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MrsBanks
Expert April 2018

Ceremony and no reception

MrsBanks, on December 27, 2017 at 3:20 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 124

We've decided to just do a ceremony. And we love the idea. Just wanting to hear some other opinions.

124 Comments

Latest activity by MrsBanks, on April 14, 2022 at 3:42 PM
  • Nemo
    Master August 2018
    Nemo ·
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    Are you eloping, or will there be guests? If you're having guests, you need to do at least a cake and punch reception or take them all out to dinner to thank them.

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  • Forestwed
    Master May 2018
    Forestwed ·
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    A ceremony for only you and FH or are you having guests? You can’t expect people to come to your ceremony then simply go home. At least a cocktail hour or small dinner
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  • stella8103
    Just Said Yes June 2018
    stella8103 ·
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    We are not doing a reception. This is my third and his second. Short ceremony and then hit some places with friends and family. I'm wanting to make reservations for the two of us to eat at a nice restaurant though. I don't want to pay for people to drink or eat or take home party favors. Sorry I'm not sorry.
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  • MrsMcK
    VIP September 2017
    MrsMcK ·
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    If you have guests, you have to host some kind of reception. Otherwise, you're being super rude.
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  • S
    Devoted August 2018
    S ·
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    The reception is a thank you to your guests for attending. I agree with the PPs, at minimum you should host a cake and punch reception at a non-meal time. Personally, I probably would not attend just a ceremony unless it was for someone in my immediate or FH's immediate family.

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  • Melissa
    Dedicated January 2018
    Melissa ·
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    If this is how you feel why are you inviting them? Why not elope? Let me guess, for the gifts?
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  • Nemo
    Master August 2018
    Nemo ·
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    Why even invite guests then? Just elope.

    There is no way I would go to just a ceremony, especially if it was more than a 15 minute drive for me.

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  • Mrs.hays
    VIP April 2018
    Mrs.hays ·
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    I mean.. It’s okay if you’re eloping I guess. We have family coming from all over and I can’t imagine not feeding them or anything.
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  • stella8103
    Just Said Yes June 2018
    stella8103 ·
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    No we aren't asking for gifts. Like I said, it's my third and his second. We aren't wanting for anything and I'm not going to break the bank for people to come out. No one is obligated. Lots of people are happy for us and want to celebrate with us. And that is great. I've already done the gigantic wedding with hundreds of guests, food to the hilt and paid for everyone to drink. This is the way we want it this time around. You wanted opinions. My future husband has anxiety about being in the spotlight and the ceremony will be just enough to keep him from having a panic attack. The rest is pretty social and nonobligatory.

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  • NoraBoraXD
    Dedicated May 2018
    NoraBoraXD ·
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    I think it really depends on how many people. If it's just a few people then it's totally chill to just do a quick ceremony and hit up a bar or something for happy hour.

    I think this only works with your CLOSEST people - probably like no more than 5 "guests" total. They should know up front though.
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  • OGJessieJV
    Master July 1867
    OGJessieJV ·
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    If you have guests, you have to feed them. If you don’t want to, do not have guests.
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  • Forestwed
    Master May 2018
    Forestwed ·
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    I 100% agree. Going out to eat on our own and excluding who you invited is rude and disrespectful
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  • Mj
    Devoted June 2019
    Mj ·
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    If you want to have just the ceremony and have guests then you all go out afterwards to celebrate. If you want to have just a dinner and special night together then I'm sorry but do it with just the 2 of you. If you have people come out for the ceremony, them being super excited for you, they're going to want to celebrate with you so atleast give them that. Any you wont break the bank going to a bar or bar/restaurant.

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  • NoraBoraXD
    Dedicated May 2018
    NoraBoraXD ·
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    OP - it's really all about how you present it. Calling it a wedding/ceremony/reception really puts ideas into people's heads as to what it "should" be. I think the key here is to present as "hey, we're getting married. We're heading here after, join us if you can/want."

    We did this for our "engagement" party. My advice is be prepared to cover the tab, no matter how small the party is - even if they may decide to just split/cover it.
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  • FutureMrs.V
    Super June 2018
    FutureMrs.V ·
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    Weird that your picture and name just changed on this post. Are you notifying all of your guests that they will be paying for a meal? I would not be traveling for a wedding when there wouldn't be a reception. My moms third wedding was in a courthouse and her and her H just went to dinner by themselves after. If you invite someone to dinner after your wedding, you should be paying. I'm sure they would be expecting that.
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  • OGJessieJV
    Master July 1867
    OGJessieJV ·
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    No, no it’s not. If you have guests at your wedding ceremony, you must host them in some fashion after, hence receive them.

    If you wish to just have you and your spouse go out to eat, then you do not have any guests. Fin.
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  • NoraBoraXD
    Dedicated May 2018
    NoraBoraXD ·
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    When a friend got married 8 years ago - it was literally 4 people present beside the bride and groom at City hall. We then went to a mid-range Chinese restaurant after and ordered a family style-lunch (no reservations or anything). We (the guests) decided to split the bill as a gift despite the couple's objections.

    It was super lax and informal and it was perfect for them.
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  • BoudreauToBe
    Master July 2018
    BoudreauToBe ·
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    Do you invite people over your house for your birthday and then kick them out while you enjoy a quite meal with your family?

    No. That would be rude.

    Why would a once-in-a-lifetime day be any different, let alone less special?

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  • E'Delana
    Devoted July 2018
    E'Delana ·
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    Did the OP just disappear lol

    I had a friend who had a small ceremony and dinner afterwards. It was just the bride and groom, both sets of parents and both sets of grandparents. I thought it was sweet and intimate.

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  • OGJessieJV
    Master July 1867
    OGJessieJV ·
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    That was a decision as guests, but the expectation is that you are being hosted by the couple. The expectation is that the couple will pay, if another person offers to pay, that’s up to the couple to accept or decline, but they should be paying in the first place.
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