Cash bar or dry wedding

View Quoted Comment You don’t need running shoes to run either but they sure do help.

Just because people l like to enjoy an alcoholic beverage at a special event does not mean they’re bad people or alcoholics. That’s a pretty broad, and rude, comment to make about people in general.

i rarely drink, and don’t like being drunk. Doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy alcohol on occasion. I don’t need it to have fun but I shouldn’t be forced to pay for a drink because the bride or groom doesn’t drink and doesn’t think it’s worth paying for.

Honestly, you're not going to find many people in favor of either of those options here, and for good reason. It's generally considered rude to provide everything else for your guests except the drinks. And I find it funny that alcohol and food are the two essential line items on a budget that most people will try to get around (cash/dry bar, self-catering) and those are generally the most expensive. It's usually less to do with ideological reasons, and more for money.

Even just having a limited bar with beer and wine should appease both your guests and your wallet.

View Quoted Comment And to call someone a bad host because they don’t provide an open bar isn’t rude??? There are no written laws that states a wedding must be this way or that way. People are entitled to have THEIR wedding the way they want without being called a bad host!! Also, not once in my comment did I call anyone an alcoholic or a bad person. You took that comment that way.

I'm of the opinion that you host your guests well. If you can't/won't; elope.

Hosting well means providing alcohol. Even if it is just wine and beer. It is irrelevant if you and your FS drink.

If you refuse to provide alcohol or if you choose to push a wedding coat onto your guests (cash bar), be prepared for guests to leave early or choose not to attend. People don't enjoy being hosted poorly.

Good luck.

View Quoted Comment There are etiquette books and social rules of good hosting. One is considered a poor host if the disregard these rules or push wedding costs onto their guests.

A reception is a thank you to the guests therefore it is not "all about them." If anything, the reception is "all about" the guests.

View Quoted Comment Social rules according to whose standards? I will not let someone else dictate what I do at my wedding. Also, you can have a nice reception without having an open bar. No one should have to spend a ridiculous amount of money to say Thank You!

View Quoted Comment Social rules are rules of etiquette that have been around for decades. If you choose to disregard the rules, don't be surprised if your guests find your event to be poorly hosted.

If you don't want "someone else" to dictate what you do with your wedding, why did you ask this question?

You can have a reception without an open bar. My DH and I did a modified open bar. I have never been to a cash bar wedding or dry wedding that had much of anyone around after cutting the cake. People don't enjoy being poorly hosted, in my experience.

No one "has" to have a lavish reception. Having an evening dinner wedding is a luxury not a right. You have the right to marry. It is a luxury to have a wedding. If you can't afford to host your guests well you always have the option of cutting the guest list until you can afford to host all the guests well or you can elope.

Good luck!

View Quoted Comment You took this way north, I don’t think you are grasping the point of what she said. Also you aren’t being “forced” to pay for a drink. If you don’t want to pay then don’t get one.. easy as that! Yes, alcohol is nice on occasions but just because you’re not being supplied (for free) at this particular event doesn’t make the people a bad host. There are so many weddings out there that do host like this and their parties are great! I don’t judge weddings on their alcohol opinions.

View Quoted Comment I agree. I think a dry wedding is better than a cash bar. At least with a dry wedding nobody is asking me to open up my wallet and subsidize their reception.

View Quoted Comment I never called anyone rude. So before you start calling the pot black, make sure you aren’t doing the same thing. You did say if guests can’t have fun without alcohol it’s a reflection of them (the guests). A reasonable implication to saying they are not good people if they are unwilling to go without drinks to celebrate a wedding.

like I said, I rarely drink, and said I wouldn’t care if a wedding was dry, but if you are going to have alcohol, your guests shouldn’t pay for it.

View Quoted Comment First of all, I didn’t ask the question. I was responding to the original post. And I have no worries about my wedding. I’m an independent thinker and our wedding will be how we want it. That sounds so crazy “disregard the rules”. Enjoy your cookie cutter wedding!

If you are having a cash bar or dry wedding I would just be prepared for it to be a different kind of environment. Most people won’t stick around to dance and will head home after cake cutting. That’s been my experience.

View Quoted Comment No guest should have to subsidize the couple's reception. If they can't afford to host well, they should cut the guest list until they can afford to host them well. Beer and wine options aren't wildly expensive. We hosted a modified open bar with liquor, wine, and beer for 65 guests for about $600 (and that's including the left over bottles we kept for our personal stash).

View Quoted Comment Calling someone a bad host is just a shorthand of saying that they are in breach of good manners and traditional hosting etiquette. I don’t think it’s particularly rude to say. There are no written “laws” of etiquette, but there are written (and unwritten) guidelines. It’s not illegal to be tacky! But yes, it is rude.

View Quoted Comment Wow, assumptions much?

The rules are in place to ensure your guests feel comfortable. My guests had a great time. I was totally unaware giving my guests free alcohol made my wedding cookie cutter. Whatever, I have an awesome husband.

View Quoted Comment

I'm having "my super sweet 16" flashbacks.

It's MY wedding and I'll have it the way I want. Who cares if my guests are unhappy?

You're not an independent thinker for not buying alcohol for your guests. You're not the first person who wants to save money by compromising their guests experience (see also: not providing a full meal at meal time, not inviting everyone from the ceremony to the reception). There are approximately 1,000 threads on here of people doing the same thing, and as far as I can remember they've always been told the same thing - asking your guests to open their wallets at your wedding is rude.

View Quoted Comment I’m an independent thinker because I’m not willing to follow those “set of rules” that people have set for weddings.

View Quoted Comment And how do you know that guests won’t have a great time without following those “rules”. Many people are capable of having a good time without an open bar being necessary.

Winner, winner, chicken dinner (that hopefully you don't have to pay for)

With a dry wedding, guests typically leave early.

With a cash bar, it's not unusual for guests to take money out of the card they were going to give the couple and use that money to buy drinks.