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Jody Wentzell
Dedicated October 2021

Cash bar or dry wedding

Jody Wentzell, on February 23, 2018 at 4:52 PM Posted in Wedding Reception 0 117
My FH and I do not drink so we are thinking of a cash bar or having a dry wedding. I was wondering everyone's opinions on either.

117 Comments

Latest activity by Jen, on March 16, 2018 at 3:08 PM
  • Forestwed
    Master May 2018
    Forestwed ·
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    Consumption or open bar. Don’t ask guests to pay for drinks. We don’t drink but are having it available for our guests
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  • BoudreauToBe
    Master July 2018
    BoudreauToBe ·
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    Neither. Provide alcohol for your guests. They are the guests, after all, not people who should foot the bill of your party.

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  • Jody Wentzell
    Dedicated October 2021
    Jody Wentzell ·
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    The thing is we do not drink
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  • Orchids
    Master March 2018
    Orchids ·
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    So don't drink. DO provide drinks for people that do.

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  • Nikki
    Super May 2018
    Nikki ·
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    Yeah it doesn't really matter if you don't drink. Or if you have that random cousin/uncle/friend in recovery (we all have one, so it isn't really an excuse). You're hosting a party to thank your friends and family for witnessing your wedding. The ceremony is about you, but the reception is about your guests. The only exception to this rule is if you're having your reception in your parish hall which will not allow it, or no one attending drinks for religious reasons (Mormon, Pentecostal, etc). You shouldn't push your personal lifestyle choice to not drink alcohol onto your guests, same as you wouldn't make everyone eat a gluten-free vegan meal just because you follow those dietary restrictions.

    That said, I'd much rather have the option to buy a drink in order to try and enjoy your event like an adult, than be told I'm not allowed to drink at all like a child. Most people like to have a couple drinks to loosen up and have a good time at parties. I've been to ones that were dry (Mormon cousins) and trust me....it was not the party of the century.

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  • BoudreauToBe
    Master July 2018
    BoudreauToBe ·
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    I don't like baked fish but I'm still providing it as an option for my guests that do like that. I don't drink soda either but it will be at the bar.

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  • Mrs.Whooooo
    Master May 2017
    Mrs.Whooooo ·
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    I’m of the UO here that a dry wedding is better than a cash bar.

    that being said, I don’t drink much either but still had a full open bar. People like to drink for special occasions. If you’re going to have alcohol don’t make your guests pay for it though, they’ve spent enough just to attend your wedding.
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  • AllieB25
    Expert October 2018
    AllieB25 ·
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    Both are bad, IMO a dry wedding is worse if I had to pick one.

    I don't drink beer, but I'll still be providing it for my guests who do. I'm not a vegetarian, but I am providing vegetarian meals for my guests who are.

    This isn't about whether or not you drink, but about being a good host.

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  • FutureMrsRound
    Dedicated September 2018
    FutureMrsRound ·
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    Honestly, as soon as you say cash bar or dry bar people freak out. (I had the same issue when posting about this) I personally am doing a cash bar myself, we are offering them a full meal and they know we are grateful for them attending and don’t feel like alcohol is a necessity to show how grateful we are. It is expensive, and it is your wedding so do what you want. Alcohol can be very expensive, and i feel like a cash bar is great because if they really want it that bad then they have the choice to go pick out their drink. It doesn’t mean you are a bad hostess, at all the weddings I’ve been to I’ve never “expected” alcohol. they aren’t footing the bill of your party since none of that money goes back to you, just the venue that they are at. Just let people know ahead of time! Smiley smile
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  • Mrs. Fall Bride
    Master October 2016
    Mrs. Fall Bride ·
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    Neither? Both are terrible options. Have a consumption bar, and pick up the tab at the end of the night. The fact that you don't drink is irrelevant. I'm not a vegetarian but I still provided a vegetarian option for my guests.

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  • Mrs. Fall Bride
    Master October 2016
    Mrs. Fall Bride ·
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    Actually having a cash bar does very much mean you're not being a good host. Your guests should not be taking out their wallets, on top of the time they've taken out of their lives to come and money they've spent on a gift for you.

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  • Ginsteeca
    Expert June 2019
    Ginsteeca ·
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    FH and I don't drink, but we're still providing an open bar with wine and beer for those who wish to drink. You should at least offer cash bar if nothing else.

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  • Mrs.Whooooo
    Master May 2017
    Mrs.Whooooo ·
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    Even offering an open bar of just beer and wine would be an option.
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  • FutureMrsRound
    Dedicated September 2018
    FutureMrsRound ·
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    I personally don’t see how that would make you a bad host, I am providing them food, drinks, and fun on my dime. To each there own I suppose. If they really need something to drink we will be offering tea, lemonade, and water. It doesn’t mean they have to have alcohol to have fun, I’ve been to many wedding and have had a blast without it. Alcohol is just something extra for ones that have the extra money to do so, and that’s wonderful. All I was getting at is no matter what she chooses her guests will still enjoy spending that time with them, but a cash bar will still give them the option rather the guests choose to use it or not.
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  • F
    Dedicated June 2018
    FutureMrsMartin ·
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    We’re doing a cash bar, but we’re purchasing bottles of wine for the tables. I don’t see anything wrong with a cash bar. Being a good host doesn’t mean supplying guests with an open bar. Guests should be there to celebrate the couple and shouldn’t require an open bar to do so. It seems like weddings have become more about pleasing the guests and not about celebrating the couple.
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  • FutureMrsRound
    Dedicated September 2018
    FutureMrsRound ·
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    Thank you! That’s exactly my point! Smiley smile and actually the bottles of wine are not a bad idea!
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  • AllieB25
    Expert October 2018
    AllieB25 ·
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    So when someone comes to dinner at your house do you make them pay you 5 bucks for a beer from your fridge?

    The reception is to thank your guests for attending your ceremony. Any time you ask them to open their wallets is bad hosting.

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  • AQuixoticBride
    VIP July 2018
    AQuixoticBride ·
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    Whenever you invite people to a function, it's about pleasing them. I don't drink soda, but if I have a party I provide some for guests who do. I don't ask them to bring their own, or pay by the cup. Same difference here. I'm not so anti-cash bar as others and think cash is better than nothing, but if the only rationale is because you don't drink, that's really not enough. If you want to save money, you can do a limited bar (I am doing beer and wine).
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  • F
    Dedicated June 2018
    FutureMrsMartin ·
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    There are other ways to thank your guests than spending a ridiculous amount of money on alcohol. The majority of the functions my family have are not open bar, but we still have a great time. If alcohol is needed to have a great time, then maybe that’s a reflection on the guests not the hosts.
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  • Mrs.hays
    VIP April 2018
    Mrs.hays ·
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    I would provide some sort of alcohol for your guests, even if it’s just beer or wine. We are having a dry wedding but that is because we are pentacostal and having our ceremony and reception at the church. If anyone on my guest list was not of the faith I would have chosen a different venue and provided wine.. You need to be a good host and provide for your guests.
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