Cash bar

I thought wedding were about the bride and groom, not the guests.

Haha WWKatie, just don't come to Alberta for a wedding. LOL.

@Celia in my friend's situation the cash bar was a compromise. Their side of the family were very religious and did not feel it was acceptable to have alcohol being served at a reception, whereas the groom wanted it. The family discussed it and a cash bar was the result.

I believe it is a social group thing. I've been to 15 or so weddings and none of them ever have a completely open bar. They typically fall into 3 categories. Beer, wine, cash liquor. Beer & wine only. All cash bar. Before I joined WW I never knew that cash bars were considered tacky. I will not judge a couple that have a cash bar (because I'm not paying for their wedding) but you bet your ass I'll be bringing in a flask with my own happy juice. We will have a bartender specifically for our event (we are in a hotel) that will only be offering beer & wine. There is a restaurant/bar on the other side of the hotel so if guests really want mixed drinks they can walk over there and pay for those themselves. I won't be advertising this to my guests but I can't really stop them from going over there either.

I'm in New England as well (CT), and while I've attended a few cash bar weddings, we absolutely had an open bar. It was a priority for us, so we made sure to choose a venue where open bar was affordable. It really rubs me the wrong way when I attend a wedding that was clearly very expensive to throw, but the money priorities are off. For example: super expensive venue with rooms over $350/night, candy bar, extensive decorations...and cash bar where the cheapest option is a $7 beer.

Claudia - No. If the wedding is just for the couple, why invite anyone at all? So that you get attention and gifts? That is a very selfish outlook. Traditionally the wedding was also a place to bring the families/communities together into one big family. The ceremony is definitely for the couple, but the reception is a place for everyone to come together and celebrate.

I've been in several weddings (in Arizona) and have attended weddings all over the country (USA) - I have NEVER seen a cash bar.

I've only been to one wedding that was DRY due to the couple being underage and hosting their own wedding, and they made sure all invited guests knew that it was a dry wedding when they sent the invites out, and kept the events short from the early afternoon to dusk.

eta - and that dry wedding - I've never seen so many miserable people at a wedding in my life.

@littlebean, your venue should be able to give you an idea of what to anticipate. One of the caterers we are considering figures 2.5 drinks per person, accounting for non-drinkers. Since we are having the wedding on NYE, we are expecting folks to drink more than usual. If we go with this caterer, we will technically have a "limited bar" but we will switch to running a tab, which we will pay, after the allotted alcohol runs out instead of switching to a cash bar at that point.

All weddings in Ireland are cash bars. Wine is always provided with the meal, and there is usually alcohol such as punch, mulled wine, prosecco, bottled craft beer,whisky or something provided at the at the drinks reception. Other than that people always buy thier own.ETA if there was an open bar people would take advantage of it and stock up on drinks as if there was an achol famine or something,I'm not joking!. The odd time I have been to a funeral or played at an Irish music session where there was a certain amount of money put behind the bar, the above always has happened.

Claudia the way it is often explained is that the ceremony is for the couple and the reception is a thank you to everyone who attended.

@littlebean1215 - the a good estimate is 2-3 drinks per person for the cocktail hour, then 1 drink per person per hour for the rest of the reception. Don't factor out the "non or light drinkers" though, they balance out the heavy drinkers in the estimate

Also, agree that it's way more a social circle thing than a regional thing. We're having beer and wine (a few choices of each) plus two liquors that we bring in where the bar provides mixers. I've been to a BYOB wedding, cash bar weddings, and dry weddings. Plus some that were when I was too young to drink so I didn't pay attention to if there was alcohol. I really don't mind one way or the other, obviously free drinks are preferable but I don't go to a wedding expecting them. But I think I'm in the minority.

I live in ALABAMA and I have never seen a cash bar.

I'm in the Boston area and I would say its definitely depends on the person getting married. I have been to both cash and open bar. I would say my mix is probably 65% open and 35% cash. Cash bars suck but suck even more when you aren't warned about it. Or at least have cocktail hour be open even just beer and wine. I have actually been to a wedding that was literally cash only. I never have cash. I had to borrow money from my dad, talk about embarrassing asking him for more so I could keep drinking.

ETA: We had an open bar and everyone was falling over drunk and really embarrassing. Adults couldn't be adults and ruined my wedding.

JUST KIDDING everyone was awesome and had a blast. And yes they were drunk but no one caused any issues.

@littlebean @lynnie, when i said factoring for non-drinkers, that is what i meant....still assume that they will have 2.5 drinks bc the big drinkers will drink theirs

I've never been to a wedding with a cash bar. I've drank really, really, gross cheap beer, wine and champagne but never had to pay for it.

My venue installed an ATM because it is cash only and does mostly cash bar. It is not a cheap venue either (6k no food). This is why I was so confused! But thanks for the input ladies I will start crunching some numbers.

@Courtney, it's not a compromise, even in that case. Sorry. Making people pay for alcohol because one side of the guest list doesn't drink is not a compromise.

@Claudia. No. Unless it's two people in a Starbucks, it's about the guests.

WWLynnie is spot on about quantitiy.

Conclusion: Not regional in the USA

Possibly regional in: Scotland, Ireland, and Alberta.

I am from Boston, I've been to a full open bar, limited with beer & wine (most common) and quite a few with open cocktails and cash bar after. There has always some sort of free booze at some point. I get why people say it's rude, but as a guest I don't really care, obviously an open bar is fun, but it doesn't make or break a wedding for me. For mine we are doing free beer and wine the whole night.