Bridal shower invitation etiquette for lesbian partners?

Yes, I think you should invite the female partners who are in committed relationships. Not only does it make sense with them being female, but it's a friendly gesture that I'm sure will be appreciated. Also, I think you would avoid any possible misunderstanding that maybe you didn't approve of the relationship or whatever.

Bump?

Thanks Jennifer B. It's just funny, because by that logic, it's not that I disapprove of my straight female friends' relationships with their male partners by not inviting the males!

I would invite them... same reason as jennifer. And I don't think you have to worry about the men getting cranky about it.. you probably couldn't pay the guys to go to a bridal shower! lol.

Yes, this one is difficult for sure. The male partners wouldn't be invited unless it is a Jack and Jill shower. Hmm...??? I do think it is a nice gesture, but, it is not equal treatment. My thoughts, in the interest of equal treatment(which should be the law of the land), I would only invite the partners you know.

I am coming back on this one, because I am still unsure. I think you need to ask 2D.

Yes..

I would invite them. I don't interpret the female-only events to exclude partners of all forms... as the point is to get the girls together!

Plus, it could be a great opportunity to meet the partners of your friends that you haven't had the fortune to meet just yet.

I think you should invite them.

Invite them! they are female and if they dont feel comfortable enough then that partner wont go....jsut like my DH wouldn't go to one either.... that partner maynot want to go... otherwise extend the offer!

I don't think I would invite them. The bridal shower (to me) is a bit more intimate to those close to you. I don't think I would invite the spouse simply because they are female. I don't think I am having a shower in the place I live now, where I have a few friends who are lesbians, but I would not invite their partners because it would change the dynamic of the shower. It would become more couple-ly (I know that's not a word). If I were having a Jack and Jill I would invite both, but not the bridal shower or bachelorette party. But that's just my view. I am open to hearing others' thoughts on this and could potentially be swayed. *listening*

I would not invite them both....I would only invite the one that is "female"......but that is just my opinion

Hmm, His Rib, I think the whole idea of a lesbian relationship is that both of them are "female" (with or without the quotation marks)...

Seriously, I would invite both of them. For almost all social functions, if you invite one spouse, you need to invite the other. Showers are typically considered an exception, because they are limited to females. However, when both spouses are in fact female, so the exception does not apply, I'd say the usual rule for other parties applies.

As an aside, this does result in lesbian showers and bachelorette parties having a quite different vibe from straight ones. It's hard to have a bachelorette party with the theme of "This is my last night of freedom before marriage!" when your soon-to-be spouse is sitting right next to you. ;-)

I'm on the same boat as EDubbsGirl here and to add to it another reason I would not invite both (unless I was close to both) is because your straight friends may not look at it as them being both female but that you invite your lesbians' friends partners but not theirs, it might even be a bit offensive to some.

Personally as a guest I wouldn't care for something like that a female only shower but if you were to do that for the wedding, that'd be a different story. I'd be probably be offended assuming of course that I knew the situation, but that's just me.

One more thing I was gonna add, is that I'm sure they probably will not be all "couple-ly" at a shower so maybe it won't even matter. I have lesbians friends that I've been to many gatherings with and if they do not personally tell you their business then you won't know, same as a lot of straight couple I know.

Thanks for the thoughtful responses. Good point about the "intimacy" of the event, because it is supposed to be my closest female friends. The spouses who happen to be female, I'm not close to them, and only know them in the context of being a spouse to my friend. The ones I have met, are cool though.

On the other hand, good point about having to invite spouses. I do not want to offend either straight or gay friends though, and hope that no one will be offended if I include certain spouses, or exclude others (male spouses).

I may invite the female spouses and let them decide if they are comfortable enough to attend, since they are not close to me.

However, every spouse (male or female) is definitely invited to the wedding! It's just that this female-only tradition of bridal showers is throwing me for a loop. And FH has NO interest in a Jack and Jill!!! (argh)

*bump*

Curious if anyone else has dealt with this issue before, and how it turned out?

Yes, invite the partner. it's always better to be gracious and invite people, making them feel welcome, accepted. if you've never met their partner, they may not go anyway, allowing their partner to bond w/ the other guests & the bride who are all close.

I would say if you are close invite them. I feel if you haven't met them it might be uncomfortable situation to meet them. My FH'sbest friend is in a serious relationship however due to distance neither of us has met her. I would feel a little uncomfortable meeting her in such a setting where she would only know one person and I would have to be around everyone else.

I have a wife and would prefer not to be invited to all showers. It’s not that I don’t appreciate the gesture, but then I feel obligated to go, which makes even more social events that i have to attend. I have my own friends who have showers that I attend, I don’t need to go to double unless I am very close with that person as well.

This is not a couples event. For each member of the couple, if you would put them on your list because they are your dearest friends who would happily give you a gift in addition to the wedding gift ( which is what a shower gift is) then put that 1 on the list. Both will only be on the list if each qualifies separately. As to the friend with a travel companion, alert the hostesses and they decide. This is their party, they issue Invitations, not you.

View Quoted Comment I have gay married or living together friends. They like to be treated as a couple when others are treated as a couple, like a wedding, and treated like an individual when others are. 1 individual, and 2 halves of a couple where one was a hometown friend I introduced to the other , my roommate, came to my small Boston area friends shower, and women's weekend. I did not then and do not now know the individual's wife. We are friends from work and quilting, and we like most of the same classical music and go to concerts and things, which neither her wife nor my husband likes. Both couples came to our wedding. Husband had 2 attached gay men at his bach alone, but with their husbands at our wedding.

Invite with the friends name and put a plus one since you are friends with that person you’re directly inviting them and obviously their partner