Cash bar or dry wedding

View Quoted Comment Another poster on this thread said she spent an additional $3k for the open bar- so it was a valid statement.

Enjoy your wedding; we will do the same.

View Quoted Comment Because I’m paying for everything else except the open bar. That’s why.

View Quoted Comment Because you don’t DESERVE a wedding. No one deserves a big elaborate party. You deserve to get married. You are not entitled to a luxury wedding. Sounds like you’re the one who needs to humble yourself.

Consider how horrifically tacky it would be to invite a guest to your home, then ask them to pay for wine or a beer. You’re hosting your wedding, so it’s essentially the same premise.

As far as budget goes, there are numerous ways to tackle that. As one poster said, you could have found a venue that would allow you to bring your own alcohol and managed that very cheaply. You also could have done a very basic beer and wine open bar. Or you could have cut your guest list and used the savings elsewhere to provide alcohol. Everyone on here has a budget, people just prioritize and choose to cut from different places. There are many many ways that are acceptable and very few that aren’t. However, many people choose the unacceptable ones (not providing a full meal during meal time, cash bar/dry wedding) and that is where they get push back from people here who are doing everything possible to create a great guest experience.

View Quoted Comment You can do beer/wine. You can do a modified open bar. There are affordable. ways to provide free alcohol. I got quotes for $2-$8k for open bar. I didn't just throw my hands up and go "oh well. Looks like I'm charging people for a good time."

Good luck with whatever you choose.

View Quoted Comment Yep. We’re having a photobooth, and the only free alcohol for guests is wine with dinner. The photobooth was very inexpensive. Just an hour of an open bar would be 4xs the photobooth cost. So we compromised, and I have full support from everyone. Half of the guy eats expressed they honestly do not care, and other half are underaged. So yes, that was our choice, based on our budget. And no, I don’t feel the least bit bad or rude. Just my opinion.

View Quoted Comment Answer me this: if this is a forum of opinions, then why are open bars the only right way to host? Because a book of etiquette from the 1950s says so? *barf*

Y’all are getting way too worked up over this.

Thank you.

Not at all worked up. I just find it interesting. Peoples opinions matter. If a large group of complete strangers agree it’s rude, your guests probably feel that way.

if a restaurant has a group of bad reviews, and they’re mostly bad, maybe a few supporters, Would you go because a few people said it was good? Or would you listen to the majority?

Thank you all for the feedback.

View Quoted Comment Because some things haven't changed since the 1950s. It's still pretty rude to walk up to someone and slap them in the face...Some rules are pretty timeless. I've never hosted a party and walked around with hand out going "Pay up!"

View Quoted Comment Honestly, the way people feel about that stuff is totally geographical. I’m not from a huge city- where I’m from, open bars are cool, but never expected or required.

View Quoted Comment

I am VERY concerned about our budget! So much so that we looked at the cost of properly hosting our extended families and backed down to 30 guests, so that we could afford to wine and dine them on us all evening. If we couldn't afford to host them properly, we would be cutting the guest list until we could, even if that meant taking *just* our parents out to a wonderful dinner afterward.

View Quoted Comment This is why forums exist. No guest is going to tell the bride her idea is asinine. We are here to give you honest, unbiased opinions. We have no skin in the game. We aren't afraid of being uninvited or getting push back. If you choose to host that way...it's not like we didn't say anything

View Quoted Comment I'm from a farm-town...Where did you pull from that we are from cities?

Tacky tacky tacky

View Quoted Comment You didn’t answer my question

View Quoted Comment What did you do that you deserve a wedding? Inquiring minds want to know. I don't know of anyone who "deserves" a wedding. I've never even heard anyone say that.
Since you deserve a wedding, why don't your guests deserve to celebrate with alcohol you provide? You must think they spent their time, some I'm sure have travel expenses, some need to buy something to wear, miss a day of work & give you a gift, because you deserve it. It's time you humble yourself, mot us

It also depends on your guests!
The majority of my guests don't drink at all, so it didn't make sense for us to have alcohol.
Our wedding is also on a Thursday, so we don't really expect people to stay very long after dinner and dessert!

I'll just say this. Almost every wedding I've attended was dry and I would have been happy to pay for alcohol. So I'd vote cash bar. Just be sure guests know so in advance. I'll also add, these dry weddings also had no dancing and no massive exodus of guests after the cake cutting. It all comes down to knowing your guests. We're doing open bar solely for my fiancé's family and our friends. My family doesn't drink and I'm 110% sure I'm gonna catch hell for offering the open bar.

View Quoted Comment Jesus...I didn’t say everyone was. Ever.