondering how to handle a situation like that.

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  • SleepytheDwarf
    Master June 2017
    SleepytheDwarf ·
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    ^^ I call bullshit.

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  • JustPlainCat
    VIP September 2016
    JustPlainCat ·
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    I added the Children's Meal option to the RSVP cards. They could choose at the table from three different options. Two out the seven kids (ages 10 and 11) opted for regular meals. In the whole grand scheme of things, it really wasn't a big deal to me.

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  • xray12280
    Master June 2017
    xray12280 ·
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    I think how you are wording it is perfect. We are not inviting children, but I did hand right kids meal on the rsvp card to the flower girl's family.

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  • Lucy
    Dedicated August 2017
    Lucy ·
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    Not to hijack the thread, but at what age should you plan on ordering a meal for a child? a lot of the children at our wedding are actually babies, and i'm not sure whether to order them a kids meal or not. should i just ask each of the individual parents?

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  • french horse
    Master October 2017
    french horse ·
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    @A.L. - I was like your nieces/nephews growing up for a bit - my mother was very into health-focused, fresh foods and did not serve us frozen or fried or pre-packaged meals. Probably until I was about 6 or 7.

    That being said, you know what she would've said if we were at a wedding and the kid's meal was chicken fingers?

    EAT IT. She had (has) enough self-awareness to understand why a kid's meal is offered and that a meal of chicken fingers wasn't going to kill us - or, if I had turned my nose up, that I'm not going to keel over because I missed one meal.

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  • Sara
    Master April 2017
    Sara ·
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    This was a deciding factor for an adult only wedding! My venue charges $55 for a plate of chicken fingers. INSANE! I am only having my nieces and nephews in the wedding. # of them are under the age of 6 and will be leaving after the ceremony since it will be bedtime by then. My one niece is 11 almost 12 and will be staying. She is getting an adult meal because I have seen her eat more than me at most meals so she will be fine with it.

    I'm team kids meal, but my venue was insanely priced for chicken fingers.

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  • GymRat
    Master May 2017
    GymRat ·
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    Oh, come on @AL. Kids that young?? Well they need to eat chicken fingers lol.

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