Cheating Bride?

If it makes you uncomfortable, tell her once and firmly, "I disagree with what you are doing. The things you are texting this guy about are things you should be saying to your FH/discussing with your FH. If you would give that attention to your marriage, you'd be happier for it. I don't want to hear more about this other guy and I will not be your cover for when you want to text him."

I don't know that I'd tell the husband, but I think you should make it clear that while she may not think it's cheating, the fact that she has to do it in private means she knows there's something not right about it. But I also wouldn't get caught in the middle of it.

I agree with Just Reenski, you need to tell her how you feel.

Ummm ya, I would say something liek Reenski said. That she can make her own bed, but you want nothing to do with it and will not be an advocate to anything like that.

I wouldn't tell the husband because I'm a firm believer that everything comes out in the end. She will get caught and that will be their own issue. Very sad for him.

Oh how awful! i hate being put in situations like that. it's seriously uncomfortable for everyone. i agree with Just Reenski...tell her firmly how you feel. she needs to hear it from someone how inappropriate this is. if she were caught by her husband, would it be a problem? if it would be, then its a problem all the way around. just be honest and if she gets nasty to you about it, then at least you know that you did the right thing.

I agree with Reenski. Just be prepared for her to be defensive and upset. If the husband flat out asks you what's going on, I'd tell him. But I wouldn't openly volunteer the information.

If she can't tell her husband about this friend she is cheating.

@Just Reenski Dear Lord I would never tell her hubby, I am not that kind of woman. haha but yeah I mean her poor hubby he's trying to make it work so much and she doesn't seem to be into it.

I did tell her he was too good for her and it's pretty sleazy to do that especially on her wedding night! She's just so hard headed!

If y'all are close, I would definitely say something. If you feel she's cheating on her husband, even if it's just emotionally, it could really hurt your friendship if you let it build up.

@Amy V the texts kinda go like this.... "I'd love it if you we're to push me up against the car and blank my blank with your blank"

I would tell her how I feel, tell her to keep it away from me and keep on truckin

That's not hard headed, that's just plain ol selfish and fucked up. What is the point of getting married if she clearly knows her heart isn't in it. Yikes-not cool.

You can voice your opinion all you want, but it the end she will do what she wants to do. Obviously what she is doing is wrong, but she is making her bed and she is the one that has to lie in it. I would say it’s mentally cheating. Texting another dude on secret the night of your wedding is not cool. I do have friendships with guys even ex-boyfriends and we occasionally talk. But how it’s not wrong is that I leave it on my phone and FH has freewill to read any conversation he wants. When it’s a secret, it turns into something more, something you shouldn’t be doing. You can maybe tell her it’s shitty of her, but she probably won’t listen.

FH and I are close friends with a married couple. They are currently separated. She cheated and we both know it, but her husband does not. It’s an awkward and uncomfortable situation. I told her it was wrong and now she just doesn’t tell me anything anymore but I’m sure she’s still doing it…

People have to change for themselves.

Unless her husband is your sibling or your best friend from growing up, even if asked, I'd put it back on her shoulders -- "You need to talk to Sue about it." It's not your fight. I think your main concern should be putting a stop to hearing about the guy. If she continues talking about him after you've said you don't want to, cut conversations short. The more you know, the more you can get caught up in the $hitstorm that is likely to happen in the future.

Holy crap! If she's willing to do that to her DH then honestly, can you trust her? If she doesn't respond to you telling her you think it's wrong, I would end your friendship with her. I couldn't be friends with someone who would dare do that to anyone in their life, let alone her DH!

It's like you can see the shit storm coming years in advance!

@Amy V I'll never stop hanging out with her for something like that.

Agreed with @Lindsay W. Do people really listen to us when we give advice when they're so deep into it? I think she's just doing it for the thrill and to prove she's still desired by someone

I'd stay out of it but I would tell her that you don't want to hear about it at all and to not coming crying to you when she gets caught.

It's not a matter of giving her advice or even making her stop. It's you expressly stating that you disagree with it and trying to get her to stop talking to you about it. The issue with her using you as a sounding board is it makes her believe that you're condoning her actions. From what you've said, you don't condone those actions. She can do as she pleases, but she doesn't need to rope you into the storm by telling you all about it.

And I'm with Amy -- you may not want to stop hanging out with her over this, but remember that the people around you reflect on you, accurately or not. This is not behavior I would condone and I would question the values that someone holds vs my own if they acted this way. It just seems like inviting trouble into your own life.

Renee – sometimes people get so invested into things they don’t hear what the outside world is saying. Unfortunately she’s probably going to have to get burned to realize what she is doing is wrong.

If she does it and keeps showing you I think she REALLY just needs attention and I would not give it to her.

"I understand you're going to do what you want but can you please not show me? It really makes me uncomfortable"

What FinallyDoingIt said. The world is gonna come down hard on her. The way she is acting, she knows it's cheating and that is all there is to it! BTW: I want to read some of those texts so I can blush, too!