Cheating Bride?

When my best friend was cheating on her husband I told her that her husband was wonderful and I would never say a bad word about him and she was never to say a bad word about him to me. I did not tell him, but she knew I was coming to visit so she told him. She does not speak to me saying I took his side. It has been years.

@mc4dj13 hahahaha I mean it's really hard to make me blush...so..yeah...

I do understand that it could reflect on me as i'm the only person she's told, you know you always have that one friend that just listens to you and never judges, that's me!! unfortunately I think i'm just sad for her hubby and sad that she feels she needs this person in her life to make her feel special.

I think instead of cutting her off or giving her a lecture i'll dig to see what's really going on in her little peanut brain.

Maybe they have an open relationship? I am polyamorous with my fiancé and this seems actually normal to me.

I think if it was an open relationship, the girl wouldn't be hiding this from the FH.... I'd flat out tell her this is stupid and immature. Either poop or get off the damn pot.

I agree with Amy V.

If this girl is so close to you, why didn't you say something like; "WTF are you marrying your fiance for?" when she first told you about it, instead of waiting until AFTER they were already married.

I know if this was one of my friends, I'd have a HUGE problem with it, and I'd have to tell them I absolutely thought it was wrong and they need to make it right. I don't know if I could even keep hanging out with my best friend if I found out they were behaving that way with NO remorse or shame about it. That's gross.

@CostumedBride, if they were truly polyamorous, why would she have to text in secret? I think the biggest red flag is the secrecy of what she's doing.

@Renee, you can try to figure out what she's thinking, but I really think that will serve no purpose. If she doesn't want to stop, she won't; if the husband finds out, she's quite likely to say you knew about it; once your name gets in the middle of everything, it's going to suck for you.

You say it makes you blush and you don't seem to like it, so don't discuss it. Tell her to stop telling you about it. Talk to her about anything else until you're blue in the face. Lecturing or trying to figure her out are unlikely to lead to any positive results.

Oh I must have missed the part about it being a secret.

Filthy cheating trap? woah ladies. * backs away slowly*

All I know is she wouldn't be standing up for me at my wedding. We wouldn't be on the same page as far as marriage.

Anywho, I would be brutally honest with her and tell her she is a ho and to cut it out. Shit, if we are that close I would really give it to her.

While I respect everyone's opinion, I don't think a group of newlyweds or engaged ladies was the right place for me to ask for advice on this matter. I'll trust my instinct and always be her friend no matter what and just keep telling her to keep me out of it

It's sexting. 14 year old sexts. She's an adult. It's dumb of her to do so when she has the real thing there. There's obviously something not right between them...or just her.

Take yourself out of your position and think of how you would react to someone cheating, on the night of their wedding, and basically every day since.

Filthy cheating trap was nice, in my opinion. I think cheating, in any capacity is for cowards and well....less than classy women.

If you're hiding it from your SO, it's wrong.

@Renee, for lack of a better term, she's at least having an emotional affair with another man. Her husband is working hard at their marriage and she's already checked out. She's keeping this guy a secret, so her poor husband is working and working and seeing no results and wondering why.

I fail to see why Jaime saying she should keep her "filthy cheating trap" shut, as in not talk about it, is an issue. She's cheating, she shouldn't be, friend or not, it ain't right.

@Amy V like I mentioned I asked if I should say something to her, I didn't ask if I should cut her out of my life

Cheating is disgusting no matter what forum you post on.

good luck

I agree with the others. This is pretty much exactly what I would say to her, in your shoes:

"What you are doing is cheating, even though there's no physical element to it. It is emotional and mental cheating, and even though you don't agree with me, you know it's wrong deep down, or you wouldn't feel the need to hide it from your spouse. You chose to marry him even though you had this other thing going on with another man, but how would you feel if he was doing this same thing to you? You would be hurt, upset, devastated, and would doubt yourself. When he finds out, and he will, he will feel the same way. Is your marriage to your husband worth giving up for this guy you only know through text? I'm not going to be the one to tell your husband, but sooner or later, he will figure it out."

Honestly, after that, I'd avoid her.

We told you to stay out of it by telling her to quit talking about it and to cut off conversations if she starts up again. You said you were going to try and figure out what's going on in her head. Now you're back to telling her to keep you out of it. Okay.

I think many of us define friendship differently. I don't think someone lying and cheating are good traits for a friend. If you'll do that to your own husband, what are you capable of doing to me? If you show such poor judgment in relationships in general, I question highly what kind of friend you could be to me.

She sounds like the kind to egg me on to make out with some guy at a bar that isn't my husband, or to go out and party when I want without him. Nah, don't want friends that think bad decisions are a good idea.

All secrets eventually get found out.

And even if you tell her to keep you out of it, you're not. You know about it, and you're also keeping it a secret.

So when he finds out and he asks if you knew about it, you'll have to either lie, or you'll look really bad too.

Thanks for the advice everyone

You two share the same bond of "telling it like it is"? That's another way of saying you are truthful women. She's lying to her husband, and you're the conduit. I can't believe you even agreed to read her juvenile texts.

Asking young engaged women and newlyweds on this site for their opinion was not a problem; in fact, they're particularly sensitive to issues involving fidelity and trust. Their advice was correct. However, if you want to keep reading 50 Shades of Adolescence, go ahead.