Cash bar

I'm from the south too and have been to a number of dry weddings. Just having the option of something alcoholic to get me through my Saturday night is a courtesy. Whether I pay or you do really has never bothered me.

I'm in the south. I've never been to a wedding that didn't have an open bar, but s lot of venues down here make that optional. Most places have a good price per head to include liquor. Our wedding is open bar with top shelf, two daiquiris, and champagne bar in a separate area with mix ins.

It is NOT a Boston/New England thing, please stop making us all sound cheap. I love seeing lots of other New Englanders on here, but come on. I grew up in ME, college in Boston and now am in RI, and I've only been to one cash bar in our area. We were annoyed (didn't know in advance, no ATM, and we would have lowered our gift amount if we'd known) but they at least provided free booze for the after party.

Do you invite friends over to hang out and charge them for that beer they grabbed out of your fridge? No. Why would you invite your dearest family and friends to an event where they likely brought you a gift, and the. Charge them for a drink? It's rude, end of story. Please stop making Boston area sound bad. We are not all cheap and rude to our guests.

@cathy, I did not say I couldn't afford it. I didn't even say I wasn't having one. I asked if it might have been regional and then asked tips on anticipating consumption. I am also not asking for advice on ways to cut back on my wedding/guest list of change venues. Because I am doing none of the above. But thanks

@misse I did say it was not a high end restaurant, but I assume many venues are not considered high end.

My oldest daughter and her hubby had an open bar for their wedding in sept of last year,

But capped it at 2000.00. My middle

Daughter for

Married last January and did not have an open bar..it is totally up

To the couple (and yes we are new englanders...)

@klimberkat I'm not sure you read the post correctly. I stated that I didn't know it was a thing because I've never seen it. I definitely never said I was too cheap /rude to offer one or was opposed to it. I literally didn't know, and so I asked. Now I know

@littlebean that's fine, and it's why you ask questions. :-) I just got annoyed reading response after response saying yes it's a Boston/New England thing. I know it's just social pockets that don't know better/anything else, it just sucks when people assume their whole region is in their social pocket. Sorry if I came off harsh, no offense intended. It's school vacation week and I work at a place with kids....should not internet while exhausted. ;-)

I have worked many wedding on the East Coast and The Islands, always an open bar.

People are so judgemental on here. It actually makes me cringe. I say do whatever you want. The people that love you and want to witness your big day likely won't care if they have to pay for a few drinks. And guess what... If the choice is inviting all of the people who you love but not hosting open bar or limiting it to X number of people with an open bar, I'm choosing more people all day everyday!! Alcohol is not the reason you have a wedding. For the record, we are having an open bar. We are fortunate. However, I don't blame others who don't.

Its a personal thing. I went to a wedding in L.A and it was a dry wedding, 2 wedding in Maryland and both were dry weddings and a wedding in North Carolina and it was a cash bar. I guess all my friends/ family are tacky and i'm ready to join the tackiness with a dry wedding .

As for regional (and this a VERY small sample) my younger brother and baby brother both got married in the past year and a half. Both grew up in Boston-- one got married in Vermont, the other in Maryland (is that New England? I always forget which states count-- sorry) and both had an open bar.

Buffalo here and I have never been to a cash bar. But some of the open bars have been weak and watered down.

Although one wedding I went to had "bride shots" which were signature, but they were cash, except for her...because she was bride. I was very confused.

In Canada, namely British Columbia and Manitoba, I've attended/heard of weddings with both, probably half open bars and half cash bars (maybe more cash bars in Manitoba than BC). Our venue manager told us they probably have about 1/3 open bar, 1/3 cash bar and 1/3 beer and wine for free, liquor for cash.

I don't think I can answer the regional question though. FIL thinks cash bars are a horrible idea, yet his own niece had a cash bar at her wedding last year. Seems like there's no consensus here.

I think it's a social circle thing too. I've never been to an open bar wedding either. I know that's the minority on here.

Add another check to the social group column; it's not a regional thing. I've been to exactly one cash bar wedding in my life -- my FIL's second wedding. He knew better, and I'm sure my late MIL was rolling over in her grave when Mr. Cheap (we're talking two millionaires joining their bank accounts) decided to put one bottle of wine on every table for 10 guests to split and then charge his guests for anything more. After spending nearly $1,000 in travel, hotel, and tux fees (my husband was one of three best men...don't ask) and 10 hours in a car to get to and from his wedding, paying for a SoCo on the rocks was more than slightly irritating.

I've been to one cash bar wedding. It was in SW VA. It was not a regional thing, it was a rude as fuck couple thing.

I agree it's a social circle thing. I'm from Texas. I've never been to a wedding or any party for that matter that had a cash bar. Always full open bar.

I've only been to one cash bar in central Illinois

Wow cmck, you know all 35 million people in Canada?! That's amazing. Eye roll.

I have been to many weddings in the Toronto area and all were open bars, except one cash bar 10 years ago and guests of that wedding STILL talk about it behind their backs. Yes, people were offended and appalled.

This is very much based on what is common among families and social circles, not region.

@lisa Yawn. Yes. I want to spend time and money coming to your wedding with lots of other people you can't afford to host and pay for my own drink.

Cut the list, cut me off and host the other people properly.