Cash bar

April G, I'm from mass too and exactly! Open cocktail hour and champagne toasts are all I've ever heard of before coming here.

Im from the Boston area and have never been to an open bar wedding in that area. most of my friends and family from MA think i am insane for having an open bar at my wedding.

However, i think it has a lot more to do with cost than anything else. Every cash bar wedding ive been to in Boston, the couple was on a budget. I considered getting married there since both of our families are there until i started researching venues and found that many of them cost as much as our entire wedding budget.

In Richmond, I can have a 200 person, catered, open bar wedding for the same amount i could rent a country club with no inclusions in MA.

My parents think cash bars are tacky, but they also acknowledge that in their social circle in that area, it is nearly impossible for anyone to afford an open bar.

@Cat I've been to one of those weddings. likewise, I know one of the cash bars I went to, the brides family was pretty religious and did not want to pay for people to drink heavily. Her family paid for the wedding so the compromise was a cash bar instead of a dry wedding. Every situation is different.

Whether it's regional or social circle based, I've definitely seen different reactions from different places.

I'm originally from WV and had never been to an open-bar wedding there... in fact, they were all dry weddings. I moved 3 years ago to New Orleans and have been to 5 open bar, and one beer/wine only and people were actually offended about the limited-bar wedding... as if the bar was the reason to go.

(FYI I'm doing open bar, but I totally get why others don't--budget, religion, size of wedding, even had a cop friend who didn't want people drinking and driving. IMO, do what you want, the wedding is not about the bar.)

What are opinions on limited drinks? Our reception is only 3 hours and we don't have a lot of heavy drinkers, i think i know the answer already but I saw an idea where you give each guest three is for tokens for drinks and after that they have to pay? After party at the cabin/lodge will be stocked with alcohol so it's not 3 drinks for the whole night just the 3 hour reception.

@spazzy it's sort of middle-ground to be honest. It's not trash but it's definitely not high end. We have a pretty ballroom space but zero outdoor space other than a huge parking lot so it's reception only

I have been to an cash bar (NY) and it is super awkward especially when people don't know about it. I don't bring cash to weddings. I have only been to weddings (besides that one) with beer and wine. We did decide to go with 5 hrs premium open bar because frankly I want a cocktail during my wedding reception and it is super rude to be sipping on one in front of your guests and they can't get one or have to pay!

If you can't pay for a bar, limited or not, you have invited too many people. It's like, "we can't afford silverware, so eat with your hands". It is an integral part of a party.

A cash bar is not a compromise, okay?

Nice wording, Celia

I'm from the south and I've never been to a wedding with an open bar. Closest thing was a wedding where the bride and groom brought their own alcohol to the venue...if you wanted a Bud Lite, you got it yourself. No bartender or anything lol.

My next question would be how to anticipate the cost? Our venue does drinks based on consumption so for a 6 hour reception for 120 people... I have no clue how to anticipate?

New England too and it's very rare for us to attend open bar, and if it is, it's normally just beer and wine. I don't really care either way, but we had LOTS of free booze at ours. ;-)

Thank you, Celia! Nobody has to afford to host an open bar, but you don't get to push the expense off on your guests! You cut your guest list or find a different venue. Simple as that.

Never seen a cash bar in Seattle, Montana, Oregon, California or here in South Carolina.

Jesus take the wheel.

I've never been to a cash bar personally. I agree, it's a social group thing

@celia so is that no on the 3 drink limit?

I've never been to a cash bar wedding and I hope to God that if I'm ever invited to a wedding with one that I know in advance so I can carefully evaluate my attendance!

Littlebean, try google, there must be some averages out there. Then add some safety margin.