Cash bar or dry wedding

Edit to above because wedding wire is horrible now. We cut down on everything, or completely cut out, to be able to afford booze. No full photography, no favors, no programs, no photo booth, no fancy centerpieces, it all went towards feeding and making sure our guests didn't have to pay for alcohol. Most people on here who are having, or have had, open bar aren't doing so because they have an unlimited budget. They are working within their budget to host their guests well.

View Quoted Comment Exactly! It grinds my gears to read that somebody is providing a photo booth and not alcohol. Nobody is going to go to a cash bar wedding and talk about how awesome the photo booth was.

The WeddingWire forums will tell you that neither are acceptable. I'm team dry wedding but I've also only ever been to dry weddings so clearly the people I hang out with aren't all that interested. It depends on your typical crowd.

I’m just saying that it’s pretty uncalled for to tell another bride that her wedding will be terrible and her guests will walk out if she doesn’t have an open bar.

View Quoted Comment Yes! Seems a little extreme. Like who are you to tell me what my guests will prefer? They’re close family, I think I’d know what they want more than you. If I think they’d prefer a photobooth than free alcohol, you bet I’m doing a photobooth. And saving $3k. Our entire wedding is under $7k- I’m not almost doubling it just for free alcohol!! I even ASKED FMIL, grandmother, aunts/uncles, etc and they said they’re indifferent in alcohol. So because of that my wedding guests- close family members- will leave my wedding really early? Excuse you.

View Quoted Comment I've literally been to tons of cash bar/dry weddings and this literally happens. Every. Single. Time.

Why would we not warn people that people are going to ditch out early if they aren't hosted appropriately?

Any couple can so do whatever they want but please don't be upset or disappointed because everyone left right after.

View Quoted Comment No one will tell you "that's a garbage idea and we are going to talk crap behind your back if you do it" to your face.

People are too scared to upset the couple. We are being honest about our experiences. We aren't scared that we'll hurt your feelings. If you want to draw data from a biased sample go right ahead. We are unbiased. We don't know you personally. We are free, for the most part, to tell you what it is

Hmmm I have a wide variety of "people". I'm friends with people who are everything from Mennonites to secular humanists. We have friends who we hang out are in their early 20s to mid 60s. My closest friends from grad school grew up and Europe and South America. My husband's best friends are from the mid West and Hong Kong. Please explain to me what my "people" are. There's literally next to nothing that you can generalize from the fact they want to be hosted well...

Amen, sister. If a lack of unlimited free drinks is enough to make very close friends and family leave, then fine- leave. I'm not sure I'd want someone like that around all night, anyway. What does that say about them? Distant relatives and not very close friends, I don't care if they leave- they're invited mostly out of courtesy anyway. The rest of the family who actually wants to celebrate with us and enjoy our night together will stay and we'll have a grand time

I don't even have friends over without providing them free alcohol...I couldn't imagine hosting an event and begging for them to pay for part of it. If that's something you want to do. Go for it.

if you are trying to insult my friends, I think I deserve an explanation as to why you feel my friends are horrible.

Oh and since when has not attending a weddig "jeopardizes" a friendship or family relationship. 90% of my husband's family didn't attend our wedding and honestly our relationship is fine.

Im not being nasty to anyone. I'm explaining my experiences and telling people what I have seen or read. I've said multiple times people can do as they wish. I don't know how that's "nasty." Or tacky but thanks.

View Quoted Comment Idk I guess I'm just used to being hosted well 🤷🏽‍♀️ I get very limited free time, especially with my husband. If an event isn't hosted well, my husband and I are leaving to salvage our night.

I’m having a dry wedding. Our venue was perfect (it doesn’t allow alcohol) and when it came down to it, the money we’re saving on alcohol (about $2500 when it’s all said and done) is allowing us to invite more people. I think I that when it comes down to it, the most important part of a wedding is the ceremony, not the party after. Do what you want. Your loved ones will either support you or not, but at the root of it all, it’s about you, your spouse and your new marriage.

I will add that sometimes circumstances come up. We were going to have beer and wine but now are doing soda with a cash bar, due to FHs father passing away unexpectedly about a month ago and he was financing the majority of the wedding. We are in contracts and whatnot and have already paid a lot to the venue, sent out save the dates etc. We unfortunately don't make a lot of money and cannot afford to do an open bar of any sort now. My parents have 6 children and so they also do not have a lot of money. We aren't doing a photo booth or super fancy food, we really don't have anything extra that our venue does not provide (one of my bridesmaids is making the cakes, my cousin is our photographer, you get the picture I'm sure.)
I do hope our guests have a wonderful time at our wedding and can understand our circumstances of being unable to have an open bar.

I asked this same question and was ripped apart. We are in a situation where my soon to be step son has been terribly neglected by his bio mom and her husband. He freaks at the sight of a beer can in the ditch. We as a family have pretty much decided that due to attorney fees and the cost of a wedding we would not be doing an open bar. We have considered having a keg or 2 and possibly some wine, however we also lean towards protecting the child and our own concerns financially. It seems on these forums that many consider an open bar to be a necessity or rude if you choose not to do it. Where I am from, I have yet to be to an open bar. In the end you do what is best for you. Loved ones should come to wish you well and celebrate (in your choice of way) the adventure ahead.

We plan to do a cash bar for our wedding. My fiance is in recovery and anyone that truly knows us will understand our choice. I don't drink as my way of supporting him and we don't want that kind of wedding. We are fine with people having a few drinks if they choose, but the second you have a "open bar" or any kegs it can get out of control. The day is about the couple and not about the guests getting drunk on your tab. We are providing appetizers, full meal, dessert, late night snacks and soda for our guests.

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Agreed! We had the same thought when we talked about doing a couple kegs. There's always those few that get to the keg first and never leave. By the time the last guests filter in the keg is gone and an a**hole has been born. I would prefer to have ample time to spend speaking with and personally thanking each guest without having a rave in the background.

We don't drink and about half our guests don't drink for various reasons. We struggled with this same choice because it is a lot of money to shell out for an open bar or even consumption because caterers still want a minimum purchase just for the bartender and options. We ended up changing venues so we now we don't have all the restrictions other places had so we are going to make some spiked options (punch/ tea) and might pick up a keg or couple bottles of wine. Either way, we aren't breaking the bank for others to indulge. Some guests who drink informed me they were bringing a flask if we didn't offer alcohol lol I told them do what they gotta do! lol