Cash bar

I'm in the south: the only cash bars I've ever been to were for someone who didn't budget correctly for it and someone who was being super cheap (my dad). The only dry wedding I've been to was on church grounds so it was understandable, but everyone left 45 minutes after dinner.

I have never been to an open bar wedding. I'm in Minnesota. Apparently some vendors and individuals on WW think middle class people are cheap and tacky...

I think it is a personal preference - I choose to budget my funds to something other than alcohol.

@debra 100% born and raised middle class right here. My mom is a nurse, and my dad is a retired corrections officer, nothing fancy going on here. In fact,

FH and I are actually legit poor right now because I am in grad school.

Still having an open bar

Lol it's kind of funny how fired up everyone is getting over this.

And on and on it goes...people choose to live in their fantasies believing that their choice to fund something other than alcohol will wow their guests (like what? Pre-printed mad libs, a second gown, a groom's cake, a horse and carriage, favors that aren't a blip on anyone's radar, PVC piping with drapery that hides whatever, four foot tall centerpieces, a mashed potato bar, an ice sculpture, a videographer, a professional MUA, a string quartet, a candy bar, charger plates, sparklers for the big exit, a limo, a smoke machine, etc)? I don't know how to get the message across -- a party is a party, and drinks go with parties. We all realized that truth at age 16, ordered proudly at age 21, and unless you're a member of AA, routinely indulged at poker games, social gatherings, pool parties, BBQs, family reunions, baptisms, Bar/Bat Mitvahs, funerals, and weddings. Adult beverages are expected at parties. If you're not willing to host adults with adult beverages at parties, then own it and don't bemoan the fact that more than a few of your guests will end up giving each other "the eye" while simultaneously looking at their watches between swigs of coffee and lemonade (i.e, "we can go now, right?"). Call them rude, call them alcoholics, call them whatever -- the truth is that nobody, beyond your family, really wants to sit at any social event for six loooong hours sipping coffee or amassing a bar tab at your big party.

I'm in IL and have been to all different kinds of weddings in regards to booze. Cash bar, open bar, beer and wine only, etc. I don't mind paying for drinks if I need to...I don't expect the bride and groom to pay for all their guests to drink, especially if it's not in their budget. We are having an open bar because it was important to us to do so and it's within our budget.

I live in Texas and never been a wedding that paid for alcohol for anyone. Maybe we drink too much here lol

It's a social thing. Every professional event I go to has an open bar. My guest would be appalled and insulted at anything less then a open bar. Chicago area.

I have never been to a wedding with a cash bar, didn't even know people did that till I came on here. When we were booking our venue, the event planner asked if we were having an open bar and we said "of course" then she continued her sentence with "or cash bar" and my FH said, "I would never have a cash bar. Do people actually do that???" I was surprised when she said that they have an occasional wedding like that.

I live in Arizona and I've been to dry weddings, all cash bar weddings, complete open bar weddings (although not as common), drink tickets then pay for yourself weddings, you name it. I'm having an open bar but I seriously don't care what others do. Doesn't matter to me. I love open bar but if they don't have one I'll still attend. I'm mainly there to show love and support to the couple.

@emily nope. You are wrong here. The host should absolutely tip the bartender themselves, but that is not always the case. Many places have a policy (where I live anyways) that over a certain amount of sales and the venue will not charge a gratuity. Should your bartender work for free in that case? No. Tip your bartender. On both ends.

P.S I should add that I am now a stay at home mom and don't bartend anymore so "lecturing" everyone doesn't actual "serve" me .. But thanks

I judged my bil for not having open bar. They acted like assholes about their wedding wanting 3 bachelor/bachelorette parties together wanted them all paid for by the best man (my husband) and didn't care to host everyone properly. They also had special appetizers ,desserts and other stuff. Im sure all their guests were judging their tacky asses.

I live in Michigan and have never been to a wedding without an open bar (except 1 dry wedding).

MA Here and never ever been to a cash bar, all open bars, even one of my dear friends had a very nice budget backyard wedding reception, and guess what? I didn't have to pay for my drinks. I agree with most others that it's rude. And shoutout to @centerpiece, you are one of the most eloquent writers and you hit the nail on the head every time!

From Massachusetts all my life. Been to about 20 weddings all around New England, mostly Mass & New Hampshire. Just about every one was a cash bar, with 1 hour open bar at cocktail hour. I guess I only know cheap people? When it was time to plan our wedding, my DH insisted (INSISTED), we had open bar, and we did. I remember telling him it wasn't necessary and asking him the last time he went to a wedding where it was open bar. He couldn't remember one, but said he didn't care, that wasn't going to be us. Haha. That's why I love him. People were going ga ga over our open bar as if they never went to an open bar wedding before! Regional or not regional, I have no idea ... all I know, we didn't want people to come to our wedding and have to pay for a drink. I think it is super tacky to go to a wedding and have to pay for a drink. Period.

@centerpiece the wedding you were at where there was a big tip jar left out, I wonder, you said you were Irish American, did many Irish people go over to the wedding. If so that could possibly be a reason. We don't tip in bars here, only in restaurants. Generally we need to he reminded in America. My cousin who moved to America worked in an Irish bar and they got alot of Irish students there,she said because they never thought of tipping the staff always opened a tab and added the service charge onto the bill,otherwise nothing would be left.

Cash bars are like offering to take someone out to dinner, a movie and handing them the bill afterwards. Who does that? Really?

When you offer to host someone, you pay all!

I come from a broke mixed family where cash bars, self catering, and making people buy tickets to your bday party or event to cover cost was/is the norm. And That is not the proper way to do things. It really is a social circle thing.

I'm in Michigan. Have never ever ever been to a wedding with a cash bar. And I've been to weddings that were done on a very tight budget.

With our open cocktail/wine/cash bar set-up we as the hosts did all of the tipping.

I went to a cash bar wedding in Flagstaff, AZ this past December. I don't blame/judge the couple for it. It was still a beautiful/fun wedding. Plus, I somehow only got charged $12 for 5 cocktails (I spilled one, not sure if they charged me for that). Anyway, that's insanely affordable, especially for a country club in a resort town like Flagstaff. And the couple provided the champagne toast so I was fairly buzzed/feeeeling goood all night.