Cash bar vs open bar

Seriously, do not do this. If you can't afford a full open bar either you just have free beer and wine or you cut your guest list.

ETA: words

Your wedding is not a shakedown. Please do not ask people to shell out money for things that you should be hosting.

Cash bar! Just make sure you have other beverages for your guests to drink!

Heidi, no. It's totally rude to make people pay for anything at your wedding. It's honestly so inconsiderate to over invite and then make guests pick up the financial slack. I suppose you'll be wanting a gift too...

This question is asked almost daily. The answer is always going to be "no!" People shouldn't have to pay to celebrate your wedding.

Vicious? Geez, we don't even know you, but if you want vicious, lurk and listen. Maybe you'll be in a stall in a bathroom during your cash bar wedding and the other ladies won't realize you're there. Want vicious? You'll get it. I've heard it, as a vendor -- and at the earliest part of the wedding -- and you don't want to hear it.

I just checked with two other girls that I work with and they are doing a cash wedding too.

I'm not sure if its just a Massachusetts thing where its assumed you pay for your drinks?

I've only been to one open bar wedding in my life, and the guy provided limos for the drive home.

Nooo cash bar ever ever ever

@Lindsey just because that's what everyone does doesn't make it right. Or fun. Or celebratory. Or special.

I work as a bartender in a restaurant that also has space for smallish weddings (up to 100). Do the cash bar guests enjoy themselves? Somewhat. But it is truly a shit show. Half the people are ridiculous or out of control because they have a bottle in their trunk and they just get drunk cause they take too many shots (this was last weekend and it SUCKED). The other half leave early cause they don't want to pay and they aren't having fun.

I would never expect someone to provide their own booze or food when I invite them to my house, and I would never expect someone to buy their own booze at my wedding, which is why I am hosting 24 of my nearest and dearest and that's it.

You have 3 stars. Yet you still asked this question. Not one person should have to open their wallets when attending your wedding. Sorry

You know your friends and family and how they would most likely react to a cash bar. Do what is right for you and them.

If in general they don't drink, then that's your answer. If you know they will miss the alcohol, then you need to think about cutting else where.

@Lindsay O.

@vivian b.

Thank you ladies both. You seem to be a lot more in my tax bracket / mindset than everyone else. I appreciate your input A LOT!

@vivian it's not rude to say the truth that she has experienced multiple times as a vendor. It's not rude to repeat the things she has heard other wedding guests say over and over.

@Lindsey--I'm from Massachusetts originally and cash bars are NOT a Massachusetts thing. Cousins, sister and best friend had their weddings in Massachusetts and they were all open bar. The bar offerings ranged from lavish to a selection of beer/wine and non-alcoholic drinks, but it was open bar.

If cost is a concern, offer a limited bar of beer and wine. If drunken relatives are a concern, that's why you have a professional bartender to monitor and cut off intoxicated guests.

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Lindsey just because it's common doesn't mean it's not frowned upon. It's popular in my area too but I refuse to follow the crowd on that one!

Weren't you advocating self catering on another thread too?

Crap advice all around.

@Jacks nope, I don't need any gifts! I would welcome them to open their cards and use what is inside! Lol

I don't invite for gifts! Like my guests shouldn't come for alcohol.

Thank God we are not friends!

A lot more in your tax bracket!? Please. My DH & I were living off of one income when we got married last year & we still provided alcoholic beverages for our guests. Your reception is to thank the people who support your relationship. They are adults & if they want alcohol it should be an option, period. We had a very small wedding, under 50 people so that we could host properly & we paid for it all ourselves. I'm in college too & that's a huge expense. My point? Don't make assumptions about people's income. You asked for advice yet, aren't taking it. People aren't being vicious, they're being honest & trying to keep you from making a big mistake. ETA - spelling

Yeah, like I said, I never knew cash bars were a big deal or "rude". all the weddings I have been in I always brought cash because I assumed the bar would be cash. I never thought twice and everyone stayed.

Its sad that people need to drink in order to have fun or stay at a wedding. As for people leaving to go drink at a bar, they still have the option to drink.... its not like there is no liquor there for them.

Also, what makes more sense, taking advice from the majority or a few. Think about it.