Ceremony and no reception

I think what you are doing is fine. It’s your day and if people want to come they need to come for the right reasons and not for the free food and drinks. Whatever works for you is what matters. You just have to be realistic though which I’m sure are and not get offended if some people don’t show up because they were expecting something in return. That is not what a wedding is about. If you want the traditional ceremony and that’s it then go for it regardless of what anyone else on here says.

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If you are hosting your guests after the ceremony for food and cake, then you are NOT just having a ceremony. You are having a RECEPTION at your home. There should be enough food to constitute a meal if your at home reception will span the time a normal meal is served.

I’d also like to say that while futuremrsbanks is relaxing because she didn’t spend $10k on her wedding everyone will likely be thinking I could have done without XYZ wishing you didn’t take your own advice to say “thank you” for people who are supposed to love you come to one of the most important days of your life.

I have only ever heard of people doing the opposite. Maybe having a small ceremony and then inviting people to a reception. I think at least cake and champagne would be appropriate. Or nothing at all..like no "guests."

If thats how you want to get married go for it, its your wedding.

If you are not eloping with just the two of you, you NEED to at least have cake and punch. Otherwise it’s rude to your guests.

Thank you @Jenn I appreciate someone else getting where I am coming from.

And @muriel if thats what you wanna call it, go for it. Whatever floats your boat

And if we decided to do "no guests" as many of you have suggested, our familes would be heart broken. It may be difficult for some of you to understand, but they are actually EXCITED about us getting married and are more than excited to come. Regardless of a reception.

Is it rude to have guests at an event and not host them properly? Yes.

But sometimes people on this site completely lose focus of what is truly important. H and I are not religious in the slightest, so for us marriage wasn't a sacrament. But even so, it was, and is, a very big, very serious commitment. It's not about the party, although parties are awesome. Literally the most important part of the whole thing is saying vows to each other. Anyone who says they wouldn't attend a wedding that doesn't have a reception seems to be prioritizing the exact wrong thing. Just like brides and grooms who prioritize getting gifts are prioritizing the wrong thing.

If you don't appreciate seeing someone making a lifetime commitment more than you appreciate DINNER or CAKE, I'm not sure I would consider it important to have you at my wedding.

And for all of you guys telling me what i "NEED" to do, you all NEED to chill. You arent going to change my mind. I appreciate the opinions, and the constructive criticism, but our minds are made up.

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Then why did you post here? Everyone is giving you the correct information that you need to host some sort of reception.

@stephanie THANK YOU! I left this website a few months ago because of that exact reason. I am not getting married to impress anyone. I am not spending 1000's of dollars. It is going to be a simple ceremony, filled with love, with our family watching. I never go to a wedding EXPECTING food or cake. Just like I dont expect gifts or money from guests. Its just not about that. Its about love. the celebration of LOVE.

@a.l. because I wanted opinions. You can share an opinion without trying to make someone change their mind. And it may be correct to you, but not to me. Maybe we were raised differently, maybe its where were from, I dont know... but not everyone goes to a wedding expecting something. Regardless if we make it clear on the invite, what does it matter anyway? If guests dont like it, they wont come. If they dont care (they dont) they will. end of story.

View Quoted Comment Whether you call the food and cake at your home following the ceremony a gathering or a reception, it seems perfectly fine. I’m going fairly low budget compared to some (10k), because a gathering at my home isn’t what I want for my wedding. That doesn’t mean I don’t think it’s right for your wedding. Whatever makes you happy (and I honestly mean that). The gathering/reception at your home gives your guests a chance to mingle wit each other and spend time with the new bride and groom while eating. Seems perfectly fine even according to any etiquette rules. I hope you have a wonderful wedding.

Wow so you post something a d want opinions then mad when no one gives you what you want to hear. I don't care if you don't like what everyone has to say, you asked by posting on here. Would you go to a party at someone's house and expect no food or nothing to drink? No, you expect something to drink and even finger foods. You want to be a bad host then be one. Bit don't get pissed at us for telling you how it is

If you have people coming from far you should at least include a dinner.

My *opinion* is that it looks like a rude gift grab. Rude, rude rude. All of it.

I'm not sure why you bothered asking, except maybe to stir the pot.

Lol I asked because I'm excited about my wedding. I wanted to hear opinions. And I never once got mad, so I don't know where that is coming from? I really do appreciate the feedback. But that's all it is, feedback. I didn't post this to change my mind, or to get a lesson on etiquette (I couldnt care less about etiquette) I posted because I'm excited about a decision we made and wanted to see what others thought.

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Actually your OP is misleading. The thing where you have people over for food and cake is a reception. You're actually having a reception. If you're not requiring that the guests pay you for the food then you're hosting something.

I can tell that you don't care about etiquette (mods, just responding to her statement of same).

Now I know, and now I know not everyone thinks the way I do. But what I do know, is that we are going to have a beautiful wedding, surrounded by family who WANTS to be there. Call it rude, or a gift grab, whatever. At the end of the day I don't care if my guests show in sweat pants, with just a smile on their face, I'd be happy they made it
With that said, if y'all are so worried about me having a reception or not.... Are you going to come pay for it?? Lol bye y'all 👋

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*You* asked for "opinions". Remember? In your first (misleading) post?

Keep stirring...