Christine
Just Said Yes June 2012

Blended Families - How can I honor my fiancée children during our ceremony from his first marriage?

Christine, on February 29, 2012 at 11:02 PM Posted in Married Life

Does anyone have any ideas or suggestions of how I could recognize or make my fiances children be part of our ceremony? The children are 15(boy) and 10 (girl) and are both very excited for the wedding but I just want to do something special for them during the ceremony. Also do we do it before our after our vows??

ThAnks so much!!!

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10 Comments

  • Yolanda
    Expert September 2012
    Yolanda ·

    I have two girls 23 & 13. My Fh has one girl 9. I bought 5 different color of sand & before we are announced we will all pour a glass of sand into one. This also works with candles. Good luck.

  • Andrea  Ank.
    VIP April 2012
    Andrea Ank. ·

    You could do something like get a necklace for the girl and put it on her and like a really cool mans bracelet for the boy... I would do it before your vows, otherwise when you kiss people think that the ceremony is over and are getting ready to leave.

    Hope that helps?

  • Nikki
    Devoted August 2012
    Nikki ·

    My sister and I were just happy to be in the wedding; I was the ring-bearer and she was the flowergirl, and we were around the same age as your stepchildren. If you want to do something special, the colored sand feature is popular with blended families. Since your stepkids are older, it might be possible (and less messy) to do the unity candle together as a family. Maybe even have special "vows" for each other, some sort of recognition that you are now a loving, solid family and will do your best to stay that way.

  • Meghan
    Master August 2011
    Meghan ·

    Our children were our bridal party. I have heard of couples exchanging vows with the children as well. I've seen them give the children gifts- like a necklace for the girl and maybe an engraved watch for the boy- to symbolize the day.

    We did a deal where we signed our marriage license, then the children signed in the margins. I've seen family certificates that all of them sign as part of the ceremony.

    I'd talk to your officiant and see if they have any ideas.

  • Tammy
    Devoted September 2012
    Tammy ·

    A family recognition is typically done after the marriage vows. Because you are bringing the children INTO the marriage.

    The sand ceremony is a perfect idea, tho a bit overdone these days. In your case, you'd have 4 colors of sand. Bride, Groom, Child 1 & Child 2 (let them pick their own color).

    Here is my thought for us:

    I plan to have hand-stamped pendants made from this company (I've ordered from her before, and the work is beautiful): http://sugartopsllc.com/

    I will put my daughters on a necklace, and the boys on bracelet cords.

    I want "Family 2012" stamped on them. Ask the priest to bless them just as he does our rings, and have us both present them to the children as a token of our promises to make an inclusive family.

  • Melissa
    Devoted September 2012
    Melissa ·

    My fh and i are blending our families... we have decided that we are not just marrying each other but are making commitments to each others children as well. I have 1 girl (20) and 2 boys (11 and 7). He has 2 girls (16 and 11). We are giving each others children special necklaces as symbols of our love for each of them. The girls are getting white gold floating hears with a diamond and the boys are getting cool dog tags like fh's from the army (they really love them). It is going to make our wedding ceremony longer but to us it is worth it because we want them all to know that we love them and are completely commited to them as well. Hope this gives you some ideas...Good Luck!

  • A
    Devoted April 2012
    Andrea ·

    My FH has an 8 year old son and since I couldn't think of a gift to give to him during the ceremony, we're doing a "sand ceremony".

  • Reina
    VIP April 2012
    Reina ·

    I made his youngest daughter a flower girl and his oldest daughter along with my oldest daughter will read prayers during the ceremony

  • 2smilez4u
    Super July 2012
    2smilez4u ·

    Fh and I have four kids total my twin girls (12)and his two boys (9 & 6) so we are letting them light the unity candle after they walk down the aisle together.

  • SemiSweet
    Super March 2012
    SemiSweet ·

    My son is going to escort me down the aisle and my daughter is our flower girl, we are also including them in the vows.

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